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Christmas 2017


Park Life
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MrsP parents - dry duck grilled about Brexit.

Other relatives in Bremen - poorly cured meats rank wine - Grilled about Brexit

Other couple friends get together - bad meal - they frown at my drinking and weed - grilled about Brexit. :lol:

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2 hours ago, Gemmill said:

 

I don't host Christmas at my house. I'd have no control over when it ends. 

Sure you do. People will sharp leave if you come back downstairs, naked but for the bathrobe loosely cinched about your waist, turkey leg in one hand gravy pan in the other. Settle on the sofa, pop a tv boxed set on (making sure it's one with gratuitous sex or uncomfortable violent scenes in) and mutter "getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout" like a misanthropic mantra.

 

2 hours ago, trooper said:

He'll have had 4 or more before he gets here he wakes up every morning looking for a can we've tried to talk to him but he's in denial so what can you do .

I can run him over.

 

 

2 hours ago, Park Life said:

You gotta learn the gears first.

I would do if you stopped grinding them.

 

2 hours ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:

We're getting a fucking dog.

Read that like you're getting a dog for fucking. Like a shopping trolley, a sweeping brush, a fucking dog.

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i hate forced jollity. the wife's family always want to sit around the table playing board games where i just want to get pissed in front of only fools and horses and a bond movie

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15 minutes ago, Renton said:

So, going for beef this year as none of us like turkey. Trouble is that's fucked up the pigs in blankets and sprouts with lardons, hasn't it? Both of which are lush. 

Have them anyway, there’s no Kitchen Police working on Christmas Day. 

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16 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

i hate forced jollity. the wife's family always want to sit around the table playing board games where i just want to get pissed in front of only fools and horses and a bond movie

 

So go and do it and let them play?

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Just now, Andrew said:

 

So go and do it and let them play?

 

it's pretty much what usually happens. her sister calls me the grinch, but i just have a different idea of what christmas is all about. and it's not playing fucking charades. 

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14 minutes ago, The Fish said:

Aye, it's Christmas Day, you can eat whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want.

“ Dave, love, come down from the attic”

” I will Mummy, as soon as I’ve finished my frozen grapes”

*whispered to Pa Fish

” Are you sure he’s ours?”

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22 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

i hate forced jollity. the wife's family always want to sit around the table playing board games where i just want to get pissed in front of only fools and horses and a bond movie

 

Compromise is the key to a happy Christmas. Play monopoly and simultaneously get rat arsed while speaking in a Sean Connery accent. Tip the board over in a rage for the crescendo whilst screaming about mish moneypenny.

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3 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

“ Dave, love, come down from the attic”

” I will Mummy, as soon as I’ve finished my frozen grapes”

*whispered to Pa Fish

” Are you sure he’s ours?”

 

He'd be up in the attic with me, talking shit, drinking whiskey and avoiding a game of fucking Dingbats.

 

 

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Just now, Renton said:

 

Compromise is the key to a happy Christmas. Play monopoly and simultaneously get rat arsed while speaking in a Sean Connery accent. Tip the board over in a rage for the crescendo whilst screaming about mish moneypenny.

Monopoly is a sure fire way to family arguments. 

 

I prefer games where my towering intellect assures a victory. Like Trivial Pursuit, Mastermind or Pop-up Pirate.

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1 minute ago, The Fish said:

Monopoly is a sure fire way to family arguments. 

 

I prefer games where my towering intellect assures a victory. Like Trivial Pursuit, Mastermind or Pop-up Pirate.

Mastermind pissed might be problematic. I used to love risk, would still happily play that. Key to it is to annex Australasia!

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I'm with @Andrew in having fond memories of Christmas, charades and all.

 

It might help that I haven't really celebrated it with the family in ~15 years though.  That and not having kids. :razz: 

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12 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

But not Dingbats, eh?

 

Dingbats is easy mate, but my Dad would rather cheese grate his cock off, than play that game. Fucking hates it. Think it's a pavlovian reaction to playing it for hours cramped in a narrowboat on the macclesfield canal as it pissed down outside.

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