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Anorthernsoul

By Anorthernsoul,
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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 42320

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8 minutes ago, Alex said:

Btw, how is this newsworthy? :lol: 

“

Affair number three

Katie said: “This was with a man who had recently split with his wife because he had been cheating.

“He had a high sex drive and he really brought out my kinky side.”

0_Boris-Johnson-the-Mayor-of-London-at-t

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Monkeys Fist
Monkeys Fist

I’m surprised they didn’t ask for someone who works well under pressure. 

Meenzer
Meenzer

Seems like an efficient billionaire disposal system if you ask me. More of this please.

Howmanheyman
Howmanheyman

"Hello? Is that Travelodge? Yes, I was wondering if you have the room available that the only fans porn shoot took place in at the Cobalt? Also have you washed the sheets yet? My name? Ah, yes, it's M

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Dr Gloom

Dr Gloom 21900

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2 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Did I ever recount the tale of when I applied after-sun milk to my puckered and tender balloon knot whilst I was “working” my way around the Mediterranean? 

 

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 42320

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Long story short, ran out of keks after a week of putting up tents in hot sun, made the mistake of going commando for a day in cut off denim shorts. :wub:
By the end of the day my starfish was like Lesley Ashe’s duckface. 
I had a bottle of aftersun and thought “ that’ll sooth it”. 
About 5 seconds after I slapped some on it…

 

giphy.gif

 

I actually did a handstand in the shower to soothe the puckering for about 20 minutes. 
 

Don’t put after sun on your sweaty winker, kids :good: 

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Alex

Alex 35044

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2 hours ago, Renton said:

:lol:

 

I don't buy this story at all. The whole point about after sun is its soothing, right? I reckon you mixed up your tub of vaseline with a tub of Vicks vapour rub, you animal. 

There speaks the voice of experience 

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