Christmas Tree 4729 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 There was a vampiress called Mabel Whose periods were very unstable. By the light of the moon, And the aid of a spoon She would drink herself under the table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42482 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 .........The difference between boys and girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17290 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42482 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Where d'you put the candle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 .........The difference between boys and girls And they call me Sausage fingers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17290 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 20233 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Fucking Halloween, nothing but bollocks. An excuse for pricks to dress up in fancy dress. Best thing about Haloween, pumpkins are in season to make some nice food with. Is it trick or treat night tonight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42482 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 And they call me Sausage fingers Mine are from years of outdoor graft though, not fried lard butties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 20233 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Mine are from years of outdoor graft though, not fried lard butties He obviosuly aint seen steelworks hands or lads who work on scaffs Fuck me, I was on site once and had a Steelworker take me up in cheery picker to check some connections out, he passed me a pen, I thought it was a small pen from the bookies the size of it in his hands, it was a fucking marker pen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Anyone seen a ghost? I was in bed trying and failing to get to sleep one time and opened my eyes to see a white figure at the door. I'm a man of science so I rubbed my eyes and had a proper look to work out how the light was falling that way. It still just looked like a young child to me. curtains closed so no moon beams or owt. I just rolled over and went to kip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17290 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 A picture in our bathroom jumped off the wall and smashed on to my sisters head when we were kids....we rushed in after hearing the scream and mum picked what was left of the frame and the cord which hung it on its hook was observed by the whole family to be unbroken We moved into the house in 1980, and this was the culmination of a bit of a campaign....water running in the middle of the night when all of us were in bed, the latched door (its an old cottage) to the lounge swinging open randomly, things going missing then reappearing again months later...it was all slightly amusing as I remember it, although the picture thing freaked my old dear and my sister out a bit to say the least. The funny thing is it all calmed down for over a decade...then, when the first granchild appeared it fuckin all started again! Mum was looking after them when their parents were at work and was hearing all sorts of stuff banging and crashing about...then as those kids got older it calmed down again....apart from when we were all sat there on New Years Eve a few years back when at 11-15pm the latch lifted up once again and the lounge door swung wide open, blowing a blast of freezing air into the room...... The thing is, my old man can remember the old woman who lived there when he was a kid...mad as a bag of ferrets, she'd been jilted at the altar in the 20s and seemed to be some sort of reclusive Miss Haversham type figure....a few years back he thought my old dear was behind him in the bedroom as he sat on the edge of the bed putting his shoes on...he looked into the dressing table mirror expecting to see his wife of 40+ plus years stood behind him but all he saw was a little bent figure in a red shawl diasapperaing into the wall behind him.....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Being telling the young'un a tale about a local witch who lived in "the old house" just up the road and comes back to life every Halloween searching for children for her pot! Think Ive overdone it as she is now petrified Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 We moved into our new house a couple of months back and we keep finding little water pools in the middle of the floor in different rooms. Totally unexplained, no leak from the ceiling and not close to any taps or pipes. I think the ghost is an old religious fuddy-duddy type, angered by those that over-imbibe. Always seem to have left their moist warning the morning after I've had a night on the sauce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I wonder if last years sherbet dib dabs are still in the cupboard and in date so I can palm them off tonight.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11409 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) Kid came to the house trick or treating last night, dressed as a scary Gloria Gaynor. At first i was afraid, i was petrified. Edited October 31, 2012 by Sonatine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42482 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Kid came to the house trick or treating last night, dressed as a scary Gloria Gaynor. At first i was afraid, i was petrified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10876 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Kid came to the house trick or treating last night, dressed as a scary Gloria Gaynor. At first i was afraid, i was petrified. Any kids come dressed incorrect tonight and they'll be given the short shrift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42482 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 When I worked in Davidstow in Cornwall, the sunken lane that went past the farmhouse was supposedly haunted by Charlotte Dymond, some local lass who'd been murdered on the moor in the 17/1800s We used to take groups up the lane onto Bodmin moor for night walks, and I used to go up the lane half an hour beforehand to hide at the top by the moor, jumping out and scaring the shit out if them. I'd done it loads of times, as I was a staunch skeptic re.ghosts and supernatural shit and was quite happy sitting in the dark listening to the beasties of the night. Anyway, this one time I set off, and after 10 minutes I heard someone walking up the lane behind me. Turned, no one there, carried on, heard them again , turned etc etc. I figured it was one of the other staff trying to freak me out so just carried on and hid , expecting them to pass me , when I would get my revenge. Didn't happen. The footsteps followed me all the way up the lane, sounding like they were no more than 10 metres or so behind. When I got to my hiding spot , I settled in , and then noticed the silence. Utter silence , none of the usual clatter the night animals made as they went about their business. I was a bit freaked out by now, then had this overpowering sense of being watched, by someone just behind me. Again, turned and no one was there. It felt like the longest half hour of my life. By the time the group got there I was freaked out completely. No idea who it was following me up the lane, nor can I explain the total silence at the top of the lane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Tempted to answer the door dressed as Jimmy Saville Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 20233 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Tempted to answer the door dressed as Jimmy Saville "Now then, now then" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15561 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Anyone seen a ghost? That's the sight that I fear most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Rather have a bit of toast. I think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15561 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Dooo do do do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rikko 20 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I shall be whipping up a nice batch of toffee onions in case any little scamps chap on my door tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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