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Mike Ashley -- Irrelevant Cunt


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Is this the same Trooper from Newcastle-Online who called me a wind up merchant?

 

Shirly not....

Are you taking some kind of stupid drugs because i haven't a clue what your talking about.

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Mike Ashley has done some pretty diabolical things as Newcastle United owner, but the most depressing has been to turn a football club that almost every fan in the country had a soft spot for into one that most neutrals would like to be relegated.

That is a tragedy for English football. Ashley has not only sucked the joy out of supporting the team, he has also drained it of its mass appeal. Newcastle are no longer a credit to the Premier League, they are an embarrassment to a competition that prides itself of being the most exciting, bold and unpredictable.

 

Newcastle are the antithesis of excitement. They have become a bland football club run by bean counters.

If people really do want Newcastle to be relegated, it is because they want Ashley to be punished for what he has done. Unfortunately, it will be the supporters who suffer the most. It will be the innocent minions who lose their job to cut costs in the Championship.

Ashley will be hurt by relegation and he may well officially put the club up for sale again, but as a billionaire with other interests, he is largely immune.

 

Even if he is forced to bankroll the club in the Championship, he will do so in the form of interest free loans, which remain on the clubs books indefinitely and will have to be repaid at some point.

That, though, is of little concern to those who do not have an emotional attachment. To those outside, relegation will be seen as a fitting punishment for Ashley and his cohorts.

 

You may mock the daft Geordies and I know many of you reading this will. You will scoff at their supposedly high expectation levels and smirk at their ridiculous loyalty to a team that never wins anything.

Most of you will have taken some pleasure from a Newcastle meltdown in the past, but the sad thing is, all the Magpies provoke now is boredom, weariness and, I suspect, some sadness too.

 

Ive even heard a Sunderland fan tell a Newcastle one after a fifth successive derby defeat that its a disgrace what Ashley has done to your football club. Of all the things Ive read and heard about Newcastles decline, those 11 words echo in my mind the most. Even Newcastles bitterest rivals recognise the damage that has been done.

Newcastle have never been a successful big club, but they have always been admired, not just because of the loyalty and passion of their largesupport, but for the way they went about things.

It was a proper football club. Self-destructive, perhaps, prone to emotional meltdowns and always likely to implode when the pressure was on in the pursuit of silverware, but they always generated excitement.

 

When Newcastle rolled into town, they fired up atmospheres inside normally bland arenas. They filled away sections with colour, noise and gallows humour and the locals responded to their noise with their own. When Newcastle fans travel now they are shorn of hope and are more concerned with protesting against Ashley than supporting the team. Divided and depressed.

Newcastle used to earn respect because they had a go. They were fascinating. They were a team that other fans, albeit begrudgingly, liked to watch. They played football in a manner that suggested they would always much rather attack than defend.

If the truth be told, they were often a source of amusement, but there was always affection there, a recognition English football would be a lot duller without them.

 

Newcastle, though, have gone from affectionate figure of fun to a club that people would like to see suffer.

I do not say that with any pleasure, pride or satisfaction. I write it with a heavy heart, but what is the point of Newcastle under Ashley? That gripe has extended way beyond Tyneside.

They bring little to the Premier League table. They are, at best, a solid mid-table club that does not try in cup competitions. They are a club that exists for foreign players to use as a shop window.

 

For the second season running, the team have spent the second half of the campaign looking like manikins for a dubious internet loan company playing in front of billboards for a scruffy high street sport shop.

Newcastle dont add anything special anymore. They do not help sell global television rights. They do not even make domestic ones appealing. What is the point of a football club that exists merely to promote other business interests?

The Premier League is big business but, fundamentally, it remains a sport in which the glory comes from winning things and the enjoyment comes from trying to pursue that glory. Football is meant to be fun, not a monotonous annual procession towards a mid-table finish.

 

Newcastle are a business where predictable outcomes ensure stable cash flows. Ashley has made that more important than sporting adventure. They have become tedious to watch and are in danger of becoming a toxic football brand, which could poison others.

A quick glance at the list of remaining relegation candidates suggests the following: Leicester City deserve to stay up because they have been brilliant when they needed to be.

Sunderland are not the most glamorous club and they always seem to be in this position at this stage of the season, but at least they try to be more than that.

Hull City have their problems. They also have an unpopular owner who refuses to listen to the concerns of the supporters over his proposed name change. They have been poor for long periods of the campaign and are geographically difficult to get to, but Steve Bruce is a popular figure and, again, they have tried to do more than they have achieved.

The point is, Newcastle have not tried and if you do not try you deserve to fail. It would be awful for proud supporters to suffer a second relegation in just six years, but even they do not like their football club at the moment because of the man who runs it.

 

 

::Luke Edwards::

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The makings of Mako incoming. A gritty tale of an abandoned child and his quest to gain the great sword, 'Validation', on the Into Webs.

His first words .......

 

" That's not how I would've done it, Da Da."

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Long and boring. Punctuated by brief moments of sheer horror. Essembee cowers in a ditch to afraid to come off his line and cut down the angles. Covered in his own shit Essembee gets up and runs. Home. The robbers win this day my friend. But the cops will rise again.

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Leazes remembers the big babies on Toontastic who stalked him that's what Leazes remembers. And pants. He remembers, most the time, to put on pants.

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I heard this claim made the other day, but I very much doubt most neutrals out there are hoping we go down out of boredom/jealousy/schadenfreude. Those that do are probably the most ignorant of our situation - you can't call yourself a genuine or remotely knowledgeable football fan and not be horrified at what Ashley has turned this club into.

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Fifth defeat in a row for Pardew if Liverpool don't fuck up Gerrard's last home game for this season.

 

Funny how no one is talking about that, isn't it? Unlike when he was winning when it was all anyone was reporting on.

Edited by Rayvin
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Fifth defeat in a row for Pardew if Liverpool don't fuck up Gerrard's last home game for this season.

 

Pardew has found his feet remarkably quickly tbh. I thought he'd at least get to next season before the whole dressing room figured out he's a fuckwit and stopped trying.

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Pardew has found his feet remarkably quickly tbh. I thought he'd at least get to next season before the whole dressing room figured out he's a fuckwit and stopped trying.

:lol: Aye he's done very well to finally put his stamp on the team, Palace fans can now look forward to this until next November where he'll win a few in a row, enjoy it boys you fully fucking deserve it :closedeyes:

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  • Andrew changed the title to Mike Ashley -- Irrelevant Cunt

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