Coronavirus

[Renton 21628]

Testing costs will be low here, although precautions will need to be taken which will add to them. We have an influenza surveillancesystem set up which is being used. No idea about capacity though.

[wykikitoon 20169]

 

[wykikitoon 20169]

https://informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/covid-19-coronavirus-infographic-datapack/?fbclid=IwAR2IrpEJh--59MZv-7nbyYdhR45EjseYFCpTqdDT6JcIa0BBDB7ec0v7zMs

[Ayatollah Hermione 13875]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

 

I really hope this doesn't come back to bite you on the arse. 

I hope it does, being alive is a crock of shit.

[Meenzer 15549]

The HIGNFY account is trying way too hard to compensate for its role in Johnson being our PM.

[Isegrim 9780]

A test costs 200-250 Euro here if you have to pay it yourself, if there is a medical indication it is covered by insurance.

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

3 hours ago, trophyshy said:

Just seen the new Public Health England Coronavirus prevention advice includes instructions to stand up when you wipe your arse.
 

 

Does that mean I’ve got natural immunity? 

[Renton 21628]

Aye, I have heard that smearing yourself in shit can increase immunity over time. 

[trophyshy 7083]

48 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

I hope it does, being alive is a crock of shit.

I prescribe less media, more cans.

[trophyshy 7083]

29 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Does that mean I’ve got natural immunity? 

Standers are immortal.

[Kid Dynamite 7031]

Worrying that the 60year old from

Sunderland hasn’t been abroad and has no underlying health issues but is currently

in a coma. 

[Tom 14011]

Girlfriend with corona I know, I know it’s serious.

[Renton 21628]

Boooooooo!

[Gemmill 44901]

I totally believe it's gonna be shite and a lot of people are gonna die from it, but I don't reckon the UK is facing "hundreds of thousands" of deaths. And people are constantly saying to me "how do you know so much about this stuff". They say it all the time. I guess I must be a natural. 

[Gemmill 44901]

I've just told my sister that booking a Sunday lunch on mother's day two weeks from now, when this thing is gonna be significantly worse than it currently is, with a mother with an already fucked immune system, is moronic. 

 

She has backed down but only under significant protest.

[Renton 21628]

I've just booked a mother's day meal today for the wife, didn't think about it. It's in the Magpie suite at SJP, with a stadium tour included.

 

Now no doubt I will get stick for handing FCB more money. But worse, the fuckers actually made me pay up front. Like I'll ever see that money back if its cancelled.

 

 

[Gemmill 44901]

My mate at work is sat here coughing up a storm. When I told him he was sounding a bit corona-y, he told me that it's only cos he got wet while waiting for the bus yesterday.

 

I mean I'm joking but it's a serious point that people have to take responsibility for where the line is. 

[Gemmill 44901]

4 minutes ago, Renton said:

I've just booked a mother's day meal today for the wife, didn't think about it. It's in the Magpie suite at SJP, with a stadium tour included.

 

Now no doubt I will get stick for handing FCB more money. But worse, the fuckers actually made me pay up front. Like I'll ever see that money back if its cancelled.

 

 

 

You'll be deed by the time the desserts tray comes out. 

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

Fistette gets back around 4pm today on the Lurgy Bus. 
 

I asked her what she wanted for tea and she was straight back with

” Chinese”

 

 Definitely mine. 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13875]

18 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

I've just told my sister that booking a Sunday lunch on mother's day two weeks from now, when this thing is gonna be significantly worse than it currently is, with a mother with an already fucked immune system, is moronic. 

 

She has backed down but only under significant protest.

Great shout, that. There’s money saved for next week. I bet we won’t read this hack in Martin Lewis’ newsletter!

[Isegrim 9780]

5 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Fistette gets back around 4pm today on the Lurgy Bus. 
 

I asked her what she wanted for tea and she was straight back with

” Chinese”

 

 Definitely mine. 

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/coronavirus-longbenton-high-school-italy-17896782

Famous. Posing for photos with the Knight Ryder next...

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

I was going to pick her up in a paper suit and face mask that I have in my dungeon work bag, but the Mrs. put the blockers on. 
 

The level of bed-wetting from some of Longbenton’s finest rednecks is top notch entertainment. 

[Dr Gloom 21925]

have you heard the joke about the coronavirus? 

don't worry, you won't get it

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

 

[Dr Gloom 21925]

it's multi-layered