Coronavirus

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

Just now, PaddockLad said:

Not as yet mate I don’t think... I think it’ll be left to the contractor you’re subbying for..

So, fuck all then. 

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

If you’d all sign up to my private snapchat, Fist Fist’s Fistula, I’ll be offering the following from next week.…

Man Boob Mondays - £20 for 10 minutes of private mammary manipulation. 
 

Wank Off Wednesday -£50 a pop, very limited availability, get in quick… I mean really quick. 
 

Fat Cunt Friday - £10 free for all, last man standing gets the biscuit. 
 

Cheers lads, in these trying times I’m sure we’ll all come together in the spirit of …blah blah.  

[Howmanheyman 33257]

43 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

Am fuckin fucked 😞

 

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-on-social-distancing-and-for-vulnerable-people/guidance-on-social-distancing-for-everyone-in-the-uk-and-protecting-older-people-and-vulnerable-adults
 

 

Work from home. If you can't? 'Oy vey! Shit happens.'......seems to be the message coming across here. Go on the sick, mate. 

[Howmanheyman 33257]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

 

 

At the last 2 sentences, not your situation. So true  Protect the floor, not the ceiling I guess. FWIW 95% of the time the company doing the acquisition are more ruthless and have worse T&Cs, in my experience. Obviously not always. 

Aye, that's why it was slightly amusing, it's usually a good thing but S&N used it to fuck over the fed lads when we bought them out for a temporary fix to a problem. They had my sympathy as to save a relatively small amount of money the company shafted them. 

[Renton 21628]

19 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

If you’d all sign up to my private snapchat, Fist Fist’s Fistula, I’ll be offering the following from next week.…

Man Boob Mondays - £20 for 10 minutes of private mammary manipulation. 
 

Wank Off Wednesday -£50 a pop, very limited availability, get in quick… I mean really quick. 
 

Fat Cunt Friday - £10 free for all, last man standing gets the biscuit. 
 

Cheers lads, in these trying times I’m sure we’ll all come together in the spirit of …blah blah.  

 

 

[PaddockLad 17281]

7 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Work from home. If you can't? 'Oy vey! Shit happens.'......seems to be the message coming across here. Go on the sick, mate. 

I couldn’t before the advice changed today.

 

Ive had to tell work that my asthma is playing up, not that I should be signed off due to Corona virus. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’ve got no symptoms. My issues are the risk of infection from the doctor’s surgeries I work in all day everyday because (officially as of today according to the government)  I’m in a vulnerable group. 
 

But it looks like my employer could still require me to attend

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

4 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

 

Interested? 
Here’s a sneak preview of my honking passage of freaky fun. 
 

Spoiler

 

It’s usually firmed up a bit by Tuesday  

 

[Renton 21628]

1 hour ago, PaddockLad said:

Am fuckin fucked 😞

 

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-on-social-distancing-and-for-vulnerable-people/guidance-on-social-distancing-for-everyone-in-the-uk-and-protecting-older-people-and-vulnerable-adults
 

 

 

Shit is now officially real. Officially 3 months self isolation for me. I am the 1 in10, a number on a list. Bet the fuckers wish they'd removed me from that list when I asked. Thoughts for those self employed though. 

[Tom 14011]

3 months

[PaddockLad 17281]

5 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Shit is now officially real. Officially 3 months self isolation for me. I am the 1 in10, a number on a list. Bet the fuckers wish they'd removed me from that list when I asked. Thoughts for those self employed though. 

What are the chances any employer insisting an employee in a vulnerable group  who can’t work from home still attends? Mine has till now, as I said I’m basically bullshittihg to get this week off (obvs before guidance changes today)

 

you’ll be ok but your employer has got to tell you not to come in before they’re legally bound to pay you and they’re not strictly bound to reading this..

 

https://www.ellisjones.co.uk/blog/article/coronavirus-covid19-are-you-entitled-to-wages-if-you-self-isolate

 

Edited March 16, 2020 by PaddockLad

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

Like I said earlier, they’re issuing edicts with hugely vague conditions, making it very easy for Joe Public to be screwed over. 
 

Colour me surprised. 

[Renton 21628]

Just now, Monkeys Fist said:

Like I said earlier, they’re issuing edicts with hugely vague conditions, making it very easy for Joe Public to be screwed over. 
 

Colour me surprised. 

 

This.

 

Don't go to pubs but dont close pubs ffs. I mean its fucking ridiculous.

 

By the way, even by this governments standards this u turn is ridiculous. Not so much a u turn, the government is doing doughnuts. Hope  this makes sense to J69. 

[Howmanheyman 33257]

Aye, my job is non essential but I'd be surprised if they tell us not to go in until it's an official order from the government which they're not doing. I'm not in a vulnerable group, mind. Working from home isn't ever happening.

[Andrew 4771]

Did this make it into here yet? 

 

 

 

[Howmanheyman 33257]

@PaddockLad you're doing the right thing temporarily flamming it. Fucking scandalous you're having to. Why the schools are still open is beyond me?

[Andrew 4771]

We're taking our first measures here. Only 8 confirmed cases in the country so far. 

 

Full office is closing on Thursday to trial run a remote working closure.

[PaddockLad 17281]

17 minutes ago, Andrew said:

Did this make it into here yet? 

 

 

 

 

Just read that. Unreal and sadly makes Piers Morgan on the right side of the argument. Hope you’re well Andrew mate  

[PaddockLad 17281]

18 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

@PaddockLad you're doing the right thing temporarily flamming it. Fucking scandalous you're having to. Why the schools are still open is beyond me?

I know, they’re utter cunts which makes me think there’s a chance they’ll still insist those in vulnerable groups still attend work. Looks like they can legally still do it. I think it’s unlikely but you never know,,

[Andrew 4771]

3 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

 

Just read that. Unreal and sadly makes Piers Morgan on the right side of the argument. Hope you’re well Andrew mate  

 

Aye, like I said above its all pretty low key here. The Government shut down travel and imposed isolation very quickly compared to the likes of the UK so only 8 cases have been confirmed.

 

The only concern for me is that Mrs. A is mildly asthmatic but she should still be pretty safe as long as we're sensible when the numbers inevitably creep up.

 

I am wondering how long this will all persist for, I'm meant to be back in the UK in September.

[Renton 21628]

23 minutes ago, Andrew said:

Did this make it into here yet? 

 

 

 

 

Not sure. Everybody should read this. 

[Howmanheyman 33257]

28 minutes ago, Andrew said:

Did this make it into here yet? 

 

 

 

The response and backtracking of those in power reminds me of.....

[Anorthernsoul 1221]

BJ looking after his insurance pals.

 

 

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

Since I’m now mildly shiting it, I had a look at NHS 111 site. 
“The NHS will contact you from Monday 23 March 2020 if you are at particularly high risk of getting seriously ill with coronavirus. You'll be given specific advice about what to do.“

 

So, just the full week of not knowing wtf is going on then. 

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

5 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

It’d be interesting to know how many Tory MPs have “interests” in major insurance firms 

 

29 minutes ago, Anorthernsoul said:

BJ looking after his insurance pals.

 

 

 

 

[Andrew 4771]

Aaaaaaaaand guess who is working at home for the rest of the week after a friend of Mrs. A let us know she's been asked to isolate until test results come back.