Generic small time football blather thread FOREVER

[Meenzer 15371]

24 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

He was up against Scary Spice- he’d want shot with shite if he’d lost 

 

 

Also, he looks like Fat Phstevie, Twitter’s greatest Geordie. 

 

Are you saying this is a typical scene at whatever lercal has Carling on cheapest?

 

[Meenzer 15371]

Mind, he's not the only virile young buck to have had a productive Saturday.

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 42004]

A commentators dream. 
“ He’s had Jizz in his pocket today”

” The first half has seen Jizz all over the box”

” Oh no Jeff! The referee’s blown and now he’s got Jizz in his face.”

 

etc

[Ayatollah Hermione 13768]

“Look at the pace, Jizz looks like he’s been shot out of a cannon”

[Monkeys Fist 42004]

“Jizz dribbling in to the box”

 

” Jizz has been lacking today- seems to be struggling to finish”. 
 

That’s it- I’m out of jizz puns

[acrossthepond 867]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

“Jizz dribbling in to the box”

 

” Jizz has been lacking today- seems to be struggling to finish”. 
 

That’s it- I’m out of jizz puns

The fuck you are

[acrossthepond 867]

Here, I'll give it a go.

"Jizz is too inconsistent, he only performs in fits and spurts"

"Top midfield performance, Jizz is covering every blade of grass today"

"Cometh the hour, cometh the man, now here's Jizz from the penalty spot"

[Monkeys Fist 42004]

“ And Jizz has just sprayed one wildly in to the crowd… looks like he’s hit a woman in the face, Jeff.…

 

 

 

 

 

… dirty bitch”. 

 

[Howay 12496]

”Jizz was all over them today, they’ll have to wipe themselves down and try to move forward after that.” 

[Sonatine 11304]

"Jizz for me like"

[Monkeys Fist 42004]

“ And, in this early meeting of the Dutch and Swiss in the Champions League, after some heavy probing and persistent pressure on their back line, they’ve finally crumbled and Jizz has been peppering Young Boys’ at will, shooting from every angle- what are your thoughts, Steve McClaren?l

 

” Schecksy!”
 

[Meenzer 15371]

 

[Meenzer 15371]

Why is he pissing on it?

 

[Monkeys Fist 42004]

Someone told him to go piss up a wall, but they’d all been pushed over. 

[Meenzer 15371]

 

[ewerk 30221]

Ffs, too soon.

[Monkeys Fist 42004]

 

Get fucked. 

[Alex 34786]

3 hours ago, Meenzer said:

Why is he pissing on it?

 

Piss is Anfield 

[PaddockLad 17067]

Decent lunchtime read/watch....the ref resigned after this, didn’t pick a whistle up again...good late period Gazza & B. Laudrup skills..

 

 

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3809]

46 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

Decent lunchtime read/watch....the ref resigned after this, didn’t pick a whistle up again...good late period Gazza & B. Laudrup skills..

 

 

Scottish referees are utter dogshit.

 

[sammynb 3343]

And in other news see Andre Villa-Boas has been sacked/suspended (depending on the source) by Marseille for speaking out after the club signed a player he didn't want!
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/feb/02/andre-villas-boas-offers-to-resign-as-marseille-coach-over-signing-of-ntcham

 

Imagine having a manager with a set of balls willing to say no to a player they don't think is good enough?!?? Oh wait.

Allegedly Rafa has been linked with the job at Marseille, I can see him gagging for the chance to work for a club that signs player the manager doesn't want.

[strawb 4172]

AVB won’t be arsed. He comes from former Portuguese royalty, does football management for a laugh

[Tom 14011]

Didn't he get a pay out of about £15m from Chelsea & a load from Spurs? 

[Andrew 4713]

9 hours ago, sammynb said:

And in other news see Andre Villa-Boas has been sacked/suspended (depending on the source) by Marseille for speaking out after the club signed a player he didn't want!
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/feb/02/andre-villas-boas-offers-to-resign-as-marseille-coach-over-signing-of-ntcham

 

Imagine having a manager with a set of balls willing to say no to a player they don't think is good enough?!?? Oh wait.

Allegedly Rafa has been linked with the job at Marseille, I can see him gagging for the chance to work for a club that signs player the manager doesn't want.

 

AVB has been an absolute basket case at Marseille, some of his champions league comments are great!

 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13768]

Finally, he can get back to his real passion; chucking rally cars around the desert