Christmas Tree 4916 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Not as in illness, but what's the closest shave you've had with death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43519 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I tend to use Gillettes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anorthernsoul 1221 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 (edited) I once wanked 4 times in one day, I actually came within a whisker away from ripping my cock clean off. Probably the closest I've came to death. Edited July 6, 2015 by Anorthernsoul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4062 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I reckon non illness rules I may win this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 22457 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I was knocked over by a car and lived to tell the tale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4446 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Lost control of my vr6 on a bend and ended up "parked" between 4 trees like the end of that ford advert - like a giant had picked up a car and placed it precisely. Completely unharmed and minor-ish damage to the car. No clue how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4062 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 In a cehicular incident. Ripped up both knees Snapped left femur Shattered right femur as it was forced through my hip bone. Broke my right hip bone. Broke 6 ribs Broke right clavicle Dislocated both shoulders Major whiplashinjuries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anorthernsoul 1221 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 In a cehicular incident. Ripped up both knees Snapped left femur Shattered right femur as it was forced through my hip bone. Broke my right hip bone. Broke 6 ribs Broke right clavicle Dislocated both shoulders Major whiplashinjuries Apart from that, were you OK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7302 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Fell asleep driving home in America, passenger screamed and I woke up driving down the grass verge heading towards a road sign, veered back onto the road across 3 lanes, over corrected on the way back and did a 180 ending up pointing the wrong way and inches from a rock face. Probably the scariest moment of my life. I'd imagine it was even scarier for the passenger tbf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4916 Posted July 6, 2015 Author Share Posted July 6, 2015 Apart from that, were you OK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooner 243 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 was working as a relief lift operator at Fernie Alpine Resort, just getting ready to do the end of the day sweep and help the liftee at the bottom of cedar bowl close the haul-back tbar, guy i was with stops as we were stepping into our bindings and says "hold on i forgot my cd player" goes back and gets it, we click in and head to the bottom of cedar bowl. delay took roughly 5 min. we get to the bottom and there are 3 guys talking animatedly to our liftee one poor guy looked like he may have shat his pants, we asked what was wrong they said they had to out run a massive avalanche, turns out the entire bowl slid ( roughly 400-500 meters across), had we not gone back for the cd player we would have been caught in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 (edited) 3 times to my knowledge, so 6 to go... Edited July 6, 2015 by Park Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Fell asleep driving home in America, passenger screamed and I woke up driving down the grass verge heading towards a road sign, veered back onto the road across 3 lanes, over corrected on the way back and did a 180 ending up pointing the wrong way and inches from a rock face. Probably the scariest moment of my life. I'd imagine it was even scarier for the passenger tbf Fell asleep on me motorbike.... Woke up just inches from the central reservation and just instinct correction saved me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 That puts me in mind of our own manc-mag who fell asleep at the wheel driving back from a game and only woke up when he smashed into the central reservation on the A1. Luckily he's still here to tell the tale. I've no such drama, personally. The only thing I came close to was the IRA bombing in Manchester. I'd passed through the city centre about half an hour before the bomb went off on my way to my boyfriend's house. I remember hearing some kind of explosion as I got off the bus at his place about 7 miles away but only found out what had happened when my parents finally got in touch with me after various panicked calls to the nurses home I lived in at the time. The closest and most surreal experiences I've been party to is that of my cousin in the US. She works for American Express and was based in WTC at the time of the 9/11 attacks. She was meant to be at work that day but called in absent as her husband and 3 children all had a vomiting bug. Her husband, dad and brother all worked for United Airlines, Her husband was off sick, her brother was on a training thing in Dallas and her dad was piloting a plane from Boston Logan to Tokyo and was queued up on the runway at Logan when the first plane hit and he was turned back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 4350 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I was supposed to be on the AirBlue flight that crashed into the hills in Islamabad in 2010. Had the ticket and everything. The evening before my boss says lets work late, take the late night flight out and I'll give you the next day off. I happily agreed. Such horrible emotions the next day watching all the chaos knowing somebody would have gotten in on that plane on the last minute in my place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonasjuice 0 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well I hope all you chancers have seen Final Destination. Your time will come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4446 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Being topical I was at work on the day of the July bombings. Didn't get the tube then but fucker who got the bus might have ended up at Liverpool St. It was a weird day. I remember the trains restarted at about 4 and being part of a crowd walking through the broadgate entrance in complete silence which continued on the train all the way home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4916 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well I hope all you chancers have seen Final Destination. Your time will come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46961 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Being topical I was at work on the day of the July bombings. Didn't get the tube then but fucker who got the bus might have ended up at Liverpool St. It was a weird day. I remember the trains restarted at about 4 and being part of a crowd walking through the broadgate entrance in complete silence which continued on the train all the way home. I was in London that day too. Our hotel was near one of the affected stations (Aldgate or something), but we walked to the office instead of getting the tube. To be clear, I'm not claiming this as a brush with death, I was just in the city on that day. People at head office were bricking it trying to work out where we were etc, and we ended up getting driven back to the North East cos all the transport was fucked. We were in a training course which was in a lecture Hall which was in the basement of this building so no one's phone was working, which added to the panic when they couldn't get hold of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4446 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Great example of capitalism that day as hotels gouged the fuck out of people who couldn't get home. My boss met his lass as she was in a panic and they ended up walking most of the way home to bishops stortford which is a canny distance from the city. The head cheese gave us the Friday afternoon off as a thank you for staying on the Thursday not realising there wasn't much choice. Spent it in the pub getting mortal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 22457 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I walked home from the office that day. Took over an hour. It was a surreal week, with the live 8 concert, the g8 meeting in Scotland and London winning the bid to host the 2012 Olympics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35881 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well I hope all you chancers have seen Final Destination. Your time will come. I felt like dying after about 10 minutes of watching that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I felt like dying after about 10 minutes of watching that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11054 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Came between CT and the last swiss roll in Tescos once. Counsellor thinks I've got PTSD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46961 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Can you imagine him in the canned food aisle with his metal detector. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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