The Fish 10963 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Heard on the football Ramble that you can hire ex Pros to play football with you on your stag-do From £60pp you can play football with... Clayton Blackmore, Darren Eadie, Ugo Ehiogu, Tony Daley, Paul Davis, Lee Hendrie, Tony Dorigo, David Howells, Darren Huckerby, David May, Chris Perry, Steve Sedgley, Frank Sinclair, Neil Webb, Alan Wright, Noel Whelan, David Thompson, Kenny Sansom, Kerry Dixon, Micky Hazard, Gordon Watson, Alan Smith*, Linvoy Primus, Rufus Brevett. Dietmar Hamann, Danny Murphy, Paul Merson, Ray Parlour, Matt Le Tissier, Teddy Sheringham, Clive Allen, Luther Blissett, Tony Cottee, Dion Dublin, Darren Anderton, Perry Groves, Matt Holland, Rob Lee, Jason McAteer, Pat Nevin, Chris Powell, Des Walker, Paul Walsh, Nigel Winterburn, Nigel Spackman, Mark Bright, Don Hutchison, Micky Gray, Graham Roberts, John Salako, Rob Jones, Dave Beasant. Which of those Ex Pro would you want on your stag do? You're not allowed Rob Lee, because lets be honest, that's pretty much who everyone would choose from that list. * I'm fairly certain that's ex-Arsenal Alan Smith, not Ex-MK Dons Alan Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35573 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Wouldn't pick Bobby Lee anyway as he'd never get his turn in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Wouldn't pick Bobby Lee anyway as he'd never get his turn in. Where's this come from? Is he notoriously cheap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35573 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Tighter than a bad chest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46027 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Can't remember if it was someone on here or one of my mates who saw him and Shearer in town leaving a £1.50 tip between them in a restaurant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Can't remember if it was someone on here or one of my mates who saw him and Shearer in town leaving a £1.50 tip between them in a restaurant. I never know what to tip in restaurants, but I'll generally do 10-20% depending on the restaurant & obviously the service, so maybe the service was shit and they were in the sit-down Greggs on Northumberland street? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7169 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 10% It would have to be shit hot service for me to add 20% on the bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 10% It would have to be shit hot service for me to add 20% on the bill Yeah, but if that additional 20% takes it up to a nice tidy clean round number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonasjuice 0 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Add 5% if you're trying to sleep with your dining companion. Find the more difficult ones to judge are your cheap chain places ala Nandos or Pizza Hut where you've still got a waiter but they basically just bring you your food and smile, yet they're obviously not paid a lot and rely on their tips, and food is so cheap it almost seems insulting to give 10% of £7 or something. Feels weird tipping a grown man/woman a pound for some sweeties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 31195 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Fuck tipping in Nando's, anywhere where you have to queue to order doesn't require tipping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35573 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Can't remember if it was someone on here or one of my mates who saw him and Shearer in town leaving a £1.50 tip between them in a restaurant. Shearer used to drive to the off licence in Wideopen to get his sister's 10% staff discount Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Kelly 1260 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Fuck tipping in Nando's, anywhere where you have to queue to order doesn't require tipping.Aye 100% agree with that but the price they charge for what's basically takeaway food means I wouldn't be tipping there anyway. In answer to the question, it would definitely be Micky Gray. The chance to kick that cunt up a height while pissed up on a stag do would be more than worth the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Fuck tipping in Nando's, anywhere where you have to queue to order doesn't require tipping. Yup. Only tip in posh places and only then if I've made a scene about summat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33837 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Heard on the football Ramble that you can hire ex Pros to play football with you on your stag-do From £60pp you can play football with... Clayton Blackmore, Darren Eadie, Ugo Ehiogu, Tony Daley, Paul Davis, Lee Hendrie, Tony Dorigo, David Howells, Darren Huckerby, David May, Chris Perry, Steve Sedgley, Frank Sinclair, Neil Webb, Alan Wright, Noel Whelan, David Thompson, Kenny Sansom, Kerry Dixon, Micky Hazard, Gordon Watson, Alan Smith*, Linvoy Primus, Rufus Brevett. Dietmar Hamann, Danny Murphy, Paul Merson, Ray Parlour, Matt Le Tissier, Teddy Sheringham, Clive Allen, Luther Blissett, Tony Cottee, Dion Dublin, Darren Anderton, Perry Groves, Matt Holland, Rob Lee, Jason McAteer, Pat Nevin, Chris Powell, Des Walker, Paul Walsh, Nigel Winterburn, Nigel Spackman, Mark Bright, Don Hutchison, Micky Gray, Graham Roberts, John Salako, Rob Jones, Dave Beasant. Which of those Ex Pro would you want on your stag do? You're not allowed Rob Lee, because lets be honest, that's pretty much who everyone would choose from that list. * I'm fairly certain that's ex-Arsenal Alan Smith, not Ex-MK Dons Alan Smith Jesus what a list! Rob Lee is discarded so out of that that lot I'd probably go for Nigel Winterburn just so I could relentlessly take the the piss out him by impersonating his/Parker from Thumderbirds voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17646 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Jesus what a list! Rob Lee is discarded so out of that that lot I'd probably go for Nigel Winterburn just so I could relentlessly take the the piss out him by impersonating his/Parker from Thumderbirds voice. Fuck me your right I hadn't noticed it before I played five a side v Wayne Fereday once. Couldn't get near the cunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12496 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 You have to pay Paul Merson to join in a stag do, the pissed up cunt wouldn't leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADP 0 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 You have to pay Paul Merson to join in a stag do, the pissed up cunt wouldn't leave. Merson, all day long. Two footed to the knees inside the first minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12496 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I'd get Lee Hendrie and Merson, then announce I was only going to pay them £60 for the both of them, hoy the money in between and watch them fight over it like a pair of drunk tramps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43067 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 14051 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 First I've heard of Shearer being tight but it makes sense considering it looks like he makes his MOTD shirts out of old curtains and tinfoil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33837 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I'd get Lee Hendrie and Merson, then announce I was only going to pay them £60 for the both of them, hoy the money in between and watch them fight over it like a pair of drunk tramps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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