The Fish 10857 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I had norovirus last year. Easily the poorliest I've been. Threw up around 40 times and was right as rain 36 hours later Fucking great way to lose weight fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Once again: you are an Englishman, playing at being Scottish. I know it's like nice guys who pretend to be bad in the wrestling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44881 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Your finishing move is the Sassenach Squasher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35083 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Your finishing move is the Sassenach Squasher. No it's the sassenach snake slap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Not as in illness, but what's the closest shave you've had with death. I've done better than 99% of people so far with my brain tumour, they aren't my words but doctors crack, however....... I thought I was dead last August not once but twice. Passed out massively in my missus mams house, swallowed me tongue, and it felt inside that I was gone, but I came back in hospital. It happened twice in a few weeks, so I stopped any alcohol for the best part of 3 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7029 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Who'd have thought brain tumours and getting mortal didn't mix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Who'd have thought brain tumours and getting mortal didn't mix They're nee Charles and Camilla like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob W 0 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Once spent a very nasty day on Snowdon - thick cloud, snow and we went wrong - finished up clingingt oa very steep ice slope without the right gear - spent a couple of hours working backwards with the guy at the bottom placing the guy above him's feet in the holds.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2979 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Scary shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42449 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Should've got the train mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33221 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Ever cheated death? I once compared another woman favourably to wor lass in the first couple of our years together but managed to live. Just. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausman 0 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35083 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Surprised Rob wasn't able to bore a hole into the side of the mountain with his patter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21924 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 a bit harsh but Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4725 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Surprised Rob wasn't able to bore a hole into the side of the mountain with his patter Ok Kate Hopkins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trooper 940 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) Came fairly close November 16th 2004 the day after Mrs T's birthday we went Xmas shopping in Ashington I drove there we'd just about finished at the market when I got pins and needles all down my left arm . I told Mrs T I didn't feel well within about a minute couldn't feel my left arm managed to walk a few steps then the same happened in my left leg I then wet myself and new I was in trouble . Next thing I knew there was an ambulance and I was being put in the guy asked if I had a headache just then I had an awful pain in the right side of my head. I did all I could to stay awake when I got to hospital they kept asking my name I thought I was talking properly but they couldn't understand me my face muscles had dropped. Then they were shining lights in my eyes I then passed out only to wake up 3 weeks later in Rake Lane hospital on the stroke unit it appears a blood vessel had burst on the right side of my brain causing me to be paralysed all down my left side I came home on Xmas eve because Mrs T & the kids said they wouldn't have Xmas if I wasn't there I wasn't having that anyways the doctors let me home . The outcome is I can't walk dress shower toilet etc by myself you could use a pen and draw a line from the middle of my for head down my body the left side has no feeling even my to urge no feeling on the left but feeling on the right side. I was only 45 when this happened non smoker I used to like a few beers but nothing excessive it just happened. I have a wonderful wife, kids & grandkids whom I love with all my heart they are my world. Oh and I had loads of friends and family come to see me in hospital but gradually they've all dwindled away but never mind I'm one of the lucky ones I survived to tell the tale and I'm very grateful for what I have. Edited July 15, 2015 by trooper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10857 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Came fairly close November 16th 2004 the day after Mrs T's birthday we went Xmas shopping in Ashington I drove there we'd just about finished at the market when I got pins and needles all down my left arm . I told Mrs T I didn't feel well within about a minute couldn't feel my left arm managed to walk a few steps then the same happened in my left leg I then wet myself and new I was in trouble . Next thing I knew there was an ambulance and I was being put in the guy asked if I had a headache just then I had an awful pain in the right side of my head. I did all I could to stay awake when I got to hospital they kept asking my name I thought I was talking properly but they couldn't understand me my face muscles had dropped. Then they were shining lights in my eyes I then passed out only to wake up 3 weeks later in Rake Lane hospital on the stroke unit it appears a blood vessel had burst on the right side of my brain causing me to be paralysed all down my left side I came home on Xmas eve because Mrs T & the kids said they wouldn't have Xmas if I wasn't there I wasn't having that anyways the doctors let me home . The outcome is I can't walk dress shower toilet etc by myself you could use a pen and draw a line from the middle of my for head down my body the left side has no feeling even my to urge no feeling on the left but feeling on the right side. I was only 45 when this happened non smoker I used to like a few beers but nothing excessive it just happened. I have a wonderful wife, kids & grandkids whom I love with all my heart they are my world. Oh and I had loads of friends and family come to see me in hospital but gradually they've all dwindled away but never mind I'm one of the lucky ones I survived to tell the tale and I'm very grateful for what I have. Jesus Trooper, sorry for your troubles. Glad you've a good outlook though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) Came fairly close November 16th 2004 the day after Mrs T's birthday we went Xmas shopping in Ashington I drove there we'd just about finished at the market when I got pins and needles all down my left arm . I told Mrs T I didn't feel well within about a minute couldn't feel my left arm managed to walk a few steps then the same happened in my left leg I then wet myself and new I was in trouble . Next thing I knew there was an ambulance and I was being put in the guy asked if I had a headache just then I had an awful pain in the right side of my head. I did all I could to stay awake when I got to hospital they kept asking my name I thought I was talking properly but they couldn't understand me my face muscles had dropped. Then they were shining lights in my eyes I then passed out only to wake up 3 weeks later in Rake Lane hospital on the stroke unit it appears a blood vessel had burst on the right side of my brain causing me to be paralysed all down my left side I came home on Xmas eve because Mrs T & the kids said they wouldn't have Xmas if I wasn't there I wasn't having that anyways the doctors let me home . The outcome is I can't walk dress shower toilet etc by myself you could use a pen and draw a line from the middle of my for head down my body the left side has no feeling even my to urge no feeling on the left but feeling on the right side. I was only 45 when this happened non smoker I used to like a few beers but nothing excessive it just happened. I have a wonderful wife, kids & grandkids whom I love with all my heart they are my world. Oh and I had loads of friends and family come to see me in hospital but gradually they've all dwindled away but never mind I'm one of the lucky ones I survived to tell the tale and I'm very grateful for what I have. Clearly a very brave man. I play "I'm still standing" by Elton John first thing in every morning unless wor lass is still snoring, you should too. Edited July 15, 2015 by McFaul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Well I see you have a very apt forum Monika. Well done for fighting on and making the best of things. You clearly have immense courage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Surprised Rob wasn't able to bore a hole into the side of the mountain with his patter More interesting than I imagined from him though. I was expecting something like: "got on the number 21 bus at the Central Station and it was raining, some man ran across the road, causing the bus to break and the driver beeped loudly at this bugger. I lost two crisps out of my packet with the jerk of the breaks and the sod gave the V's to the entire bus as we drove away. 1986 that if my memory is right." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42449 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Ready made Stranger Wanks, though, eh Trooper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 4251 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Came fairly close November 16th 2004 the day after Mrs T's birthday we went Xmas shopping in Ashington I drove there we'd just about finished at the market when I got pins and needles all down my left arm . I told Mrs T I didn't feel well within about a minute couldn't feel my left arm managed to walk a few steps then the same happened in my left leg I then wet myself and new I was in trouble . Next thing I knew there was an ambulance and I was being put in the guy asked if I had a headache just then I had an awful pain in the right side of my head. I did all I could to stay awake when I got to hospital they kept asking my name I thought I was talking properly but they couldn't understand me my face muscles had dropped. Then they were shining lights in my eyes I then passed out only to wake up 3 weeks later in Rake Lane hospital on the stroke unit it appears a blood vessel had burst on the right side of my brain causing me to be paralysed all down my left side I came home on Xmas eve because Mrs T & the kids said they wouldn't have Xmas if I wasn't there I wasn't having that anyways the doctors let me home . The outcome is I can't walk dress shower toilet etc by myself you could use a pen and draw a line from the middle of my for head down my body the left side has no feeling even my to urge no feeling on the left but feeling on the right side. I was only 45 when this happened non smoker I used to like a few beers but nothing excessive it just happened. I have a wonderful wife, kids & grandkids whom I love with all my heart they are my world. Oh and I had loads of friends and family come to see me in hospital but gradually they've all dwindled away but never mind I'm one of the lucky ones I survived to tell the tale and I'm very grateful for what I have. My heart goes out to you, but great outlook. My brother had similar at 30, a bleed on the brain. Massive brain damage, completely paralysed, cant talk, feed himself or go to the loo alone. It is heartbreaking to put your older brother in the lift and stand there while he uses the loo, but as far as brothers go I got lucky, I love him to bits and would do anything for him. He was a little overweight but nothing mental, went out on a friday but didn't drink otherwise, never smoked. I would urge all of you to get your blood pressure checked and seek help if necessary as this was the apparent cause. All the best trooper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trooper 940 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Ready made Stranger Wanks, though, eh Trooper? Nah mate the left arm doesn't work at all the hands all clenched up like a fist all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33221 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Came fairly close November 16th 2004 the day after Mrs T's birthday we went Xmas shopping in Ashington I drove there we'd just about finished at the market when I got pins and needles all down my left arm . I told Mrs T I didn't feel well within about a minute couldn't feel my left arm managed to walk a few steps then the same happened in my left leg I then wet myself and new I was in trouble . Next thing I knew there was an ambulance and I was being put in the guy asked if I had a headache just then I had an awful pain in the right side of my head. I did all I could to stay awake when I got to hospital they kept asking my name I thought I was talking properly but they couldn't understand me my face muscles had dropped. Then they were shining lights in my eyes I then passed out only to wake up 3 weeks later in Rake Lane hospital on the stroke unit it appears a blood vessel had burst on the right side of my brain causing me to be paralysed all down my left side I came home on Xmas eve because Mrs T & the kids said they wouldn't have Xmas if I wasn't there I wasn't having that anyways the doctors let me home . The outcome is I can't walk dress shower toilet etc by myself you could use a pen and draw a line from the middle of my for head down my body the left side has no feeling even my to urge no feeling on the left but feeling on the right side. I was only 45 when this happened non smoker I used to like a few beers but nothing excessive it just happened. I have a wonderful wife, kids & grandkids whom I love with all my heart they are my world. Oh and I had loads of friends and family come to see me in hospital but gradually they've all dwindled away but never mind I'm one of the lucky ones I survived to tell the tale and I'm very grateful for what I have. Sorry to hear about your troubles, Troops, but heartened by your outlook. Not sure I'd be the same in your shoes, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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