Jump to content

Rancid Turds


Smooth Operator
 Share

Recommended Posts

Taking photos of other people's shit? :yes

78761[/snapback]

 

Who said it was someone elses? :P

78768[/snapback]

 

And you think that makes it any better? B)

78771[/snapback]

 

Fucking hell man, take off your sensible, computer geek head. I took a photo of a shit in a pisser. That's fucking saintly compared to what some people have confessed to in this thread.

Edited by David Icke - Son of God
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 161
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

No-one has answered my question about the newspaper thing yet.  :yes

78776[/snapback]

 

Aye your right, on the occasion I take the paper to the bog, it's usually all over in 30 seconds as for as poo release goes, then it's just waiting for the odd straggly bit to drop and by then I'm already engrossed in Paris Hilton's latest night out or who John Terry cheated on his lass again with. So in all it's at least a 20 minute job, work don't seem to be too fussed, probably don't want to start a conversation about how long it takes me to move my bowels, cowards, i'd welcome such a discussion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was at the local last night having a drink or seven when I spotted this little beauty in the urinal...

 

image0007zu.jpg

 

After seconds of umming and ahhing over whether I should risk a sneaky photo I thought of this thread and decided it must be done. Far too good of an oppurtunity to pass up :yes

78614[/snapback]

 

I was at a battle of the bands the other month at the academy in Manchester, watching a mates band. Went to the toilet wasted, had a slash and went to wash my hands. Was just about to dunk my hands in the basin when I found to my fucking eternal horror that some rancid student had taken a sit down shit in the sink!

 

You see lads pissing in sinks pretty routinely at away matches, but its a whole different ball game someone sat there on the sink taking a dump like butter wouldnt melt while people are stood next to him trying to wash their hands. What the fucks all that about. Incidentally I've quoted the pic cos my mate took a photo of it on his phone. There was bogroll in there too. He must have actually brought that out of the toilet cubicle with him in favour of shitting in the sink?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Who's David Icke?  Is it mancy?

78778[/snapback]

 

My money's on Mark...

78786[/snapback]

 

Nah too highbrow for Mark tbh.

78848[/snapback]

 

Not me either just to clarify. Just manc-mag and warrington minge registered to this computer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i've posted this story before but its a corka & its true so here we go again..

 

if i can take you back to christmas 2002 when i was a 27 yr old sexual tyranasaurus i was diagnosed with having irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after having to suffer the indignity of having what felt like a panasonic 13" lensed video camera poked up my chutny tube in the freeman hospital.

 

anyway the (IBS) would play absolute havoc with my motions, 1 day my stools would resemble picnic bars & the next red-hot peanut butter..

belive me, wen u had to go u had to fuckin go..

 

so at the begining of december i got lucky with some random heavy lass from low fell while out on a saturday night doon buffalo joe's (quayside).. i took her mobile number the following morning & left expecting never to see the fat cunt again.. how wrong i was..!

 

a week before christmas & it was time for our annual works night out, my best mate at graft lives in low fell & i somehow ended up back in his flat at about 1am, after having a smoke it suddenly struck me that "shirley crabtree" who i'd earlier "surfed" only lived around the corner.

 

out came the mobile & after a very breif conversation i found myself naked in "embergs" bedroom with her sitting on top of me almost smothercating me with her mounds of flab..

after an hour or so of riding, down she went to play a sweet tune on my purple headed flute when all of a sudden i felt a rocket from the crypt in the anal department.!

 

i muttered the immortal words "oot the road flower, the damn walls are gonna blow" .. i made my way to the shithoose to see mr & mrs brown off to the coast before returning to finish wot me & "andy fordham" had begun..

 

after blowing my beans all over "mcmanus's" tits we both rolled over & fell into a deep sleep........ 6am & i wake up......jesus christ.!! either the IBS has made a silent protest in the dead of the night or this fat twat has had a shit inside my undercrackers for a laugh..!!

 

i quitely got up, cleaned myself down in the bathroom, got dressed & made a sharp exit, in the past wen i've took a bird home i normally hang around in the morning hoping for a "dawn strike" & a bit breakfast, but not this time..

bought myself a toblerone at the post office then jumped on a bus to warsick street..!!

 

i then deleted "rik waller's" number & have never seen her to this day which i'm glad about.. i mean how would i explain leaving her bed covered in shite?

 

i'm sure you'll all be glad to know that the IBS has now passed, leaving my rusty button as tight as a balloon knot!!

 

 

HAPPY DAYS :yes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i've posted this story before but its a corka & its true so here we go again..

 

if i can take you back to christmas 2002 when i was a 27 yr old sexual tyranasaurus i was diagnosed with having irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after having to suffer the indignity of having what felt like a panasonic 13" lensed video camera poked up my chutny tube in the freeman hospital.

 

anyway the (IBS) would play absolute havoc with my motions, 1 day my stools would resemble picnic bars & the next red-hot peanut butter..

belive me, wen u had to go u had to fuckin go..

 

so at the begining of december i got lucky with some random heavy lass from low fell while out on a saturday night doon buffalo joe's (quayside).. i took her mobile number the following morning & left expecting never to see the fat cunt again.. how wrong i was..!

 

a week before christmas & it was time for our annual works night out, my best mate at graft lives in low fell & i somehow ended up back in his flat at about 1am, after having a smoke it suddenly struck me that "shirley crabtree" who i'd earlier "surfed" only lived around the corner.

 

out came the mobile & after a very breif conversation i found myself naked in "embergs" bedroom with her sitting on top of me almost smothercating me with her mounds of flab..

after an hour or so of riding, down she went to play a sweet tune on my purple headed flute when all of a sudden i felt a rocket from the crypt in the anal department.!

 

i muttered the immortal words "oot the road flower, the damn walls are gonna blow" .. i made my way to the shithoose to see mr & mrs brown off to the coast before returning to finish wot me & "andy fordham" had begun..

 

after blowing my beans all over "mcmanus's" tits we both rolled over & fell into a deep sleep........ 6am & i wake up......jesus christ.!!  either the IBS has made a silent protest in the dead of the night or this fat twat has had a shit inside my undercrackers for a laugh..!!

 

i quitely got up, cleaned myself down in the bathroom, got dressed & made a sharp exit, in the past wen i've took a bird home i normally hang around in the morning hoping for a "dawn strike" & a bit breakfast, but not this time..

bought myself a toblerone at the post office then jumped on a bus to warsick street..!!

 

i then deleted "rik waller's" number & have never seen her to this day which i'm glad about.. i mean how would i explain leaving her bed covered in shite?

 

i'm sure you'll all be glad to know that the IBS has now passed, leaving my rusty button as tight as a balloon knot!!

 

 

HAPPY DAYS    :yes

79144[/snapback]

You've the nickname 'Spud' haven't you?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i've posted this story before but its a corka & its true so here we go again..

 

if i can take you back to christmas 2002 when i was a 27 yr old sexual tyranasaurus i was diagnosed with having irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after having to suffer the indignity of having what felt like a panasonic 13" lensed video camera poked up my chutny tube in the freeman hospital.

 

anyway the (IBS) would play absolute havoc with my motions, 1 day my stools would resemble picnic bars & the next red-hot peanut butter..

belive me, wen u had to go u had to fuckin go..

 

so at the begining of december i got lucky with some random heavy lass from low fell while out on a saturday night doon buffalo joe's (quayside).. i took her mobile number the following morning & left expecting never to see the fat cunt again.. how wrong i was..!

 

a week before christmas & it was time for our annual works night out, my best mate at graft lives in low fell & i somehow ended up back in his flat at about 1am, after having a smoke it suddenly struck me that "shirley crabtree" who i'd earlier "surfed" only lived around the corner.

 

out came the mobile & after a very breif conversation i found myself naked in "embergs" bedroom with her sitting on top of me almost smothercating me with her mounds of flab..

after an hour or so of riding, down she went to play a sweet tune on my purple headed flute when all of a sudden i felt a rocket from the crypt in the anal department.!

 

i muttered the immortal words "oot the road flower, the damn walls are gonna blow" .. i made my way to the shithoose to see mr & mrs brown off to the coast before returning to finish wot me & "andy fordham" had begun..

 

after blowing my beans all over "mcmanus's" tits we both rolled over & fell into a deep sleep........ 6am & i wake up......jesus christ.!!  either the IBS has made a silent protest in the dead of the night or this fat twat has had a shit inside my undercrackers for a laugh..!!

 

i quitely got up, cleaned myself down in the bathroom, got dressed & made a sharp exit, in the past wen i've took a bird home i normally hang around in the morning hoping for a "dawn strike" & a bit breakfast, but not this time..

bought myself a toblerone at the post office then jumped on a bus to warsick street..!!

 

i then deleted "rik waller's" number & have never seen her to this day which i'm glad about.. i mean how would i explain leaving her bed covered in shite?

 

i'm sure you'll all be glad to know that the IBS has now passed, leaving my rusty button as tight as a balloon knot!!

 

 

HAPPY DAYS    :yes

79144[/snapback]

 

 

Wow, so you had Michelle McManus, Andy Fordham, Rik Waller aswell as Shirley Crabtree? You don't half get around.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.