Coronavirus

[Tom 14011]

What happens if you end up liking Space Jesus more than regular Jesus?

Technically you’re still bang into Jesus but would Earth Jesus smite you out of spite? 

I’m taking a half day, I think I need to speak to an Earth priest.

[The Fish 10858]

1 hour ago, NJS said:

I've seen rationalisations where theres a christ on every planet in their own form - just as batshit as anything else. 

Every planet? So gas giants devoid of life save for Jeezy Creezy?

[Meenzer 15550]

32 minutes ago, Tom said:

What happens if you end up liking Space Jesus more than regular Jesus?

Technically you’re still bang into Jesus but would Earth Jesus smite you out of spite? 

I’m taking a half day, I think I need to speak to an Earth priest.

 

I can't imagine religion being the kind of thing where worshipping a hugely similar but slightly different deity would pose a problem.

 

[PaddockLad 17283]

20 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

 

I can't imagine religion being the kind of thing where worshipping a hugely similar but slightly different deity would pose a problem.

 

 

 

I enjoy Irving Welsh's description of Western Scottish sectarianism:

 

"Thick weedjie bastards beating each other up to establish who has the best brand of Christianity"

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

4 hours ago, Tom said:

What happens if you end up liking Space Jesus more than regular Jesus?

Technically you’re still bang into Jesus but would Earth Jesus smite you out of spite? 

I’m taking a half day, I think I need to speak to an Earth priest.

Pfft! 
Space deities don’t work in a vacuum! 
WAKE UP SHEEPLE! 

[Isegrim 9798]

 

I think that god is just having a laugh tbh

[Isegrim 9798]

 

[Gemmill 44931]

1 hour ago, Isegrim said:

 

I think that god is just having a laugh tbh

 

If ever a cunt deserved to die from it. 

[Alex 35095]

So Malta are going to allow electronic music festivals to take place there this summer. What could possibly go wrong there? I wonder. 

[trooper 940]

Breaking News

People who test positive for coronavirus or show symptoms in the UK must now self-isolate for 10 days.

The change, announced by the UK's four chief medical officers, comes as ministers try to avoid a resurgence of the virus.

Until now, those showing key symptoms - a new continuous cough, a temperature or loss of taste or smell - have had to self-isolate for at least a week.

The new advice is in line with World Health Organization guidance.

[Renton 21635]

England (and not Scotland, Wales or NI) officially has had the most excess deaths due to covid in Europe. Quite some achievement for an island nation with at least 2 weeks advanced knowledge of the situation. 

 

I suggest Johnson deserves a hand clap, a nice slow one, before resigning. His actions have been tantamount to murder. 

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

*inactions. 

[ewerk 30632]

So you can still go to the pub but don’t mix with anyone who lives in a different house. Because that’s going to happen.

[ewerk 30632]

 

[Alex 35095]

10 hours ago, ewerk said:

So you can still go to the pub but don’t mix with anyone who lives in a different house. Because that’s going to happen.

I suspect it’s aimed at Asian households but they don’t want to say that 

[strawb 4268]

Yeah all the areas they have targeted have high asian populations and it’s eid this weekend

[trooper 940]

Boris & Whitty to give a press briefing at 12 o clock today 

[Renton 21635]

We have a new slogan.

 

Hands, face, space. Get a test. Apparently.

Covid cases officially rising, and further lockdown measures postponed. 

 

BTW, the NE is doing exceptionally well, very few new cases here.

[wykikitoon 20199]

3 hours ago, strawb said:

Yeah all the areas they have targeted have high asian populations and it’s eid this weekend

But obviously no islamaphobia in the Tories

[wykikitoon 20199]

Quote

Posted at 12:3812:38

PM promotes 'staycations'

Boris Johnson praises "staycations", saying some of his happiest childhood memories are of holidays in the UK. Mr Johnson says he might have a short break in this country this summer.

He also says he will make sure there are no discharges into care homes of people who test positive for coronavirus.

It's important that everyone complies with guidance in an effort to prevent infections increasing, the PM adds.

That ends the press conference.

 

I.e lets cancel flights etc to safer countries so we can spend our money here.

Fuck of you floppy haired cunt.

[Gemmill 44931]

Went to Bamburgh today. Drove in and drove out, it was fucking BEDLAM. Ended up getting fish and chips from Gormans and eating it in the garden.

[PaddockLad 17283]

It’s August...folk who’ve just had 4 months off work need a holiday  

 

Bournemouth is mobbed too...people getting off trains complaining of being packed like sardines in the carriages

 

DON’T GET ON THE FUCKIN TRAINS THEN YOU ABSOLUTE WALLOPING FUCKIN IDIOTS 

[Meenzer 15550]

15 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

It’s August...folk who’ve just had 4 months off work need a holiday  

 

Bournemouth is mobbed too...people getting off trains complaining of being packed like sardines in the carriages

 

DON’T GET ON THE FUCKIN TRAINS THEN YOU ABSOLUTE WALLOPING FUCKIN IDIOTS 

 

Aye. It's like they think no one else will have had the bright idea of going to a famously popular beach on the hottest weekend of the year.

 

I needed a bit of a break from the city so I finally made a non-essential train journey last Sunday, from Lewisham to just outside London to hike a chunk of the North Downs Way, and there was literally one other person in my carriage the whole way each way. One of the country parks on the route was busy with young families but pleasantly so. It can't be that hard to find things to do that are going to be slightly less crowded.

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

1 hour ago, Gemmill said:

Went to Bamburgh today. Drove in and drove out, it was fucking BEDLAM. Ended up getting fish and chips from Gormans and eating it in the garden.

We went to Seahouses at midday, fucking rammed. 
We fucked off towards Bamburgh, went to the beach south of the village. 
 

I’ve never seen so many people on Bamburgh beach tbh, but everyone was keeping their distance.  
 

However, the combination of the powder-fine sand and the fuck-you wind meant we were getting gently shotblasted the entire time. 

As I said to Mrs. Fist, every cunt and their brother who’d normally be English breakfasting in Malaga is now stinking up the places we superior fuckers have known and loved here in Perfidious Albion 

[Renton 21635]

4 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

We went to Seahouses at midday, fucking rammed. 
We fucked off towards Bamburgh, went to the beach south of the village. 
 

I’ve never seen so many people on Bamburgh beach tbh, but everyone was keeping their distance.  
 

However, the combination of the powder-fine sand and the fuck-you wind meant we were getting gently shotblasted the entire time. 

As I said to Mrs. Fist, every cunt and their brother who’d normally be English breakfasting in Malaga is now stinking up the places we superior fuckers have known and loved here in Perfidious Albion 

 

Well that's it basically. I don't see the point in blame here mind. The fact is, this is the future. The UK isn't big enough for everyone to staycation,  so demand outstrips supply, everything get more expensive and shitter with it. And the risk of infection increases too. 

 

If you actually live in one of these resorts, well, fuckibg hell  it's shit.