wolfy 12 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) How many people do you see on mobility scooters and in mobility cars and those out at the pub on disability top rate benefit. I bet a lot of you have seen this and know a good few that's milking the system. To receive this benefit, you either have to be disabled enough to qualify, which is fair enough if that was the case. The problem is, it's more an audition for the benefit now, a little bit like Britain's got talent and Simon Cowell and the panel are the DSS judges. A relatively fit person who has his audition at a set time, will get out of bed, have his breakfast, then practice his ailment, whether that's the side walking limping adult following the local jazz band or the talk whilst wheezing, bent over flustered look, e.t.c. Once the practice is done, then he will set off on a pair of ready at the door walking sticks and off to the DSS audition. Simon: Hi and what's your name? Claimant: I'm Fred! Simon: Ok and what are you going to do for us today? Claimant: Well I'm going to perform a wheezing routine with a round of coughs, followed by a blood pressure rising look with a finishing performance of a wobble and collapse into a chair. Simon: Ok, you have 2 minutes, off you go. Claimant: (does his routine) Simon: I have to say , you were brilliant, just brilliant, it's a yes from me. Amanda: What Simon said, it's a yes from me. Piers: Congratulations Fred, it's 3 yes's, collect your disability book. Next up, is little 62 year old Edna who is struggling to get off her chair due to severe arthritis in her knees, hips and fingers, who can barely walk, yet stifles any whimpers and forces herself to walk on stage in front of the panel refusing any help from people and preferring to use her sticks. Simon: Right! Who's next. Edna: Hi simon. Simon: How old are you Edna? Edna: I'm 62 Simon! Simon: Ok Edna and what are you going to do for us today? Edna: I'm going to try and walk 10 feet then turn around and pick up a full cup of tea and take a sip, all without crying out in pain. Simon: Ok Edna, you have two minutes. Edna: (does the walk and picks up the cup ready to drink) Simon: WAHHHHHHHHHH. Amanda: WAHHHHHHHH. Piers: WAHHHHHHHH. Simon: Sorry Edna, you got 3 X'S , nice try, maybe try again next year. Aye, this system is totally bolloxed up isn't it and isn't based on real disability, it's based on who's the best actor/ess. Those genuine one's that qualify appear to have to have a week left to live, whilst crawling to the panel and still hope for the best. Does this make anyone cringe and has anyone got someone living near them who are real genuine cases who deserve help but get none and also how many people do you know who's a potential soap star disability actor/ess? Edited August 15, 2012 by wolfy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 If you fart into a vacuum its no longer a vacuum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy 12 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 If you fart into a vacuum its no longer a vacuum. It is! It's just got a bit of fart in it that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 That's not how the system works, Wolfy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 It is! It's just got a bit of fart in it that's all. How can a vacuum have something in it? It stops being a vacuum the moment you put something in it. Thats not science, thats common sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41454 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 It is! It's just got a bit of fart in it that's all. Therefore no longer a vacuum. And the hamster will die. Edit; aaaand just seen Chez's reply. D'oh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy 12 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 That's not how the system works, Wolfy. That's just my way of describing how it appears to work based on what I see. What's your take on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 When does a vacuum stop being a vacuum? When it's all hoover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy 12 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) How can a vacuum have something in it? It stops being a vacuum the moment you put something in it. Thats not science, thats common sense. Well it's common sense to know a rocket hasn't been in it then isn't it.lol Edited August 15, 2012 by wolfy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41454 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Well it's common sense to know a rocket hasn't been in it then isn't it.lol Once a rocket enters Space, Space is no longer a vacuum, therefore the rocket will work. Check mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy 12 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Once a rocket enters Space, Space is no longer a vacuum, therefore the rocket will work. Check mate. False move, if that's the case, send down for a few tankers full of fuel for your moon journey in your non vacuum. Check mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15190 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 When does a vacuum stop being a vacuum? When it's all hoover. Fuck off man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41454 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Fuck off and Dy Son FYP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 FYP Suck it up the pair of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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