Psychology

[Alex 35570]

14 minutes ago, The Fish said:

I was typing all the right letters, just not necessarily in the right order.

Wahey!

[Rayvin 5295]

Now that this thread has become a Wolfy free zone, I just want to bump it to throw something out there.

 

Has anyone ever spoken to a psychologist? I've just started seeing one and am a bit uncertain about the whole thing. I feel like I have a good handle on which issues hold me back and what I need to address, I just lack the emotional fortitude and I guess courage to tackle them. Are they likely to get me to a point where I can confront these things? Has anyone had any successful experiences? As a curious side effect of starting this process, I now feel like I want to throw my entire life in the bin and start over. 

 

Is this normal?

Edited September 26, 2017 by Rayvin

[adios 717]

If you're willing to work on it a bit, CBT is a very powerful tool.  I think a lot of other talk therapy is mental masturbation beyond a point and I'm not sure I'd do it for more than a few months every couple years.

 

I also think you'll not change more than 5-10% of yourself without more extreme (chemical) measures, so don't beat yourself up for lacking emotional fortitude or whatever.  You were dealt the hand you were dealt, now you just have to find the optimal solution to getting you where you want to be.

 

I should probably also say, since I mentioned it, that I think chemicals are way over-prescribed and it's very unlikely that you need it.

 

Things that are probably near as important as CBT:  meditation, diet, sleep, exercise, and the less of a fuck-up you are, the more important they become relatively.

 

Hopefully that lot makes sense; can't be bothered to reread.

[Alex 35570]

It did make sense btw

[Christmas Tree 4821]

47 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

Now that this thread has become a Wolfy free zone, I just want to bump it to throw something out there.

 

Has anyone ever spoken to a psychologist? I've just started seeing one and am a bit uncertain about the whole thing. I feel like I have a good handle on which issues hold me back and what I need to address, I just lack the emotional fortitude and I guess courage to tackle them. Are they likely to get me to a point where I can confront these things? Has anyone had any successful experiences? As a curious side effect of starting this process, I now feel like I want to throw my entire life in the bin and start over. 

 

Is this normal?

 

If you know what the emotional issues are already, maybe it's more of a "coach" you should be seeing.

 

It would be interesting to know what you feel the issues you are and how you feel they are holding you back.

[Alex 35570]

CT touting himself as a life coach now

[Dr Gloom 22143]

Gave up trying to be a body coach, despite reaching his goal of a 32" waist 

[Rayvin 5295]

43 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

 

If you know what the emotional issues are already, maybe it's more of a "coach" you should be seeing.

 

It would be interesting to know what you feel the issues you are and how you feel they are holding you back.

 

Possibly true. I gather the psychologist is supposed to help you work on improving your learned behaviours and stuff but honestly I'm looking for practical results here.

 

I'm sure it won't come as a surprise to anyone here that I have an aversion to confrontation and even letting people down. It has started to become clear that this may be why I'm still in the job I'm in, and possibly still with my partner. The more I try to be honest with myself about everything, the more most of my life unravels.

 

It's been a harrowing few days tbh. But I'm convinced that this is a problem and that I'm going to lead a frustrated life otherwise.

[PaddockLad 17643]

My mate is a "life coach". He's also a season ticket holder at SJP. Obviously we rip the piss remorselessly out of him for his chosen path in life but he's gone from a tower block in Gateshead to being a millionaire businessman so he must know something   

[Dr Gloom 22143]

How does one go about becoming a life coach? Does it matter if your own life is a bit shit?

[Dr Gloom 22143]

3 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Possibly true. I gather the psychologist is supposed to help you work on improving your learned behaviours and stuff but honestly I'm looking for practical results here.

 

I'm sure it won't come as a surprise to anyone here that I have an aversion to confrontation and even letting people down. It has started to become clear that this may be why I'm still in the job I'm in, and possibly still with my partner. The more I try to be honest with myself about everything, the more most of my life unravels.

 

It's been a harrowing few days tbh. But I'm convinced that this is a problem and that I'm going to lead a frustrated life otherwise.

 

If you dump your mrs and quit your job the next set of frustrations will come into focus soon enough. Better to just accept that you've got a few decades of feeling unfulfilled before death.

 

#lifecoach

[Renton 21983]

5 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Possibly true. I gather the psychologist is supposed to help you work on improving your learned behaviours and stuff but honestly I'm looking for practical results here.

 

I'm sure it won't come as a surprise to anyone here that I have an aversion to confrontation and even letting people down. It has started to become clear that this may be why I'm still in the job I'm in, and possibly still with my partner. The more I try to be honest with myself about everything, the more most of my life unravels.

 

It's been a harrowing few days tbh. But I'm convinced that this is a problem and that I'm going to lead a frustrated life otherwise.

Are you paying to see a psychologist? Or is this NHS or work?

 

I've seen a clinical psychologist before, gave me some insight into my feelings but tbh I already knew I was suffering an acute stress reaction to an incredibly shit situation. Makes me sick even to think about it now, like a minor form of ptsd or something. I was recommended CBT but I just don't have time to do anything but survive at the moment. 

[Renton 21983]

Oh, I saw a counsellor as well, actually made me much worse about things. I paid for that too. 

[PaddockLad 17643]

5 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

How does one go about becoming a life coach? Does it matter if your own life is a bit shit?

 

 

My my mate trained as a teacher but knocked it on the head as he came to the conclusion that education and academia in general is stuffed with utter wankers. Then he ran various businesses including an industrial printers that he owned in Guildford which won a major industry award about a decade ago after which he has been known generally as "business man of the fuckin year"  he mixes the life coaching with running HMO's for retired Nepalese/Gurkha soldiers  

[Christmas Tree 4821]

44 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Possibly true. I gather the psychologist is supposed to help you work on improving your learned behaviours and stuff but honestly I'm looking for practical results here.

 

I'm sure it won't come as a surprise to anyone here that I have an aversion to confrontation and even letting people down. It has started to become clear that this may be why I'm still in the job I'm in, and possibly still with my partner. The more I try to be honest with myself about everything, the more most of my life unravels.

 

It's been a harrowing few days tbh. But I'm convinced that this is a problem and that I'm going to lead a frustrated life otherwise.

 

My two penneth is that practical results will come quicker from a coach, particularly if you already have a fair idea of the "traits" that are causing you issues.

 

Whilst it's a big problem for you, it's one of life's common issues that coaches deal with day in, day out.

 

A bit like having a fear of spiders, it's less important delving into how you got it but far more important someone tells you what you need to do to get rid of it.

 

A local good coach would be ideal. Failing that you could start by getting a Tony Robbins book / audio. They'll laugh on here, but he's basically the one everyone else copies and his exercises are pretty straight forward and easy to put into practice immediately. ( It's NOT positive thinking btw)

 

Good luck with it.

[Dr Gloom 22143]

47 minutes ago, Ant said:

 

That's exactly what I was thinking

[Ayatollah Hermione 14047]

CT always equates crippling anxieties and mental stress with his fear of spiders, fucking hell

[Dr Gloom 22143]

14 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

 

My two penneth is that practical results will come quicker from a coach, particularly if you already have a fair idea of the "traits" that are causing you issues.

 

Whilst it's a big problem for you, it's one of life's common issues that coaches deal with day in, day out.

 

A bit like having a fear of spiders, it's less important delving into how you got it but far more important someone tells you what you need to do to get rid of it.

 

A local good coach would be ideal. Failing that you could start by getting a Tony Robbins book / audio. They'll laugh on here, but he's basically the one everyone else copies and his exercises are pretty straight forward and easy to put into practice immediately. ( It's NOT positive thinking btw)

 

Good luck with it.

 

So what you're alluding to, tubs, is you've paid for sessions with a life coach, yeah? Is that who advised you to get into taxiing, after the DFS redundancy?  

[Christmas Tree 4821]

3 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

 

So what you're alluding to, tubs, is you've paid for sessions with a life coach, yeah? Is that who advised you to get into taxiing, after the DFS redundancy?  

 

 

Hey, what can I say. Life is about being content, happy and live and let live.

 

Im pretty lucky. I'd reccomend self employment and taxi driving to anyone. 

[adios 717]

1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said:

 

My two penneth is that practical results will come quicker from a coach, particularly if you already have a fair idea of the "traits" that are causing you issues.

 

Whilst it's a big problem for you, it's one of life's common issues that coaches deal with day in, day out.

 

A bit like having a fear of spiders, it's less important delving into how you got it but far more important someone tells you what you need to do to get rid of it.

 

A local good coach would be ideal. Failing that you could start by getting a Tony Robbins book / audio. They'll laugh on here, but he's basically the one everyone else copies and his exercises are pretty straight forward and easy to put into practice immediately. ( It's NOT positive thinking btw)

 

Good luck with it.

Modern psychology isn't really about talking about your past, it's about practical solutions in the present.  From people who have some formal education gathered from decades of experience.  It's far from perfect, but it's the best we've got for now.

 

And the fact that all the life coaches are copying Tony Robbins does nothing to enhance your recommendation.

[Meenzer 15716]

The SMART Recovery group I went to for about nine months after kicking the drink (similar to AA, but rational and science-based rather than religious and self-pitying) involved a lot of stuff that's based on REBT and other Albert Ellis approaches, as well as plenty of what essentially amounted to group talking therapy I guess. Did a lot for me in terms of digging into learned behaviours, triggers and how to spot them, the arguments you tell yourself to justify your own behaviour, etc (as well as giving you a bit perspective vs other people's problems, which is never a bad thing really).

 

Obviously I'm not saying you should fake an addictive behaviour and go along to one or anything (unless you want to - it does only cost a couple of quid in the pot every time, after all...), just throwing my hat into the ring as another example of someone who's benefited from that kind of thing. And I say that as someone who's always been a massive over-thinker and over-analyser, so it's not like I wasn't aware of my thoughts and feelings, but it's interesting to delve into the hidden processes that make you you.

[Christmas Tree 4821]

11 minutes ago, adios said:

Modern psychology isn't really about talking about your past, it's about practical solutions in the present.  From people who have some formal education gathered from decades of experience.  It's far from perfect, but it's the best we've got for now.

 

And the fact that all the life coaches are copying Tony Robbins does nothing to enhance your recommendation.

 

Lets hope Rayvin has a good one then. Unfortunately there's a hell of a lot of shit Ines out there who have done a few distances courses and have little experience.

 

As for knocking Tony Robbins, a guy who has decades of experience working with an unrivalled pool of experts in this and other fields, that's just silly.

[adios 717]

5 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

decades of experience working with an unrivalled pool of experts in this and other fields

Which of your hundred tapes is that parroted directly off? 

 

I'm not going to veer this thread into a conversation about the wonder of Tony Robbins though.

 

ETA:  There are obviously plenty of shite analrapists, but there are also resources for finding good ones and they probably outrank good life coaches by an order of magnitude.

Edited September 26, 2017 by adios

[Alex 35570]

Nailed on Andre Agassi was 'working' with Tony Robbins the same time as he was smoking meth and wearing Pat Sharpe wigs

[Christmas Tree 4821]

10 minutes ago, adios said:

Which of your hundred tapes is that parroted directly off? 

 

I'm not going to veer this thread into a conversation about the wonder of Tony Robbins though.

 

ETA:  There are obviously plenty of shite analrapists, but there are also resources for finding good ones and they probably outrank good life coaches by an order of magnitude.

 

But you have veered off twice now to make silly comments.

 

I'm not going to derail it either, other than to say Meenzer has just mentioned Albert Ellis, another chap who praised Tony Robbins work.