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Dealing with a school bully ?


trooper
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My 14 year old son has been assaulted twice since Sunday by the same kid ( the year below him) once at the local shop & once in school. We've had the police out twice who said they've spoken to the kid & his parents the school were today speaking to his parents as he had an internal exclusion & he's doing a detention tonight ( Thursday) With him taking know notice of either the police or school we are in a bit of a dilemma. My 2 older sons 18 & 19 are wanting to have a word with this kid it's not really the route we want to go down but we may have to if this continues. The youngest lad is very bright & is predicted A☆s in all his GCSE's so we 're reluctant to move schools so what would you do in this situation a bit of good old fashioned big brother justice or something else ? BTW I'm aware 2 wrongs don't make a right just we're running out of options.

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I'd love to tell you to stick with the system as it'll get sorted but...well, it won't.

 

No in my experience anyway, I was never bothered outside of school but was bullied a lot and no amount of the school getting involved help. May be different if it's at the level of police involvement though.

 

Are his parents bothered or are they scum bags as well?

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I'd love to tell you to stick with the system as it'll get sorted but...well, it won't.

No in my experience anyway, I was never bothered outside of school but was bullied a lot and no amount of the school getting involved help. May be different if it's at the level of police involvement though.

Are his parents bothered or are they scum bags as well?

That's the thing the school say they can't tell us anything about them due to the data protection act
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If he's being attacked outside of school then it definitely is a police issue.

 

That said, do you know why it's happening? In particular? Surely this kid can't just specifically want to attack your son. There must be a reason.

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If he's being attacked outside of school then it definitely is a police issue.

That said, do you know why it's happening? In particular? Surely this kid can't just specifically want to attack your son. There must be a reason.

He's accused my son of texting his girlfriend ( pathetic I know ) my son says he hasn't done anything like that, he's even told the police the same thing . We just want him to be safe & happy at school my 2 older lads have just told me they'll be picking the young 'un up on Monday from school.

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If he's being attacked outside of school then it definitely is a police issue.

 

That said, do you know why it's happening? In particular? Surely this kid can't just specifically want to attack your son. There must be a reason.

 

That is not neccessarily true, some people are just cunts who pick a target for their cuntery and act on their cuntish impulses

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Your son has to fight back. Otherwise this whole thing will go round and round in circles. I took my daughter to self-defence early days.

I've a mate who's a black belt in shotokan were going to get him enrolled into his club

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aye schools school, no real reason needed, kids are dicks pretty much.

Sadly getting the elder brothers (especially when they're 18+) isn't going help much when the kid is the year below your own already i'd say, different if the kid was older than yours then the older brother thing is fair enough (pref not 18+ mind).

 

Is your wee fella fighting back? if he isn't he needs to, win or not might put the other lad off at the least if he doesn't come out of it scratch free. (or get some big friends)

He's not fighting back Ant that's why I want him to join my mates club

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OK so there is a reason. I totally get that it's not a good one but there's clearly something here that the little fuckwit is attacking your lad for.

 

Even if your kid fights back, if this guy is angry enough about what is effectively a low level crime of passion, it could just escalate. Especially if she's there.

 

So two things on this - one is it'll probably blow over. Not saying don't do anything but the main goal is to keep your son's confidence up as that's the real thing that could harm him long term. Martial arts is actually a good way of doing this.

 

The other thing is probably to confront this kid. If his two older brothers are going to walk him home, have them follow from behind in a non apparent way. If this kid starts on him, then they get involved. If he doesn't then just leave it. If the kid does start, what he'll probably do is begin with verbal abuse. I would encourage your son to give back on this as just standing your ground can solve these things. Especially knowing he has the relative safety of your other sons nearby.

 

The main thing I reckon is to try and resolve this quickly. If it rumbles on then his grades will suffer.

 

I'm surprised the police haven't offered to do more though. Or the school.

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I was bullied too fwiw, including being attacked periodically, and I found that just standing my ground one day and yelling blue murder at this kid in front of quite a few other kids bothered him enough that he went looking for someone weaker in the end. Not a great resolution for the next kid down the line but there it is.

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Sorry to hear this mate. :(  Being a parent in this spot is probably 10 times worse than actually being the one getting bullied.

 

I think the self-defence route is your best option, though some kids just aren't wired to fight back.  If the kid has an older brother himself, like-for-like big brother justice might be ok.

 

Good luck!

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The other thing is probably to confront this kid. If his two older brothers are going to walk him home, have them follow from behind in a non apparent way. If this kid starts on him, then they get involved. If he doesn't then just leave it. If the kid does start, what he'll probably do is begin with verbal abuse. I would encourage your son to give back on this as just standing your ground can solve these things. Especially knowing he has the relative safety of your other sons nearby.

 

This is great advice.

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My 2 older lads are just going to walk 10 - 15 yards behind the young 'un they've said they won't do or say anything unless he starts gobbling off or lifts his hands or feet. If he starts anything then they'll let him know who they are hopefully that'll be enough. Both of them are doing well in their education one at college the other at Uni so I've made them promise not to lift their hands as I don't want any black marks against them.

Edited by trooper
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Sounds like a safe way of doing it. Hopefully your younger son can just stand up to him and tell him to fuck off and it'll work - as I say, it did for me, once - but definitely best to have support.

 

Fucking school politics, man.

Edited by Rayvin
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My 2 older lads are just going to walk 10 - 15 yards behind the young 'un they've said they won't do or say anything unless he starts gobbling off or lifts his hands or feet. If he starts anything then they'll let him know who they are hopefully that'll be enough. Both of them are doing well in their education one at college the other at Uni so I've made them promise not to lift their hands as I don't want any black marks against them.

 

If the kid doesn't know your son has brothers? then they shouldn't really let him know who they are. If it kicks off then just grab him by the scruff of the neck and give him the verbals.

Edited by @yourservice
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I only ever had two isolated incidents of older kids having a pop. The first time he was taking the piss out of me so I took the piss out of the lads walk (he'd apparantly been hit be a car as a youn'un and I didn't know) and he ended up getting his mother in to see the headmaster it hurt him that much - even though he started it. Second time two lads blindsided me with whipped cream thinking they were funny cunts and sprayed it in me barnet. Wasn't far from home so I went home and washed it and they followed me. Me father went out with some engine oil and asked which one of 'em wanted a wash first :lol: Anyway I washed me hair and went back out on my bike, they were waiting round the corner. Dad had told 'es if they start out again just windmill them. Probably not advisable as it was two versus one. Anyway one of 'em came over and told me to get off my bike, apparently he was gonna nick it. I threw an almighty bat at him and he just about managed to dodge it. Anyway he shit himself and they both fucked off. The main antagonist is dead now though, karma and that.

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Tell your kid to blind side him with a bat. School is a fucking joke anyway, they will exclude him for 2 weeks and it sounds like he won't miss it.

 

Give him a full on Scum style kicking, take the two weeks exclusion to revise and carry on with his life.

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