Holidays 2024

[Ayatollah Hermione 13842]

Off to Kos in 30 minutes, brothers. Maxed out the credit card after buying a pint of Moretti in the airport but never mind. Catch you later

[wykikitoon 19996]

11 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Off to Kos in 30 minutes, brothers. Maxed out the credit card after buying a pint of Moretti in the airport but never mind. Catch you later

Smash it dude! 

[Dr Gloom 21868]

1 hour ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Off to Kos in 30 minutes, brothers. Maxed out the credit card after buying a pint of Moretti in the airport but never mind. Catch you later

have a good one!

[Gemmill 44559]

Have a good time daft lad. 

[Toonpack 9316]

Seems CT could be away soon too

 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13842]

They’re fucking not shy with the measurements here, like. Just asked for a Jack and Coke and it’s blasted my napper off. 

[Monkeys Fist 42194]

7 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

They’re fucking not shy with the measurements here, like. Just asked for a Jack and Coke and it’s blasted my napper off. 

Did you have it on your cornflakes? 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13842]

Two hours ahead here. So I started drinking at 8am your time if you’re keeping track.

[NJS 4375]

I know they've seen it all but if I was a barman and some fucker ordered that at 8am I'd load it up to serve the cunt right later on as well. 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13842]

10AM Greek time, dick lips! And I’ll have you know I ordered a lager and a glass of water at first. Fuck this, I’m off in the pool. 

[RobinRobin 11193]

Sounds like you're bursting. 😎 

[Alex 34953]

Of course we’ve got measures here to ‘protect the consumer’ whereas in Spain  or Greece you have to tell them when to stop 

[Monkeys Fist 42194]

12 minutes ago, Alex said:

you have to tell them when to stop 

“Fucking arriba, arriba, Speedy, keep going!”

 

[wykikitoon 19996]

I go to Italy on Monday and I must say I am pretty nervous about it.  I have never liked flying due to the airports,  I fucking hate them.  They're full of thick cunts and it just boils my piss.  I don't have a fear of flying, it's the thick as mince cunts.

'Did you pack you bag yourself Sir?'
'No like, like me bird did it for me init'

WTF WHY? WHY? WHY?

'Only passengers from seats A-B please come forward'

 

*woosh* 'Gary get the kids, we are seats Z so we need to be up there'

CUNTS

[ewerk 30400]

You are quite literally a walking, talking stereotype.

[wykikitoon 19996]

A few years back I had an early morning flight.  Got to the airport at 6:00am.  Got through security and went to get a coffee.  Airport was quite busy and I went to the bar to get a coffee.  Lass at the bar asked what I wanted.  When I said coffee she sighed and said it was a pain compared to a pint.  That's another thing I don't get.  Boozing at that time because 'I'm on holiday'

 

[NJS 4375]

35 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

I go to Italy on Monday and I must say I am pretty nervous about it.  I have never liked flying due to the airports,  I fucking hate them.  They're full of thick cunts and it just boils my piss.  I don't have a fear of flying, it's the thick as mince cunts.

'Did you pack you bag yourself Sir?'
'No like, like me bird did it for me init'

WTF WHY? WHY? WHY?

'Only passengers from seats A-B please come forward'

 

*woosh* 'Gary get the kids, we are seats Z so we need to be up there'

CUNTS

To be fair if I had the death stare ability I think we've mentioned on here before then Airports would be one of my favourite kill zones. 

[Alex 34953]

 

43 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

A few years back I had an early morning flight.  Got to the airport at 6:00am.  Got through security and went to get a coffee.  Airport was quite busy and I went to the bar to get a coffee.  Lass at the bar asked what I wanted.  When I said coffee she sighed and said it was a pain compared to a pint.  That's another thing I don't get.  Boozing at that time because 'I'm on holiday'

 

I’d have asked for a pint of coffee. Then walked away 

[Renton 21440]

2 hours ago, wykikitoon said:

A few years back I had an early morning flight.  Got to the airport at 6:00am.  Got through security and went to get a coffee.  Airport was quite busy and I went to the bar to get a coffee.  Lass at the bar asked what I wanted.  When I said coffee she sighed and said it was a pain compared to a pint.  That's another thing I don't get.  Boozing at that time because 'I'm on holiday'

 

 

I need alcohol before I get on a plane. Or diazepam if its work related. Coffee would be my idea of hell, just increase my anxiety. Don't see anything wrong with medicating like this as long as you don't overdo it obviously. And yeah, for me the holiday starts once I'm through security. 

 

When my kids were young, flying back from Italy they were right pains in the arse kicking the seats in front etc. Not a lot I could do apart from distraction etc. Next day in the Supermarket, an older couple came up to me and said do you remember us? I was fairly scoobied as to who they were, until they said really pissed off " We remember you and your kids from the flight". Miserable old cunts, careful wykiki, don't let this be you! 

Edited June 10, 2022 by Renton

[Meenzer 15466]

Steady on now, seething hatred for other people's kids is one of the true pleasures of travel!

[Meenzer 15466]

I'm not wholly serious of course, I feel sorry for anyone who has to try and keep their little hellions occupied and well-behaved on a long journey, or indeed on the holiday itself. But I do enjoy a good holiday nemesis, whether it's cursing a family of Teutonic sunbed-hoggers or sitting in a restaurant attributing increasingly outrageous far-right views to all the loud gammons on the other tables. It's the little things.  

[Isegrim 9741]

14 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

Steady on now, seething hatred for other people's kids is one of the true pleasures of travel!

One of the few things making holidays with my  own kids bearable is that there parents who are worse off most of the times.

 

Can’t say it about the wife though…

[Ayatollah Hermione 13842]

20 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

I'm not wholly serious of course, I feel sorry for anyone who has to try and keep their little hellions occupied and well-behaved on a long journey, or indeed on the holiday itself. But I do enjoy a good holiday nemesis, whether it's cursing a family of Teutonic sunbed-hoggers or sitting in a restaurant attributing increasingly outrageous far-right views to all the loud gammons on the other tables. It's the little things.  

The English who go abroad and will hunt high and low for things they can get at home boil my piss. Was in a beach bar the other day and some grim as fuck Scousers walked in and one ordered a pie and chips with gravy ffs. All I could think was “Fuck off to Benidorm”

[Howmanheyman 32890]

23 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

I'm not wholly serious of course, I feel sorry for anyone who has to try and keep their little hellions occupied and well-behaved on a long journey, or indeed on the holiday itself. But I do enjoy a good holiday nemesis, whether it's cursing a family of Teutonic sunbed-hoggers or sitting in a restaurant attributing increasingly outrageous far-right views to all the loud gammons on the other tables. It's the little things.  

Generally speaking my holiday wankers/nemesis are usually cockney wankers. 

 

[Renton 21440]

21 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

I'm not wholly serious of course, I feel sorry for anyone who has to try and keep their little hellions occupied and well-behaved on a long journey, or indeed on the holiday itself. But I do enjoy a good holiday nemesis, whether it's cursing a family of Teutonic sunbed-hoggers or sitting in a restaurant attributing increasingly outrageous far-right views to all the loud gammons on the other tables. It's the little things.  

 

I once had a romantic gondola ride in Venice and the gondolier was like a fucking fascist racist version of CT, wouldn't keep his mouth shut. Kept on singing the praises of Burlesconi and making thrusting actions at the wife. As an English coward, I just politely smiled.