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Had some tweaker about an hour ago, board the transit, walk to the back, drop trough, defecate, and then not wipe. We are all still stuck here not knowing if the alternative bus is going to show or not. 

 

 

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2 hours ago, ohhh_yeah said:

 

Had some tweaker about an hour ago, board the transit, walk to the back, drop trough, defecate, and then not wipe. We are all still stuck here not knowing if the alternative bus is going to show or not. 

 

 

 

wtf GIF

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On 13/12/2024 at 09:13, The Fish said:

Just getting over an ear infection. Took 3 trips to the GP to get it properly diagnosed mind you. First time the Doctor was pretty dismissive, "I can't see anything just take some ibuprofen it'll clear up in a couple of days". 2 days without sleep due to the pain I go back, I see a different Doc who says she can see that it's an outer ear infection, she sends me off with a spray for the ear and some codeine for the pain.  2 more days without sleep I see an actual grown up Doctor and she sees bubbling on the ear drum, and the haggard look on my face, immediately writes a prescription for Co-Codaprin, Amoxicillin, no caffeine, don't get it wet, rest, hydrate, all that good shit. 

 

I've come online as much to get out of helping look after the 9 month old as it is to get some actual work done. :lol: 

 

 

Still can't hear a fucking thing out of this ear.

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3 minutes ago, The Fish said:

Still can't hear a fucking thing out of this ear.

 

I got this last year, early on in the year. Not an infection but a blocked feeling ear and muffled hearing. It took about 3 month to stop feeling blocked but I was rewarded with some permanent hearing loss and round the clock tinnitus. 

 

Hopefully you fare better. 

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Just now, Gemmill said:

 

I got this last year, early on in the year. Not an infection but a blocked feeling ear and muffled hearing. It took about 3 month to stop feeling blocked but I was rewarded with some permanent hearing loss and round the clock tinnitus. 

 

Hopefully you fare better. 

Oh, 3 month's you say? 

 

12 weeks...

 

Kms Sadfrog GIF by AMG Music Group

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  • 2 weeks later...

Alcoholism. Fallen off the wagon big time , need to get on it again. Absolutely sick of this shite. Feel mentally ashamed and physically awful. 

 

Watching a panto this afternoon on the dry heaved ain't going to be fun. 

So tempted just to have the one. Will make me feel better right? And then I will be sick again tomorrow. Why can't I drink in moderation like every other fucker? Maybe 2025 will be the year I shake this monkey from my back. I doubt it like. 

 

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21 minutes ago, Renton said:

Alcoholism. Fallen off the wagon big time , need to get on it again. Absolutely sick of this shite. Feel mentally ashamed and physically awful. 

 

Watching a panto this afternoon on the dry heaved ain't going to be fun. 

So tempted just to have the one. Will make me feel better right? And then I will be sick again tomorrow. Why can't I drink in moderation like every other fucker? Maybe 2025 will be the year I shake this monkey from my back. I doubt it like. 

 

 

It's always going to be a struggle watching the drink at this time of year, rents. I was trying not to go daft with the booze but illness has helped me out on that score. You can beat yourself up if you want and you probably will but it won't accomplish too much. Don't bother having just the one, face the music, take the hangover as payback and get a good night's kip tonight if you can? Tomorrow is another day, mate. Better if you're refreshed. 

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Aye don't have another one today, and I think it was Meenzer suggested a group last time. Look them up. This will be much easier with other people that understand what you're going through. 

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I guess I'm not fully committed to. complete abstinence yet. Sometimes I am fine. Most the time. On holidays somewhere hot I just have the odd beer and enjoy it, no problem.Normally I have nowt in the house and can have a couple of drinks with a meal, and that's it. It adds to my enjoyment But sometimes I just flip. Today I'm just hungover really, will stay off the drink without much bother. But in July I literally went on a bender for no reason, I lost 4 days out of my life and don't even know why. Can't remember it. And of course 2 years ago I ended up in hospital for a week I was so bad with it. Nearly died I was so fucked up. 

 

I know I need to stop. I don't want my kids seeing me like this. But sad as it sounds I don't have a lot of other pleasures in my life. I'm tempted just to say one day at a time. And I won't drink for a few weeks, maybe months. Then I'll be sensible. And then won't in time - in maybe 6 months or a year I self destruct and I'll hate myself. 

 

Anyway, cheers, writing this down has convinced me I need help.I can't pretend I can do this on my own anymore. I'm ill. 

 

 

Edited by Renton
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Sorry Rents, this must be rough as fuck. Keep talking about it, even if it's just on here. Don't have a drink to 'get you through' something though. You'll feel doubly bad if you do.

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3 hours ago, Renton said:

Alcoholism. Fallen off the wagon big time , need to get on it again. Absolutely sick of this shite. Feel mentally ashamed and physically awful. 

 

Watching a panto this afternoon on the dry heaved ain't going to be fun. 

So tempted just to have the one. Will make me feel better right? And then I will be sick again tomorrow. Why can't I drink in moderation like every other fucker? Maybe 2025 will be the year I shake this monkey from my back. I doubt it like. 

 

You’re doing really well. It’s not fucking easy. It’s an addiction. Just keep at it. It’s worth it because you know there’s no real alternative. I think just about everyone who tries to give up suffers relapses. It’s such a readily available drug. It doesn’t detract from how well you’ve dove so far. It’s just a reminder it’s tough. Good luck. Literally everyone on here is rooting for you and respects your honesty. 

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Wish I had better advice but as everyone else has said, being annoyed that you’ve fell short of perfection isn’t the way to go. It was always going to be a long job and you’ve done incredibly well up to now. And remember, when you’re hungover, everything seems a hundred times worse. Get yourself an early night and you’ll have a fresh perspective tomorrow, I’d bet on it 

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@Renton

 

We appreciate your openness about what you are going through. That is an important step in getting help as a lot of people are embarrassed, thinks it makes them feel less of a man, etc and therefore choose to not let their thoughts out. They don't understand that this is very detrimental to their mental well being and psyche. Before I started working in special education, I worked in a mental health hospital and our patients had an alcohol dependence or illicit substance dependence along with a mental disorder (I.e. Schizophrenia, Major Depression, etc) so  I am quite familiar with how hard it is on a daily basis.

 

Always irks me when people say, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just quit, its not that hard' Or 'Never drink to begin with and then don't have to worry about becoming addicted and/or dependent'. Ah, if only it were that simple.

 

I have never been dependent myself, but have a lot of family who have and again the aforementioned job related experience. Key will be my friend is for you to keep talking about it, talk to others who are going through the same thing, and do things that make you happy and understand you are worth more than your next drink if that makes sense.

 

We all hope you can get better in 2025 and I know some good websites and resources you can use if want to DM me.

 

Ryan

Edited by Zoidberg
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Rents mate, can only echo what the others have said. Please do take steps to ensure you have the support you need.

 

We're all right behind you in this, you'll get to the other side in the end. You're a great guy mate, keep going.

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4 hours ago, Renton said:

I guess I'm not fully committed to. complete abstinence yet. Sometimes I am fine. Most the time. On holidays somewhere hot I just have the odd beer and enjoy it, no problem.Normally I have nowt in the house and can have a couple of drinks with a meal, and that's it. It adds to my enjoyment But sometimes I just flip. Today I'm just hungover really, will stay off the drink without much bother. But in July I literally went on a bender for no reason, I lost 4 days out of my life and don't even know why. Can't remember it. And of course 2 years ago I ended up in hospital for a week I was so bad with it. Nearly died I was so fucked up. 

 

I know I need to stop. I don't want my kids seeing me like this. But sad as it sounds I don't have a lot of other pleasures in my life. I'm tempted just to say one day at a time. And I won't drink for a few weeks, maybe months. Then I'll be sensible. And then won't in time - in maybe 6 months or a year I self destruct and I'll hate myself. 

 

Anyway, cheers, writing this down has convinced me I need help.I can't pretend I can do this on my own anymore. I'm ill. 

 

 


I'm not sure if you're trying to convince us or yourself buddy, but it seems fairly clear you just need to knock it on the head permanently. Happy to share some literature with you if it helps 

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1 hour ago, Kid Dynamite said:


I'm not sure if you're trying to convince us or yourself buddy, but it seems fairly clear you just need to knock it on the head permanently. Happy to share some literature with you if it helps 

Difficult to disagree. I know how it goes. Today was a tough day. I was in places people were drinking, knowing that just one drink would cure me- for now. Resisted the temptation, felt sick all day, could hardly eat. Tomorrow will be easier. Except I'm staying in Edinburgh which is the worst place possible for the peeve.Typical.

I'll get through it though, by New year the cravings will start. Then they’ll go after 2 weeks and then the fucking boredom will kick in which is nearly as bad.

Want to sink a couple with your mates? Just soft drinks for you lad. I don't fucking care that there is a great choice nowadays, I will miss the buzz. Its not the same but logically the alternative is clearly worse. Maybe not immediately but somewhere down the line my brain will explode and I'm back on here blabbing to you guys for support. And you have all been a great support, I mean it. 

I'm writing this as therapy for myself but also hope it may help people with their own demons. I think back on my life and that first time I drank to relieve a hangover was me fucked. No going back from that moment. Please don't do this. 

So I'm in bed early dosed up on omeprazole looking forward to feeling better tomorrow and the familiar battles ahead of me. Starting with insomnia and anxiety.I hate this time of year.

 

 

 

 

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Update. Just had a amazing shit. Perfectly formed paper saver. Given the state of my guts this was some surprise I can tell you. 

Off to get the train to Edinburgh where we are seeing the botanical gardens light show. Will endeavour to stay out of bother, not easy in that city admittedly but will stick to cafes and restaurants. As AH said, new day, new start etc. My problems are minor in the grand scheme of things. So many people have it worse than me. Genuine thanks. New year resolution - go a full year without another post like these. 👍

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