Dr Gloom 21564 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 (edited) It is a strange, almost unwritten law, but no one shall know i've been curling one out in the workplace toilets. if that means i wait in the cubicle longer than needed until those at the urinals have departed, then fine. And by no means do i engage in any conversation with the guy using the urinal next to me either - what's that about? Most unsettling. Eyes down, horse blinkers on for me like. is that normal behaviour? just wondering... Edited January 30, 2014 by Dr Gloom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I was ashamed as a mother fucker yesterday when someone else came in the toilets and I had taken the middle of 3 urinals when all were available. Shocking form that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 When I worked in London everyone was doing drugs in the bogs, there was little room for etiquette. Golden rule if you wanted a shit do it at lunchtime when the heathens were down the pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43175 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I go to a bog at the far end of the building for my soil deposits. One that hardly anyone uses. Mostly cos it's not disgustingly filthy and you don't need to worry about the seat being warm when you sit down. Nothing worse than another man's arse warmth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Too much info there Gemma. If you hear sounds of any kind emanating from the bogs go elsewhere, even another building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21564 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 now a warm toilet seat i can put up with. seeing whose backside left the body heat is another matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 6884 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I shit when I need to shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21564 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 like a dog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10543 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Middle of the street, then he turns to his Mrs who has to pick it up in a little plastic bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41508 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Did you start this thread whilst curling one out Gloomy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21564 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Yes. Is that normal behaviour? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32114 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 When I was about 21 I had a shit once in a nightclub, (Tux2/Bliss), as my gut was going daft. Was nobody in when I went in trap 1 but in between the huge splattering noises as the bog was well and truly pebble-dashed a few lads entered the toilet. To this day I've never had a shit as vile smelling as that one and even I was nearly retching never mind the kids having a slash or going in to take drugs. I had to flush the toilet, put my hands under the taps very quickly before leaving the bogs with my head down like a sex offender leaving court whilst being called all the 'dorty bastards' going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43175 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I used to work in Bliss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15193 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I used to work in Bliss. I recall the anecdotes. "Get your! Tits out! Get your fucking tits out!" to the tune of Doop was the local speciality, if I remember rightly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41508 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 It is a strange, almost unwritten law, but no one shall know i've been curling one out in the workplace toilets. if that means i wait in the cubicle longer than needed until those at the urinals have departed, then fine. And by nouuuuuuuuuuurrrrrgggggnnnnn.... means do i engage in any conversation with the guy using the urinal next to me either - what's that about? Most unsettling. Eyes down, horse blinkers on for me like. is that normal behaviour? just wondering... Yes. Is that normal behaviour?Thought so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43175 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I recall the anecdotes. "Get your! Tits out! Get your fucking tits out!" to the tune of Doop was the local speciality, if I remember rightly? Those were the days. That little ditty still pops into my head from time to time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32114 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I used to work in Bliss. Unlucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32114 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 An old tale from a few of years ago from yours truly. Whilst being out in the Town the need came on to visit a toilet. Where to go though? Where could I go that wasn't like the Bog from Trainspotting? I have a think and Fenwicks comes to mind, thats always in good nick as they don't want to offend the middle class oldies who frequent the shop. In I go, champion. The place is spotless and empty apart from the trap next to me, oh well, can't have it all I thought. So I get on and do what I've got to do when all of a sudden a voice comes from the next trap..... "Alreet, mate?" Fucking hell! It could only happen to me, like. The only lunatic in the World to shop in Fenwicks has decided to have a shite at the same time as me. Oh well, I thought, I'll humour the nutter..... "Aye canny" I say smiling to myself and hoping thats the end of it. Not a chance as the voice pipes up...... "What ye deeing like?" I don't believe this, I'm having a conversation with some nutter on the bog. I reply a little forcefully.... "Whey y'knaa, just trying to have a QUIET shite, what about you?" I felt that that would be a big enough hint until the voice spoke again..... "Hang on, mate, I'll have to ring you back, there's some nutcase talking to me in the next toilet!!" Oops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43175 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 For 3 years. And when I graduated and handed my notice in, the manageress was put out that I wouldn't stay on and work a couple of nights a week on top of a full time day job ffs. But yeah, anyone who went from 95 to 97 would have been served by this future internet legend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41508 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 That's older than Noelie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43175 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 An old tale from a few of years ago from yours truly. Whilst being out in the Town the need came on to visit a toilet. Where to go though? Where could I go that wasn't like the Bog from Trainspotting? I have a think and Fenwicks comes to mind, thats always in good nick as they don't want to offend the middle class oldies who frequent the shop. In I go, champion. The place is spotless and empty apart from the trap next to me, oh well, can't have it all I thought. So I get on and do what I've got to do when all of a sudden a voice comes from the next trap..... "Alreet, mate?" Fucking hell! It could only happen to me, like. The only lunatic in the World to shop in Fenwicks has decided to have a shite at the same time as me. Oh well, I thought, I'll humour the nutter..... "Aye canny" I say smiling to myself and hoping thats the end of it. Not a chance as the voice pipes up...... "What ye deeing like?" I don't believe this, I'm having a conversation with some nutter on the bog. I reply a little forcefully.... "Whey y'knaa, just trying to have a QUIET shite, what about you?" I felt that that would be a big enough hint until the voice spoke again..... "Hang on, mate, I'll have to ring you back, there's some nutcase talking to me in the next toilet!!" Oops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32114 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 For 3 years. And when I graduated and handed my notice in, the manageress was put out that I wouldn't stay on and work a couple of nights a week on top of a full time day job ffs. But yeah, anyone who went from 95 to 97 would have been served by this future internet legend. Reckon 94 at the very latest for me, mate. I hope you can live with the disappointment, Gem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43175 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I just missed your request for sex on the beach! I still see people now and think I know them and eventually whittle them down to old Bliss regulars. People who were coming in at the age I am today who are knocking on fucking 60 now and I can still picture them from their glory days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32114 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I just missed your request for sex on the beach! I still see people now and think I know them and eventually whittle them down to old Bliss regulars. People who were coming in at the age I am today who are knocking on fucking 60 now and I can still picture them from their glory days. Got a few knock backs on the dance floor off me tits, mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32114 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 One lass asked my mate for a kiss under the mistletoe near Christmas in there, he said he wouldn't kiss her under anaesthetic before getting a crack in the face off the Fat Slag look-a-like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now