Siem De Jong

[Howmanheyman 33094]

5 hours ago, ohhh_yeah said:

 

de Jong retiring. The boots have been hung up.

 

 

 

The streets don't forget....

 

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half.

 

19/03/2015

 

Well diary, sometimes these so-called superstar footballers get a bit too big for their expensively sponsored boots, sometimes they get a bad press for being millionaire playboys who smoke cigars lighted by twenty pound notes. Sometimes. But today ah had the great pleasure of seeing Toon legends giving something back to the community when ah saw Coach Carvs, El Capo Colo and Jonas visiting some sick patients at the Royal Victoria Infirmary. Abouts ten bells this morning me phone rang and when ah picked it up it was me old mate, Cockeyed Mala on the other end. "How, Lee!" He said, "Guess who ah've just seen coming doon the ward?" Mala was a hospital porter in the RVI and ah first of all started to think that someone we knew must have been in a accident when he blurted out that the new head coach of the cathedral on the hill and his two Argie superstars were walking past him. Quicker than a Sir Bobby Robson anecdote from Coach Carver, ah was rund there like a shot. Ah followed the directions Mala gave iz and just hoped he hadn't got the 6 and 9 mixed up with his questionable vision and before long ended up on ward 69. Right enough there at the end of the ward was the three NUFC legends doing their bit to bring joy to ordinary punters who were in hospital and feeling very poorly. Ah'd already grabbed a Doctor's white coat and steffas, stephers, err, hearing thingy to put rund me neck as ah went past a cloak room and put me false glasses on and pretended to look at the patients details whilst secretly recording their encouraging craic to the poor cunt in the bed. Carvs started talking first, he gans, "Hey, chin up kidda Ah've brought Jonas and Colo to see you! Are you keeping well? You look really good!" Our coach politely lied to the poor looking wretch in the bed. The lad wanly smiled back but looked proper fucked, like. Jonas then piped up, "Hey, amigo, I beat thees cajones cancer, you can get better too! You must believe!" Again the skeletal patient smiled and slowly but painfully lifted his thump up to the Toon's super Spiderman hero. Next up our stupidly banned Argentinian Capitano decided to lead by example and said, "You get a bit better and you shall play with us on the saint Jaimies peetch." Ah'm a hard hearted reporter at times but ah nearly welled up at Colo promising the lad a run out with the team if he got better which was a lovely touch but as ah looked at the kid ah wondered how long he had left as he looked in a bad way. The lad took off his oxygen mask and whispered, "For shure, I feel like am getting better by the day, already I can breathe without it hurting." Ah thought he must be an asylum seeker as he didn't sound Geordie to me. Colo then said, "I heard Senor Charnally say that you would be like a new signing!" Carvs then jumped in, "Aye, that's right, Siem, Ah've been told by Lee Charnley to let the press know that you'll be a great lift to the team when you finally get fit again. A new signing is EXACTLY what you'll be like, bonny lad!" Siem!!! Fuck me! Ah looked at the kid then had a proper look at his hospital papers on the clip board ah was holding. Right enough, there it was at the top, his name, one Siem De Jong, once of Ajax of Amsterdam, now of the Royal Victoria Infirmary's first eleven! Ah got back to Thomson House HQ and then wrote up a report of Siem saying he was back in training and raring to go and reckoned he'd play again before the season finished! It was fantastic news for the Toon Army and ma loyal readers who, as always, got it straight from their main man, the trinity mirror group regional sports writer of the year, Lee Ryder esq. If it's about NUFC, Ryders got it covered! Lol. Laters.

[RobinRobin 11255]

5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

The streets don't forget....

 

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half.

 

19/03/2015

 

Well diary, sometimes these so-called superstar footballers get a bit too big for their expensively sponsored boots, sometimes they get a bad press for being millionaire playboys who smoke cigars lighted by twenty pound notes. Sometimes. But today ah had the great pleasure of seeing Toon legends giving something back to the community when ah saw Coach Carvs, El Capo Colo and Jonas visiting some sick patients at the Royal Victoria Infirmary. Abouts ten bells this morning me phone rang and when ah picked it up it was me old mate, Cockeyed Mala on the other end. "How, Lee!" He said, "Guess who ah've just seen coming doon the ward?" Mala was a hospital porter in the RVI and ah first of all started to think that someone we knew must have been in a accident when he blurted out that the new head coach of the cathedral on the hill and his two Argie superstars were walking past him. Quicker than a Sir Bobby Robson anecdote from Coach Carver, ah was rund there like a shot. Ah followed the directions Mala gave iz and just hoped he hadn't got the 6 and 9 mixed up with his questionable vision and before long ended up on ward 69. Right enough there at the end of the ward was the three NUFC legends doing their bit to bring joy to ordinary punters who were in hospital and feeling very poorly. Ah'd already grabbed a Doctor's white coat and steffas, stephers, err, hearing thingy to put rund me neck as ah went past a cloak room and put me false glasses on and pretended to look at the patients details whilst secretly recording their encouraging craic to the poor cunt in the bed. Carvs started talking first, he gans, "Hey, chin up kidda Ah've brought Jonas and Colo to see you! Are you keeping well? You look really good!" Our coach politely lied to the poor looking wretch in the bed. The lad wanly smiled back but looked proper fucked, like. Jonas then piped up, "Hey, amigo, I beat thees cajones cancer, you can get better too! You must believe!" Again the skeletal patient smiled and slowly but painfully lifted his thump up to the Toon's super Spiderman hero. Next up our stupidly banned Argentinian Capitano decided to lead by example and said, "You get a bit better and you shall play with us on the saint Jaimies peetch." Ah'm a hard hearted reporter at times but ah nearly welled up at Colo promising the lad a run out with the team if he got better which was a lovely touch but as ah looked at the kid ah wondered how long he had left as he looked in a bad way. The lad took off his oxygen mask and whispered, "For shure, I feel like am getting better by the day, already I can breathe without it hurting." Ah thought he must be an asylum seeker as he didn't sound Geordie to me. Colo then said, "I heard Senor Charnally say that you would be like a new signing!" Carvs then jumped in, "Aye, that's right, Siem, Ah've been told by Lee Charnley to let the press know that you'll be a great lift to the team when you finally get fit again. A new signing is EXACTLY what you'll be like, bonny lad!" Siem!!! Fuck me! Ah looked at the kid then had a proper look at his hospital papers on the clip board ah was holding. Right enough, there it was at the top, his name, one Siem De Jong, once of Ajax of Amsterdam, now of the Royal Victoria Infirmary's first eleven! Ah got back to Thomson House HQ and then wrote up a report of Siem saying he was back in training and raring to go and reckoned he'd play again before the season finished! It was fantastic news for the Toon Army and ma loyal readers who, as always, got it straight from their main man, the trinity mirror group regional sports writer of the year, Lee Ryder esq. If it's about NUFC, Ryders got it covered! Lol. Laters.