Psychology

[Rayvin 5223]

14 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

Experiences at college, Uni, employment. Where there was an opportunity to flex my mind a bit, or catch the eye with a piece of work, an essay, or a project, I’d procrastinate until there was only sufficient time to put in the bare minimum and thus go under the RADAR. Had opportunities to start/join start up businesses and I’d err on the side of comfortable mediocrity, rather than put myself out there, even when the risk isn’t that great. Even in the Podcast, I’ve been invited onto talkSport a couple of times (to fill in for another no-mark guest) and I’ve shied away from it. Despite being pretty comfortable talking to large groups of people at social functions or in an office environment. So it’s not a fear of attention.

 

So here’s an opportunity to do what I love doing (talking about football) with little or no risk, and I’ve bolted for the door instead.

 

You and I are scarily similar  Right down to the Meyers Briggs test results (my professional setting one, at least). What do you fear in the failure? The thing is, I don't think fear of failure in itself can ever be the root cause - you could think it would have to be about the consequences of that failure in some way. I saw an article in the Guardian today about imposter syndrome, could it be that? You might get "found out"?

[Rayvin 5223]

14 minutes ago, Andrew said:

Interesting and a little surprising that most of the tests so far are coming out with people as introverts. I know we're on an internet forum but as far as they go this place is much less...neck beardy than any other online community I've been a part of.

 

 

 

Wolfy may have a point here though tbf. It might be changeable to a degree dependent on the environment we're in.

 

Also, maybe extroverts are out talking to people IRL rather than posting online?

[Dr Gloom 21924]

47 minutes ago, wolfy said:

I never said it was. 

 

so what was your point then? 

 

actually, don't answer that

[strawb 4259]

I have a really quiet confidence according to mates and work colleagues, in reality I am just biding my time and thinking about what I say so I don't make a tit of myself.

 

Not sure if this is anything to do with owt but I hate seeing people walking in public and eating. Sit down dinner is no issue, just mooching about and scoffing a greggs for example is disgusting to me.

[wolfy 12]

8 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

 

so what was your point then? 

 

actually, don't answer that

This may have made more sense and been pertinent if we were in a room full of your friends, in terms of you physically speaking it.

On an internet forum, typed out, it becomes needy.

[wolfy 12]

1 minute ago, strawb said:

I have a really quiet confidence according to mates and work colleagues, in reality I am just biding my time and thinking about what I say so I don't make a tit of myself.

 

Not sure if this is anything to do with owt but I hate seeing people walking in public and eating. Sit down dinner is no issue, just mooching about and scoffing a greggs for example is disgusting to me.

A touch of OCD.

[The Fish 10857]

11 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

You and I are scarily similar  Right down to the Meyers Briggs test results (my professional setting one, at least). What do you fear in the failure? The thing is, I don't think fear of failure in itself can ever be the root cause - you could think it would have to be about the consequences of that failure in some way. I saw an article in the Guardian today about imposter syndrome, could it be that? You might get "found out"?

 

Pretty sure it will be the fear of getting found out. The curse of parents and teachers convincing you that you're the cleverest little boy in the room. Better to be thought clever and lazy, than stupid.

 

University was a big wake up call, met people there whose intellect (and their application of it) blew me away.

[The Fish 10857]

3 minutes ago, wolfy said:

A touch of OCD.

No it isn't.

[wolfy 12]

1 minute ago, The Fish said:

 

Pretty sure it will be the fear of getting found out. The curse of parents and teachers convincing you that you're the cleverest little boy in the room. Better to be thought clever and lazy, than stupid.

 

University was a big wake up call, met people there whose intellect (and their application of it) blew me away.

I think you may have convinced yourself of being the cleverest little boy, fish.

This is where your problems in adulthood stem from.

You don't have anywhere to go from there. You have to try and keep up the charade of proclaiming to be more clever than you actually are.

 

Try not to be a Chris Eubanks about stuff and just be Chris Eubanks.

[The Fish 10857]

5 minutes ago, wolfy said:

I think you may have convinced yourself of being the cleverest little boy, fish.

This is where your problems in adulthood stem from.

You don't have anywhere to go from there. You have to try and keep up the charade of proclaiming to be more clever than you actually are.

 

Try not to be a Chris Eubanks about stuff and just be Chris Eubanks.

See, this was a nice conversation, then you acted the cunt.

[wolfy 12]

Just now, The Fish said:

See, this was a nice conversation, then you acted the cunt.

Nothing to do with acting anything. I gave you my thoughts but you've immediately went into hurt mode and yet you have no problems digging at me whenever the situation arises.

Stop crying and accept that I'm just evaluating, just like you and your like do with me.

Same type of thing you know.

Don't be such a pussy.

[wolfy 12]

This is how you can find the strengths and weaknesses of people, even on an internet.

Heated debates about the psychological nature behind the screen as opposed to what the persona is given out on a screen.

 

[Rayvin 5223]

15 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

Pretty sure it will be the fear of getting found out. The curse of parents and teachers convincing you that you're the cleverest little boy in the room. Better to be thought clever and lazy, than stupid.

 

University was a big wake up call, met people there whose intellect (and their application of it) blew me away.

 

Big fish, small pond then? I get that. Actually that would suggest your value of your own self comes from how others view you/how you measure up against others. So, while you're comparing yourself to them favourably, you feel little need to push on. And... maybe you remove yourself from situations where you won't be compared so favourably (due to lack of experience on talk shows or whatever) so that you can maintain the sense of self worth. I guess the problem there is that you never end up knowing your own limits if you keep the pond small.

[Rayvin 5223]

3 minutes ago, wolfy said:

This is how you can find the strengths and weaknesses of people, even on an internet.

Heated debates about the psychological nature behind the screen as opposed to what the persona is given out on a screen.

 

 

Debate is healthy and I basically agree is useful in working through stuff like this, but at the same time these are likely to be sensitive issues and some tact about them is probably helpful for keeping conversation going. Interestingly, your approach to working through this stuff is probably characteristic of an ENTJ or something like that. Things must be said in whatever way they have to be said, irrespective of people's feelings. But that won't work if you're talking to someone who doesn't operate on the same level.

[wolfy 12]

1 minute ago, Rayvin said:

 

Big fish, small pond then? I get that. Actually that would suggest your value of your own self comes from how others view you/how you measure up against others. So, while you're comparing yourself to them favourably, you feel little need to push on. And... maybe you remove yourself from situations where you won't be compared so favourably (due to lack of experience on talk shows or whatever) so that you can maintain the sense of self worth. I guess the problem there is that you never end up knowing your own limits if you keep the pond small.

He's a small fish in a massive pond that would like to be the big fish in the smaller pond, yet lacks the confidence to go up against those who he feels intimidated by, in terms of their confidence to pursue their avenues.

 

He's a big fish inside his own aquarium because the other fish inside of it have made him feel that his own territory is his entire world and he's comfortable with that, but not stepping outside of it for fear of becoming the minnow.

 

He's easily hurt.

[wolfy 12]

2 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Debate is healthy and I basically agree is useful in working through stuff like this, but at the same time these are likely to be sensitive issues and some tact about them is probably helpful for keeping conversation going. Interestingly, your approach to working through this stuff is probably characteristic of an ENTJ or something like that. Things must be said in whatever way they have to be said, irrespective of people's feelings. But that won't work if you're talking to someone who doesn't operate on the same level.

It always works. It always brings out the reality in people, instead of the persona they create for whatever situation they find themselves in.

 

[Rayvin 5223]

1 minute ago, wolfy said:

He's a small fish in a massive pond that would like to be the big fish in the smaller pond, yet lacks the confidence to go up against those who he feels intimidated by, in terms of their confidence to pursue their avenues.

 

He's a big fish inside his own aquarium because the other fish inside of it have made him feel that his own territory is his entire world and he's comfortable with that, but not stepping outside of it for fear of becoming the minnow.

 

He's easily hurt.

 

I'm not going to say one way or the other whether I think you've summed up Fish there, as only he can know that, but as brash as this commentary is, aspects of it sum me up.

[The Fish 10857]

13 minutes ago, wolfy said:

Nothing to do with acting anything. I gave you my thoughts but you've immediately went into hurt mode and yet you have no problems digging at me whenever the situation arises.

Stop crying and accept that I'm just evaluating, just like you and your like do with me.

Same type of thing you know.

Don't be such a pussy.

 

Well, re-read what you typed and you'll see that it's a criticism, rather than an evaluation. That stems from your own ego and not me. You haven't hurt or upset me, you're an irrelevance on the internet.

 

You have taken umbrage with my prior interactions with you and chose to have a dig, rather than a discussion. That's your choice, but don't be surprised if someone calls you out for it.  

[wolfy 12]

Just now, Rayvin said:

 

I'm not going to say one way or the other whether I think you've summed up Fish there, as only he can know that, but as brash as this commentary is, aspects of it sum me up.

It sums a lot of us up in many aspects.

As brutal as I may sound in making judgement, the same brutal statements could be made against me.

 

This subject will always be touchy and never be a hold hands in a circle kind of case.

Anything to do with psychological evaluations or admittance, will always create a huge resistance on top of the acceptance of certain issues.

[Alex 35083]

Wolfy

[Dr Gloom 21924]

32 minutes ago, wolfy said:

This may have made more sense and been pertinent if we were in a room full of your friends, in terms of you physically speaking it.

On an internet forum, typed out, it becomes needy.

 

excuse me?  

 

 

[wolfy 12]

2 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

Well, re-read what you typed and you'll see that it's a criticism, rather than an evaluation. That stems from your own ego and not me. You haven't hurt or upset me, you're an irrelevance on the internet.

 

You have taken umbrage with my prior interactions with you and chose to have a dig, rather than a discussion. That's your choice, but don't be surprised if someone calls you out for it.  

You do appear hurt.

Your statement tells me a lot more about you.

 

[Dr Gloom 21924]

Just now, Alex said:

Wolfy

 

he should have his username changed to threadkiller. this had potential to be quite interesting until he waded in 

[Alex 35083]

Just now, Dr Gloom said:

 

he should have his username changed to threadkiller. this had potential to be quite interesting until he waded in 

Aye. Basically fills anything that interests him up with his total and utter shit. Easily ignored like, unless you're Fish or Rayvin

[wolfy 12]

Just now, Dr Gloom said:

 

he should have his username changed to threadkiller. this had potential to be quite interesting until he waded in 

You're out of your comfort zone, you poor lamb.

Join in instead of kicking your little internet feet throwing pebbles at the ground with a bowed head and pet lip. 

I get the feeling you're shouting for the teacher.