trophyshy 7065 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Some fool friend of mine has me doing a wedding blessing tomorrow. I've largely cobbled together what I'm saying but am still looking for any gems I can add to the inappropriate humour and alternative vows. What does love and/or marriage mean to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15190 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I would consider them to be ready bedfellows such as the domesticated equus ferus caballus and the wheeled vehicle transported by the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41440 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 The existence of either cannot occur without the presence of both. Or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7065 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 I would consider them to be ready bedfellows such as the domesticated equus ferus caballus and the wheeled vehicle transported by the latter. Might use that, not sure how it'll go down in Penge though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31901 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 My thoughts on marriage........ .......Also...... .......My face when she has an idea about something which usually involves me doing something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Read some Tim Minchin lyrics. he has it about right. stuff about the happy couple falling within the bell curve of acceptable mating partners. None of your soul mates bollocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4489 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I would compare find the right partner to supporting the right team. Supporting Newcastle / picking the right wife will lead to a happy , fulfilled rounded existence. Yes there will be tough times, but your undying love will see you through to better times ahead. Supporting Sunderland / picking the wrong wife will lead to a bitter sad existence with cheap cider and photo shoots with plastic guns your only escape from your miserable life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7065 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 She's Milwall, he's Charlton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2204 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 To speak of the woe that is in marriage...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41440 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 That'll go down well like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CleeToonFan 1 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Go together like a horse and carriage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41440 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Go together like a horse and carriage Meenzer beat you to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CleeToonFan 1 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Really need to start reading threads instead of just posting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Now Armageddon isn't the greatest films lets face it, but I've always liked the joke at the start where the bloke first spots the asteroid; 'I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Love is like a butterfly, soft and gentle as a sigh . Wasn't it . Isn't it . Marvelous . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7065 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 Might get her sister to read this out. He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks... The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer, I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him... Like his mother used to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31901 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Mrs HMHM: "Can you get a couple of cards from the card shop while you're out?" Mr HMHM: "Aye ok, how many? Two did you say?" Mrs HMHM: "Errm, hang on......(pause while she has a little think)....... 3 Dad cards, 3 Granda cards, one daughter, one sister and one for my Aunt........Oh and will you get some wrapping paper and a few little gift tags. And get a bottle of milk." Mr HMHM: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7065 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYD 0 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Wimen, are snakes with tits, nuff said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41440 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Mrs HMHM: "Can you get a couple of cards from the card shop while you're out?" Mr HMHM: "Aye ok, how many? Two did you say?" Mrs HMHM: "Errm, hang on......(pause while she has a little think)....... 3 Dad cards, 3 Granda cards, one daughter, one sister and one for my Aunt........Oh and will you get some wrapping paper and a few little gift tags. And get a bottle of milk." Mr HMHM: Is your lass my lass? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41440 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 " Oh, a double bank holiday, you can decorate the hall,staircase and landing" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 43027 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Aye I get that one too. Spent half an hour in Clinton Cards with her last weekend. I've picked cars quicker than it takes her to pick birthday cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADP 0 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I've picked cars quicker than it takes her to pick birthday cards. A female truth if ive ever heard one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 31901 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 " Oh, a double bank holiday, you can decorate the hall,staircase and landing" Can you imagine the reaction if you said, "Hey wor lass, it's a bank holiday! Here's a list of jobs for you to do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41440 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Krakatoa would seem like a spuggy's fart by comparison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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