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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

 

Harry, an abused and mentally unstable child, being punished for throwing a cake at a woman (and blaming a pixie), takes revenge by throwing his abusive step-father from a second floor window. Following the incident he has a complete mental breakdown. While incarcerated he imagines the juvenile detention centre as a world of wizards and magic. He gets into fights in the yard claiming only to be partaking in a violent game to catch a winged ball that flies. He also talks to himself incoherently, kills a cat and several people which he blames on the memory of a man who died 11 years ago (just after he was born). In the end he sticks a shiv in the eye of an inmate who he insiists is a 64 foot snake. Rather than the violent actions of a psychopath he sees this as an heroic validation of all that he's done before. He celebrates in the mess with Bubba, a 28 stone violent murderer with a penchant for under 13s.

 

Dark.

 

Followed it up with Prisoner of Azkaban (which was the best so far) and Goblet of Fire which was the worst with too much time dedicated to the prom and an ill defined contest that sees Voldermort (supposedly the scariest mo fo ever) and his monumental return relegated to a B story played out in the last few scenes.

 

Wathed The Order of The Phoenix last week too and I'm struggling to remember what went on. a rambling mess of a film. The acting from the kids is a lot better, but it added very little that we didn't know at the end of the last film. two and a half hours to perpetuate the status quo. Hopefully the next one will be more dynamic shifting.

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

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Moon at the Tyneside Cinema. Four hash Marmites out of five.

 

Cheers for the exhaustive review. :lol:

 

:icon_lol:

Didn't want to spoil it for anyone :razz:

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

I was saying the same thing recently (might have been on here). It seems like blockbusters are all around the 2 1/2 hour mark now when that sort of film should be more like 90-100 mins more often than not.

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

I was saying the same thing recently (might have been on here). It seems like blockbusters are all around the 2 1/2 hour mark now when that sort of film should be more like 90-100 mins more often than not.

 

I'd have expected films to get shorter, given the modern propensity to cater to folk with short attention spans...

 

Wouldn't have been surprised to see Ad breaks during films, although I suppose there is enough product placement.

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

I was saying the same thing recently (might have been on here). It seems like blockbusters are all around the 2 1/2 hour mark now when that sort of film should be more like 90-100 mins more often than not.

 

I'd have expected films to get shorter, given the modern propensity to cater to folk with short attention spans...

 

Wouldn't have been surprised to see Ad breaks during films, although I suppose there is enough product placement.

 

In the olden days there used to be in some films iirc? There was usually two features as well. Proper night out.

 

Btw HF, you don't have to see this Harry Potter bollocks you know. Just say No.

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Renton's lass was telling me he likes her to dress us as an usherette and feed him choc ices.

 

:lol::icon_lol::razz:

 

I didn't know you three were so close!

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Renton's lass was telling me he likes her to dress us as an usherette and feed him choc ices.

 

:lol::icon_lol::razz:

 

I didn't know you three were so close!

Jealous?

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

 

Very enjoyable. :lol:

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

I was saying the same thing recently (might have been on here). It seems like blockbusters are all around the 2 1/2 hour mark now when that sort of film should be more like 90-100 mins more often than not.

 

I'd have expected films to get shorter, given the modern propensity to cater to folk with short attention spans...

 

Wouldn't have been surprised to see Ad breaks during films, although I suppose there is enough product placement.

 

In the olden days there used to be in some films iirc? There was usually two features as well. Proper night out.

 

Btw HF, you don't have to see this Harry Potter bollocks you know. Just say No.

 

I wouldn't feel comfortable slagging off something I hadn't seen. I'm not Parky. :lol:

 

...Or an English football columnist.

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Wor lass wanted me to take her to see that and apart from thinking it would be shite I was well and truly put off by the length of it. Fuck that shit.

 

It's ridiculous how long these heap of shit, no substance, popcorn blockbusters are getting.

 

It's incomprehensible to me that they've made Transformers 2 even longer than the first one...150 bastarding tedious minutes. I would have preferred to be waterboarded for the length of the first film...but at least they had an excuse then. They could claim the backstory had to be told....though it wasn't.

 

Certainly not looking forward to the 153 minutes long Half Blood Prince if it doesn't return to the form of Prisoner of Azkaban.

I was saying the same thing recently (might have been on here). It seems like blockbusters are all around the 2 1/2 hour mark now when that sort of film should be more like 90-100 mins more often than not.

 

I'd have expected films to get shorter, given the modern propensity to cater to folk with short attention spans...

 

Wouldn't have been surprised to see Ad breaks during films, although I suppose there is enough product placement.

 

In the olden days there used to be in some films iirc? There was usually two features as well. Proper night out.

 

Btw HF, you don't have to see this Harry Potter bollocks you know. Just say No.

 

I wouldn't feel comfortable slagging off something I hadn't seen. I'm not Parky. :lol:

 

...Or an English football columnist.

 

 

Steady. :icon_lol:

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Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

 

Canny good. My bony arse was in agony by the end, but Jim Broadbent is dead funny...quite a few more laughs in this one than normal. Definitley better than the last two. The bit under water was gorgeous, and the bit where Harry and Dumbledore were stood on that rock in the sea...actually there was loads of great images.

 

 

Snape's blatantly still a goody like. You can see Dumbledore gave him the same speech as Harry about doing what he didn't want to. They're all making the sacrifices Harry's mam made and that Jim Broadbent wasn't going to until Harry guilt tripped him.

 

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