Holidays 2024

[Dr Gloom 21912]

okay, the last metro or bus home after pubs close is one thing, but i can't imagine ducking a train and choosing to add 30 minutes to a commute because of the threat of physical or verbal intimidation. it's pretty shocking to hear it's that bad 

Edited September 6, 2023 by Dr Gloom

[Monkeys Fist 42389]

1 hour ago, Alex said:

know I’ve said it before but you’d get rid of about 90% of anti social behaviour overnight if you castrated the little cunts  

Fixed dein pöst

 

[Renton 21592]

1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:

okay, the last metro or bus home after pubs close is one thing, but i can't imagine ducking a train and choosing to add 30 minutes to a commute because of the threat of physical or verbal intimidation. it's pretty shocking to hear it's that bad 

 

I need to work relatively late when I go in, getting the metro back between 6 and 7.

 

You tell me what I should when a charver flicks your ears, backed by 6 hyena mates, or a lass comes up  and says, 'do you want to feel my tits mister, you fucking nonce'. Or a fellow passenger is abused and you either look away or intervene, knowing being knived is a possibility. It's fucking stressful. 

 

Not even exaggerating, a few years ago an ex colleague was randomly murdered in Eldon Square by a charver with a knife for a dare. I've pretty bad anxiety issues anyway, the only time I will use that route is in the morning or coming back from the match with fellow fans, somewhat ironically. 

Edited September 6, 2023 by Renton

[Gemmill 44814]

46 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

You tell me what I should when a charver flicks your ears, backed by 6 hyena mates, or a lass comes up  and says, 'do you want to feel my tits mister, you fucking nonce'.

 

To be fair, it sounds like this lass knows you.

[Gemmill 44814]

The answer to all of the above BTW is you calmly take off whatever top you're currently wearing, put on your white chef's jacket and say "Right big boy, do you wanna fucking go?"

[Renton 21592]

2 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

To be fair, it sounds like this lass knows you.

 

"Taxi queue'"

[Gemmill 44814]

That was different, she had to ask me to STOP feeling them.

[Alex 35064]

3 hours ago, The Fish said:

What was that taken with? A Nokia 3310?

 

re: shit holes I took the lad to the Gruffalo clubhouse in Blackpool last week. Jesus H tittyfucking Christ is Blackpool a horror show. Bloke passed out surrounded by cans in a doorway on the main seafront, houses and shop fronts boarded up, some with windows smashed in, families having to guide their kids around broken bottles on the street and all that stuff. Not blaming anyone who lives there, but it shows how little the government gives a shit about other people.

They elected not one but two Tory MPs iirc with hefty majorities so you can blame a canny few of the locals. 

[Gemmill 44814]

I work in Boro one day a week. Looking out the window of our offices is like playing The Last of Us on a massive screen.

 

Drunks, junkies, scraps in the street, all day long.

 

There was one lass tried to take a "short cut" through a hedge. This thing is about 8 foot deep and runs parallel to a path which she could have just walked along, but she was so out of it she went through the hedge. Took her about 3 minutes to move 8 feet and she eventually faceplanted out of the end of it onto the kerb and had to be picked up by some (also drunk) passersby.

[Renton 21592]

23 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

That was different, she had to ask me to STOP feeling them.

 

I keep rereading this and wondering if this has come out the way you meant. 

 

Anyway, back home now, back to the shit and drudgery that is 95% of my life. Happy holidays people! 

Edited September 6, 2023 by Renton

[Ayatollah Hermione 13861]

28 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

To be fair, it sounds like this lass knows you.

Should be noted that this never happens to me and I go that way all the time. Sounds like SOMEONE looks like an easy target

[Ayatollah Hermione 13861]

Also, landed in Halkidiki to storm warnings and obscene wind. I can feel the compo face coming on now 

[Gemmill 44814]

6 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Should be noted that this never happens to me and I go that way all the time. Sounds like SOMEONE looks like an easy target

 

Proper supply teacher vibes.

[NJS 4378]

7 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Also, landed in Halkidiki to storm warnings and obscene wind. I can feel the compo face coming on now 

The ultimate Mackem place name? 

 

Halkeedeekee marra. 

[Renton 21592]

Just now, Gemmill said:

 

Proper supply teacher vibes.

 

Probably right. 

Once ages ago, I posted on here at the time, I did the hard man stuff and broke up a group of charvers who were laying into a lad. I somehkw booted 3 of them off the train, and asked ilthe lad is he was okay. I was rewarded with a sucker punch to the nose but the daft shit was so soft I barely noticed it. But worse, he scarpered and before I knew it some older lads had seen him hit me and assumed I was guilty of something. Had to talk them down. I still can't sit on my hands though if something dodgy is happening, and it's frequent to see people racially abused or targeted cos they're easy game as you say. Don't need the stress but can't afford the parking nowadays either. 

 

I dunno like AH, if you don't see anything untoward on that route using it frequently, I find it canny amazing. Also many places in Newcastle, Shields, Howdon etc. Hope the wind dies down and you have a fantastic holiday. 

[Meenzer 15518]

9 minutes ago, NJS said:

The ultimate Mackem place name? 

 

Halkeedeekee marra. 

 

Also good in a Brendan Foster commentary voice, à la Douglas Wakiihuri

[Dr Gloom 21912]

2 hours ago, Renton said:

 

I need to work relatively late when I go in, getting the metro back between 6 and 7.

 

You tell me what I should when a charver flicks your ears, backed by 6 hyena mates, or a lass comes up  and says, 'do you want to feel my tits mister, you fucking nonce'. Or a fellow passenger is abused and you either look away or intervene, knowing being knived is a possibility. It's fucking stressful. 

 

Not even exaggerating, a few years ago an ex colleague was randomly murdered in Eldon Square by a charver with a knife for a dare. I've pretty bad anxiety issues anyway, the only time I will use that route is in the morning or coming back from the match with fellow fans, somewhat ironically. 

sounds shit. Move to London. The trains here are perfect: no one dares risking making eye contact by looking up from their phone or book.
 

My 15 minute train ride is my favourite 30 minutes of the day. Just me and my phone with no interruptions from colleagues or kids, which basically means browsing this forum and listening to some twat on a Newcastle podcast 

Edited September 6, 2023 by Dr Gloom

[Monkeys Fist 42389]

4 hours ago, Gemmill said:

The answer to all of the above BTW is you calmly take off whatever top you're currently wearing, put on your white chef's jacket and say "Right big boy, do you wanna fucking go?"

Close, but I find the best approach is to take off your top, which makes them think “aye aye, we’ve got a Tyson here “

 

 

 

then take off your trousers, which makes them think 

“ Oh shit”

 

 

No one wants a fight a crazy bloke in his kegs. 

[Howmanheyman 33145]

4 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Should be noted that this never happens to me and I go that way all the time. Sounds like SOMEONE looks like an easy target

 

 

Was thinking similar, after a few pints I'm like like Begbie, willing some wide, so-called, hard cunt to open their mooth. 

[Howmanheyman 33145]

[Monkeys Fist 42389]

2 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Thought Stevie had come back for second there. 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13861]

2 hours ago, Renton said:

. 

 

I dunno like AH, if you don't see anything untoward on that route using it frequently, I find it canny amazing. Also many places in Newcastle, Shields, Howdon etc. Hope the wind dies down and you have a fantastic holiday. 

I’ve seen plenty of young kids being cunts but nowt to that level tbf like. The whole fucking system is barely fit for purpose anymore though and those “security” lads that get on for two stops and jump right off are about as much use as a chocolate watch 

[Alex 35064]

There were about 6 of those so-called security lads at four lane ends a couple of months back. This was about 6pm on a week night btw. This lass on the platform was having a tab and she was saying to them “I’ll be finished in a minute”. They just looked at her and did absolutely fuck all. This other lad (not with the lass) probably in his mid-20s, who looked to be in his way home from work, turned to them and said “Here, what do yous actually do?”  

 

[Gemmill 44814]

I had no idea that the metro was hiring security guards.

 

Do any of you fancy starting a Guardian Angels like they had in the tube and the subway in New York. Obviously I'll be the gaffer cos I'm the hardest. We'll wear red berets and shiny red jackets like the original lads to ensure we command maximum respect.

[Monkeys Fist 42389]

I tried to get one going with the Metro a few years ago, but they bottled it due to copyright. 
 

Can’t wear the same gear as the original Guardian Angels, so I suggested using proper riot helmets instead of berets, and making it purple instead of red. 
 

I think what lost the argument was calling it The Purple Helmets.