This is the news!

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

2 hours ago, Dazzler said:

This one remains undefeated:

 

She’s got the wong accent. 
 

 

 

Giddup! 
 

[wykikitoon 19309]

https://news.sky.com/story/dog-walkers-and-pet-killed-after-being-hit-by-bmw-in-maidstone-13053097

 

Language in reporting is very important.  This would imply two cars in a collision.  But no.

CUNTS

[Renton 20420]

Well, if pissing in the countryside is a crime I'm Lex Luther combined with the Kray twins.

I eman ffs, where's the harm? What about various animals that piss everywhere, should we not fine them too. 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/29/english-council-littering-fines-peeing-in-countryside-dacorum-hertfordshire

 

 

[Dazzler 8489]

1 minute ago, Renton said:

Well, if pissing in the countryside is a crime I'm Lex Luther combined with the Kray twins.

I eman ffs, where's the harm? What about various animals that piss everywhere, should we not fine them too. 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/29/english-council-littering-fines-peeing-in-countryside-dacorum-hertfordshire

 

 

Why couldn't they just piss themselves like the average person who stays/lives in a tent?

[ewerk 29491]

How much is MF looking at for shitting in fields all around the NE?

[Alex 34089]

17 minutes ago, Renton said:

Well, if pissing in the countryside is a crime I'm Lex Luther combined with the Kray twins.

I eman ffs, where's the harm? What about various animals that piss everywhere, should we not fine them too. 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/29/english-council-littering-fines-peeing-in-countryside-dacorum-hertfordshire

 

 

Wtf do they think people do when they’re on a long walk in the middle of nowhere?  

[Dazzler 8489]

15 minutes ago, Alex said:

Wtf do they think people do when they’re on a long walk in the middle of nowhere?  

It's the people employed to catch them I feel sorry for. Imagine having to stash yourself in the bushes on the dales and wait for someone to go for a slash. Jump out on them, flash your badge, give them a fright and end up soaked in piss.

[Dazzler 8489]

32 minutes ago, ewerk said:

How much is MF looking at for shitting in fields all around the NE?

He gets away with it because he immediately stands up and wipes his crack with a dock leaf. So they think he's mentally deficient.

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

47 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

he immediately stands up

Point of order- already standing. 
 

Thangew. 

[Dazzler 8489]

5 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Point of order- already standing. 
 

Thangew. 

Which situation is correct?

 

1) You shit straight into your pants.

2) You remove your foot from one pant leg and strategically place the pants to the outside of the other leg and shit straight onto the grass

3) You have a particularly high arsehole so when you shite it shoots away from you at a 90 degree angle clearing the dropped trousers (and hitting the piss police like a poo missile)

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

4. Stance like Alberto Tomba. 
 

 

[Dazzler 8489]

3 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

4. Stance like Alberto Tomba. 
 

 

 

So then I can presume one of the following is true

 

1) You either have the stretchiest trousers in the world to be split that far at the ankles without tearing or;

2) You wear pants with a trap door

 

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

[RobinRobin 10689]

13 hours ago, ewerk said:

How much is MF looking at for shitting in fields all around the NE?

And burying prostitutes?

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68189568
 

Man had “inert nuclear missile” in his backyard. 
 

 

It’s in the US, of course.  

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3708]

2 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68189568
 

Man had “inert nuclear missile” in his backyard. 
 

 

It’s in the US, of course.  

We should create a thread purely for stuff that only happens in America.

[Kid Dynamite 6822]

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/northumbria-police-officer-sacked-sending-28545029.amp
 

Steve Harmison's brother. Spreading news of Joelinton's arrest for drink driving apparently 

[Alex 34089]

Rookie mistake there. He’d have been fine if he’d done something a lot more serious 

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

4 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said:

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/northumbria-police-officer-sacked-sending-28545029.amp
 

Steve Harmison's brother. Spreading news of Joelinton's arrest for drink driving apparently 

 

3 hours ago, Alex said:

Rookie mistake there. He’d have been fine if he’d done something a lot more serious 

Without looking, I’m going to say that between this being posted on Ready to Groom, and the “bribed by their murderous, camel-humping, paed…etc” response, it’ll be a maximum of one post, possibly zero if the original poster makes the link first. 

[Kid Dynamite 6822]

3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

 

Without looking, I’m going to say that between this being posted on Ready to Groom, and the “bribed by their murderous, camel-humping, paed…etc” response, it’ll be a maximum of one post, possibly zero if the original poster makes the link first. 

The story doesn't mention that he's an ex pro-cricketer, played for Blyth Spartans/Ashington in non-league football etc and has a famous brother. Seems to be getting reported on the QT

[Alex 34089]

15 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said:

The story doesn't mention that he's an ex pro-cricketer, played for Blyth Spartans/Ashington in non-league football etc and has a famous brother. Seems to be getting reported on the QT

The Chronicle absolutely loves a bit if tittle-tattle so it makes me wonder if the reported and/or editor are so hopeless that they’ve never even made the connection, despite it not being a very common surname. I just don’t see why they’d have not mentioned Steven Harmison otherwise. As there would be absolutely no legal ramifications for stating the facts. 
By the way, apparently he’d only been in the force for a year and was advised that if he admitted full guilt at the hearing then he would get away with a severe reprimand. Only to then be dismissed upon doing that. 
An absolutely stupid thing to do though. And by someone who isn’t exactly a young kid either. 

[Kid Dynamite 6822]

7 minutes ago, Alex said:

The Chronicle absolutely loves a bit if tittle-tattle so it makes me wonder if the reported and/or editor are so hopeless that they’ve never even made the connection, despite it not being a very common surname. I just don’t see why they’d have not mentioned Steven Harmison otherwise. As there would be absolutely no legal ramifications for stating the facts. 
By the way, apparently he’d only been in the force for a year and was advised that if he admitted full guilt at the hearing then he would get away with a severe reprimand. Only to then be dismissed upon doing that. 
An absolutely stupid thing to do though. And by someone who isn’t exactly a young kid either. 

He posted details of the arrest on 3 different WhatsApp groups (before it was public knowledge) and then logged into the case file on the police computer despite not being involved in the arrest. 
 

Not sure who advised him he would get a reprimand, but I'd have been very surprised if they let him continue working after that. 

[Monkeys Fist 41318]

Looks like the Knight Ryder will need a new narc 

[Alex 34089]

5 minutes ago, Kid Dynamite said:

He posted details of the arrest on 3 different WhatsApp groups (before it was public knowledge) and then logged into the case file on the police computer despite not being involved in the arrest. 
 

Not sure who advised him he would get a reprimand, but I'd have been very surprised if they let him continue working after that. 

This is the fucking police we’re talking about. His problem was being new in the job. They get away with all sorts of shit much worse without being dismissed. I’m not defending what he did by the way. 

Edited February 4 by Alex

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3708]

54 minutes ago, Alex said:

This is the fucking police we’re talking about. His problem was being new in the job. They get away with all sorts of shit much worse without being dismissed. I’m not defending what he did by the way. 

I’m guessing he was still a probationer so could be canned easily.