Mike Ashley -- Irrelevant Cunt

[OTF 7295]

There has been a solid decade of piss-taking happening by the top bollocks at this football club. I'd say getting sick of it is a more logical response than turning up every week and hoping that, this summer, we just MIGHT put it all together and rocket up the league.

 

I'm in the latter btw but that's because I'm thick.

Players committed to each other and the team, a manager who favors getting the best of our players over Allardycing the game. If we have that the results will be good enough and there should be a fair share of highly entertaining games. That's enough for me.

[The Fish 10849]

Can't wait to be the Newcastle Zeebras.

I'd take playing in a jersey, and cheerleaders if it meant that fat cunt was gone from my club.

[OTF 7295]

I'd take playing in a jersey, and cheerleaders if it meant that fat cunt was gone from my club.

Don't know how our players would react to playing soccer and having to wear cleats though.

[Gemmill 44805]

That's it. With or without Newcastle United the competition is 'broken'. With or without Ashley Newcastle United is a football club because of the supporters. If you choose to not watch because the competition is fundamentally flawed or because of a rightful distaste for Ashley then you're really only hurting yourself. But if you can't summon up the anticipation before a match or the optimistic enthusiasm when the whistle sounds then you're probably just not interested. That's fair enough, but in reality I'd say that has more to do with yourself than it does the state of the club or the league, so you're really not hurting yourself.

Fucking right I'm not interested. And with very good reason.

[OTF 7295]

Fucking right I'm not interested. And with very good reason.

True of football in total or just Newcastle? Guess I'm questioning causation of your lack of interest.

[The Fish 10849]

Don't know how our players would react to playing soccer and having to wear cleats though.

How they would react?

 

Something like this I reckon

[OTF 7295]

Jonas would clearly be the best at that reaction.

[Gemmill 44805]

Like I say the sport is broken. Every football story in the papers is about some dickhead who wants more money, a manager trying to unsettle a player or an agent trying to secure a big payday for himself and his client. It's all about money.

 

The game itself is a sideshow played by multi millionaire dickheads , kissing the badge one minute and texting their agent about their next big move the next.

 

It's stranger to me that people can still take an interest in it tbh. Losing interest seems to me to be the natural response.

 

World cups in fucking Qatar as well. Just fuck off.

 

Edited August 17, 2013 by Gemmill

[OTF 7295]

Fair points all of them. I'd counter that the sport itself isn't broken, but the capitalism of it is.

 

Once the game kicks off it's 11 on 11 and generally the competitive spirit of the players will have them doing near enough their best resulting in what is an entertaining technical sport with plenty of talking points.

[Howmanheyman 33129]

An interesting piece from Michael Martin of TF.

http://www.true-faith.co.uk/?p=1363

Does it tell us anything new or that we didn't suspect? Does any of our more financially inclined posters have an alternative point of view. If true that he's getting his loan back would it be a price worth paying to get shot of him? If he got his money back might he think, 'no rush to sell, this is an earner?'

 

 

 

 

 

I’m often appalled by the lack of financial analysis from those reporting upon Newcastle KinnearFlagUnited and whilst I don’t expect football journalists to be chartered accountants or financial experts, they should have it within their gift to get a set of accounts analysed by an expert and come to some conclusions about what is happening at our club. What’s that old saying? Follow The Money?

In recent years the most spectacular dereliction of responsibility when it comes to scrutinising the football business was in Glasgow where the scandal unfolding at Ibrox wasn’t identified by the full time, well-resourced and trained Scottish media but by a fan writing a Blog, the Rangers Tax Case. For anyone following the Rangers farrago it became essential reading but you have to ask the question, why the local media could not apply themselves to this as opposed to an unpaid football supporter? It really makes a mockery of claims the local press often makes about holding local institutions to account. Anyway, it was ever thus!

In our usual cock-eyed fashion, this gobshite fanzine has managed to draw some conclusions from the Newcastle United accounts over the last few years and with the usual Government Health Warnings attached to them, this is what we think is happening: Ashley is prioritising the reduction of his loan over investment in our club. Club money is being paid to Ashley and the debt is being reduced. Lack of investment in the first team squad is also mirrored in continued redundancies at United (Ian Horrocks, the official photographer for the last eighteen years was dismissed in the summer for example), as well as club merchandise now being kept in Sports Direct premises in Nottinghamshire after the club dispensed with its previous warehouse on the Team Valley in Gateshead. Costs are cut to the bone and it is a fair description the club is being run on a shoe-string.

One of our readers kindly used their skills as a Chartered Accountant to give this following analysis:

I’ve attached the latest accounts (June 2012). These are available from Companies House so available to the public and I’m not breaking any confidentiality issues.

NUFCAcctsJune13

He (Ashley) hasn’t taken any dividends or salary but if you look at page 24, Note 14, Ashley’s loan to the club was £140m at the end of the previous year (June 2011) but only £129m at 30 June 2012, so he took £11m back during the year to 30 June 2012. This is money that he’s loaned the club, so he’s entitled to take it back as the club owes him this money but is it taking it to the detriment of the playing squad? Does he really need this money?

In addition, it looks like the accountants have split the £129m out into £111m due more than 12 months and £18m due within twelve months. Whilst this is no guarantee that he will have taken £18m of his loan back in the year to 30 June 2013, it’s highly probable given he took £11m in the previous year and it “is secured on future broadcasting income and due for repayment within one year.” In my view, he has said Sky are paying the club this cash, I want some cash back from my loan. Again, he’s entitled to do this, the club owes him this money but does he need this and clearly he’s decided not to invest in the playing staff.

Whether he’s took or not for definite, we’ll see when the June 2013 accounts are published and it may be that the January 2013 expenditure on players meant that the club didn’t have the cash to pay him the £18m back in whole or part.

The Year to 30 June 2014 accounts should be very interesting given the very public knowledge of the increase in the Sky money and the lack of expenditure by the club in recent months.

Also, interesting on page 27 – Note 22 – advertising and promotional services were provided to companies associated with Ashley (SD?!). No consideration paid. So we are just a free advertisement for SD!

A call into the club by David Conn of The Guardian last week drew the reply that the £18m as detailed above had not gone out of the club. That can be achieved pretty quickly by pressing a few buttons so I’d be keen to revisit that over the next few weeks to see what’s happening there. It is Ashley’s plan to take out £18m – it says so in the books.

In my opinion you can take statements from the local press that there is “definitely” £20m to spend with a liberal dose of salt whilst Alan Pardew’s claim that the club does not sell to buy is risible and can be filed alongside “Andy Carroll is not for sale”. Pardew’s position at the club becomes more pathetic with each passing week.

Our man as above asks the question, does Ashley need the money back now? I’d say with his businesses reporting huge profits and pretty much dominating what remains of the post-2008 High Street, the answer to that question is definitely no. However, Ashley has no interest in Newcastle United beyond keeping us in the PL and on the broadcasting gravy train. There is no strategy for success and when the manager speaks of Newcastle United’s financial inferiority to Norwich, Swansea and Southampton I think you can pretty much see what is going on with Mike Ashley. I’ve been accused of negativity by some fellow Mags but my response is to question their grasp of the facts. I cannot have been the only one to recognise Ashley only becoming involved in transfer business this close season when it has come to selling Yohan Cabaye and I’d guess moving Kinnear out of the picture while he does the grown-up’s work.

On another point, Ashley’s company Sports Direct pays absolutely zip for the advertising that is plastered all over SJP but our research suggests that level of exposure in the most watched domestic league in the world is worth around £8m p.a.. That is revenue completely lost to the club but which is a massive asset to Mike Ashley and Sports Direct. We shouldn’t be surprised were we to learn Ashley is paid personally for this advertising.

There is a view I detect amongst supporters that when Ashley has recovered a certain amount of the loan, he’ll sell up for a decent price and we can start again. That’s something I think we want to happen but there is no guarantee of it and he holds all the cards. He could continue to rake money off Newcastle United forever and a day. We just don’t know.

What I do know is Newcastle United will never be successful with Mike Ashley at the helm of our club. He’s just not interested and that is abundantly clear from what is happening with the finances and his rare appearances at games. He just isn’t arsed, though if rumours I hear are correct he cares about as much for us as we do for him.

*

And from our current owner to our previous Chairman, Sir John Hall, would-be Father of the North and man of the people! I can’t have been alone in seeing pictures of this massive phony standing outside St James’ Park with a collection of dupes and shaking my head at the sheer, brazen hypocrisy of it all. The St James’ Park gates were established on Barrack Road in the mid-to-late 1980s by none other than Gordon McKeag’s board. They were ripped down by Sir John Hall’s board in the mid-90s and left in a field on Hall’s land at Woolsington Hall Farm under six foot of nettles for over a decade and more. By rough estimate Hall and Shepherd took at a conservative estimate £140m out of United over their time hogging the Barrack Road trough. Hall received £70m alone for his shares when he mugged Ashley into buying the club in 2007. At any time over the last twelve years Hall could have had those gates restored and fitted at SJP without blinking an eye. It was loose change for him. Instead we have the grotesque PR stunt for Wonga in returning the gates to a peculiar spot opening onto a brick wall (surely that’s a metaphor for our club – I wish I was clever enough to work out what it is) with Hall & Co. posing for photos as though they have returned the lost ark of the covenant and a fresh faced cherub (resplendent in the awful new Wonga sponsored shirt) smiling for the photos. It is fucking nauseous. Whatever happened to the real St James’ Park gates that Hall’s board took down at the Gallowgate End on Strawberry Place? I wonder what field Hall has them stashed in waiting for a publicity stunt to get them pinned up somewhere at SJP.

 

 

 

 

[TheMoog 0]

So this is going to be the week when Mike Ashley can rightly say he is getting the hang of this football lark.

 

European ties against the likes of Benfica in April

A transfer / wage system that works

A squad that just keeps getting better

Great season ticket deals for fans

And a profit making football club

 

And all this before the the big bucks TV money rolls in.

 

Of course it hasn't been delivered without pain, but few revolutions are smooth.

 

We will rightly hear all sorts of praise for dynamic duo this week and once again our club will be heralded as the blue print for most clubs to follow.

 

So where now? What about the next few years? How can we as a club take advantage of this solid foundation and become a regular top four challenger?

 

Lol

[Kid Dynamite 7025]

Good old CT

[Tom 14011]

[Howmanheyman 33129]

Christmas Tree, on 26 Mar 2013 - 10:29 AM, said:

So this is going to be the week when Mike Ashley can rightly say he is getting the hang of this football lark.

European ties against the likes of Benfica in April
A transfer / wage system that works
A squad that just keeps getting better
Great season ticket deals for fans
And a profit making football club

And all this before the the big bucks TV money rolls in.

Of course it hasn't been delivered without pain, but few revolutions are smooth.

We will rightly hear all sorts of praise for dynamic duo this week and once again our club will be heralded as the blue print for most clubs to follow.

So where now? What about the next few years? How can we as a club take advantage of this solid foundation and become a regular top four challenger?

Hang on, just away to have a word with CT.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CT: "Hello, HMHM, what you doing round hereeeeeee-arrrrghhhh!"

 

 

 

Edited August 26, 2013 by Howmanheyman

[Tooj 17]

The thread title.

[Dr Gloom 21912]

Thread title change to football chump after the last two summer transfer windows?

[Andrew 4747]

Nope. It can remain forever as a testament to CTs knowledge and foresight

[toonotl 2977]

Nothing embodies that Mark Twain quote about idiots keeping their mouths shut lest they confirm their idiocy more than poor ol' CT.

 

I think its a taxi driver thing. They are somehow duty bound to know nothing about anything they choose to talk about. A paradox of unending hilarity.

[aimaad22 4156]

[Tom 14011]

Nope. It can remain forever as a testament to CTs knowledge and foresight

 

Yes, yes it can.

[LooneyToony 41]

What's happened to you Englishmen? Back in the day if you thought someone was a thief, or wronged the community in some way, you would chop their heads off in the public square. Now look at you all with all your words on virtual paper. Disgusting.

[The Fish 10849]

What's happened to you Englishmen? Back in the day if you thought someone was a thief, or wronged the community in some way, you would chop their heads off in the public square. Now look at you all with all your words on virtual paper. Disgusting.

 

Where are you from?

[Monkeys Fist 42379]

 

Where are you from?

Ask him to pronounce "Aluminium"

[Howmanheyman 33129]

 

Where are you from?

Singapore.

[Monkeys Fist 42379]

Moose fucker, ay, just checked.