luckyluke 2 Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 Happy new year one and all. Saw it in watching the fireworks over the Thames from Lambeth bridge, then big roast dinner today and a walk on the Heath. Great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4510 Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 No wind up, probably just a dream. I was meaning it was me ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4510 Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 In keeping with the great tradition of sitcom domestic disasters at Christmas, got in from the mother in law's earlier to find we have a "power shower" in the kitchen- water pissing out of the light and ceiling. Fibre seal on the cistern pipe had gone in the bathroom/swimming pool whilst we were out. Changed it now and fixed the leak, just have to wait for the ceiling to dry out and see what damage has been done. Fuck my life I 'll take your flood and raise you a flood and a shart! Today I was into my fourth double shift. Got to about 3.30 and I was knackered so decided to call it a day, radox bath and chill. Settled two minutes into the bath, Sopranos on the lap top when wife screams, "get out of the bath, get out of the bath". Turned out a waterfall was coming out of the ceiling. Turned out to be a loose fitting overflow on the bath. That was followed by a bout of the shits. Next, the little lad was causing havoc and the older daughter and wife were arguing so I thought fuck this, back to work. Turned out to be a great idea as this evening was busy than last night. However the shits were bubbling away and I was doing my very best to hold everything in. So good that I forgot! Returning from dropping a fayre off in Sunderland, I pulled into the greyhound stadium for a slash. As I relaxed to piss, out popped a fart, or so I thought I instantly realised my situation and my night was over. 30 minutes off bog time later (I know, sorry), my arse is now stinging and I am managing my breathing. Better fuck off before the match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4510 Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 The night before last my oldest daughter got a lift in Happy Faces dads taxi. I said to her.... "you know who his son is........Happy Face". She kept saying things like Dont be stupid, it cant be etc... I said why......... She said, Because Happy Face is a girl!!!!! WTF After several moments of laughter, she then said, JawD's a girl though? Im not sure if this is down to her inherited stupidity or the fact that you two are so pleasant (unlike most of the back stabbing snakes on here ), that she assumed it was feminine kindness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41475 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 The night before last my oldest daughter got a lift in Happy Faces dads taxi. I said to her.... "you know who his son is........Happy Face". She kept saying things like Dont be stupid, it cant be etc... I said why......... She said, Because Happy Face is a girl!!!!! WTF After several moments of laughter, she then said, JawD's a girl though? Im not sure if this is down to her inherited stupidity or the fact that you two are so pleasant (unlike most of the back stabbing snakes on here ), that she assumed it was feminine kindness I 'll take your flood and raise you a flood and a shart! Today I was into my fourth double shift. Got to about 3.30 and I was knackered so decided to call it a day, radox bath and chill. Settled two minutes into the bath, Sopranos on the lap top when wife screams, "get out of the bath, get out of the bath". Turned out a waterfall was coming out of the ceiling. Turned out to be a loose fitting overflow on the bath. That was followed by a bout of the shits. Next, the little lad was causing havoc and the older daughter and wife were arguing so I thought fuck this, back to work. Turned out to be a great idea as this evening was busy than last night. However the shits were bubbling away and I was doing my very best to hold everything in. So good that I forgot! Returning from dropping a fayre off in Sunderland, I pulled into the greyhound stadium for a slash. As I relaxed to piss, out popped a fart, or so I thought I instantly realised my situation and my night was over. 30 minutes off bog time later (I know, sorry), my arse is now stinging and I am managing my breathing. Better fuck off before the match. In summary, CT calls Happy Face and JawD a pair of puffs, everyone else a cunt, then shits himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4510 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Not at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 That's what I like about you CT, you're self-defecating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4510 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 That's what I like about you CT, you're self-defecating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2868 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Sometimes I don't know about this place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4510 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 there's a lad in my work who is constantly telling people how he's been "caught short" with a dose of the shits, rang in from his car one day even mentioning plastic bags and such. mean fuck me how hard is it to say "not feeling well went home/not coming in" or "i've a sore head" who rings in and tells people they've shat themselves. CT you are now in that categorie, your daughters going come on here and realise her dad crapped his pants trying squeeze out a fart. fucking hell She already knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 there's a lad in my work who is constantly telling people how he's been "caught short" with a dose of the shits, rang in from his car one day even mentioning plastic bags and such. mean fuck me how hard is it to say "not feeling well went home/not coming in" or "i've a sore head" who rings in and tells people they've shat themselves. I guess when it's all consuming like that you just have to tell someone. Pity it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43115 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Just remembered I'd agreed to go to the match tomorrow. If I could get out of it, I would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Happy arbitrary annual solar cycle celebration everyone. I hope superficial social convention has given you a renewed optimism for the coming 365.25 days being better than the previous 365.25 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 The annual solar cycle is not arbitrary, its determined by the movements of the celestial bodies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32001 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 CT needs to be renamed 'Jackie Shiter' by the way. Get to it Admins/Mods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 20551 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 The annual solar cycle is not arbitrary, its determined by the movements of the celestial bodies. The specific date we ascribe to 'new year' is though, if we want to get pedantic about things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41475 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 CT needs to be renamed 'Jackie Shiter' by the way. Get to it Admins/Mods. Shits McGee? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32001 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Shits McGee? I prefer mine but it's up to you. Deeeelighted. Final pub quiz at the local of the year and we managed to make it our 14th win, winning the yearly league table along win it. We've been stuck on 13 for ages, kept tying for the win 5 weeks in a row losing the tie break to other teams totally unable to put into bed but we've managed on the last week. Andrew needs 'Bamber Gascoigne' for a week while we're at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 The night before last my oldest daughter got a lift in Happy Faces dads taxi. I said to her.... "you know who his son is........Happy Face". She kept saying things like Dont be stupid, it cant be etc... I said why......... She said, Because Happy Face is a girl!!!!! WTF After several moments of laughter, she then said, JawD's a girl though? Im not sure if this is down to her inherited stupidity or the fact that you two are so pleasant (unlike most of the back stabbing snakes on here ), that she assumed it was feminine kindness So basically a young lass and she already thinks blokes must be cunts, else the person must be a lass. Aye well done Too much billy big bollocks bravado most of the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 The specific date we ascribe to 'new year' is though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 The earth is closest to the sun on Jan 1st. It might not be 'accurate' if you think the year should be marked by the shortest day but the cycle depends on the earth's orbit of the sun, which is not arbitrary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 34239 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 It's usually around the 3rd Jan (although it changes slightly due to precession). This year it's the 2nd. Was January 1st / New Year's Day deliberately set as being on or about the Earth's perihelion though? Genuine question as I don't know the answer and have never really thought about it before. I got an Astronomy book for Xmas as it happens. There's genuinely a chapter on 'Observing Uranus'. Little things.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3205 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 It's usually around the 3rd Jan (although it changes slightly due to precession). This year it's the 2nd. Was January 1st / New Year's Day deliberately set as being on or about the Earth's perihelion though? Genuine question as I don't know the answer and have never really thought about it before. I got an Astronomy book for Xmas as it happens. There's genuinely a chapter on 'Observing Uranus'. Little things.... Or big things for some posters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 January the 1st wasn't the start of a new year previously. It was 1st May. The Calendar being something that was built around Easter, rather than christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 16695 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) Mayday is Beltane...a pagan celebration of ewes starting to give milk..as far as I know its had no bearing on on any calender...this has though, its all to do with when Easter is celebrated.. http://en.wikipedia....Synod_of_Whitby Wasn't the world run by these bad boys for a long time?... http://en.wikipedia....Julian_calendar http://en.wikipedia....gorian_calendar Edited January 3, 2013 by PaddockLad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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