Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I pulled my leather chaps on tight around my crotch. They would protect me from harm as I mounted my glistening 500cc Honda Shingsongtau motorbike. The Norwegian pornstar had entertained herself during the night by playing on my pinball machines after I'd finished with her--they say watching the balls whizz around the obstacles is therapeutic, especially after being savagely pumped for several hours by a rambunctious sex-machine like myself, with my finely-honed body free from the poisonous influence of illegal drugs and alcohol. "This is it," I said, as I revved the engine hard, my penis now fully erect: "I'm going to show this world the real meaning of 'cool'." As I accelerated with incredible velocity, I remembered that in my haste I had forgotten to open the garage shutter. It took the paramedics 13 hours to scrape my splattered body parts from the walls. The worst part is that my pinball machines were permanently stained with fluid from my gallbladder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7011 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Doilum of the day (as ever) J69. I'll reply properly to your ridiculous post when I get in. Dont bother, Im out tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11329 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I pulled my leather chaps on tight around my crotch. They would protect me from harm as I mounted my glistening 500cc Honda Shingsongtau motorbike. The Norwegian pornstar had entertained herself during the night by playing on my pinball machines after I'd finished with her--they say watching the balls whizz around the obstacles is therapeutic, especially after being savagely pumped for several hours by a rambunctious sex-machine like myself, with my finely-honed body free from the poisonous influence of illegal drugs and alcohol. "This is it," I said, as I revved the engine hard, my penis now fully erect: "I'm going to show this world the real meaning of 'cool'." As I accelerated with incredible velocity, I remembered that in my haste I had forgotten to open the garage shutter. It took the paramedics 13 hours to scrape my splattered body parts from the walls. The worst part is that my pinball machines were permanently stained with fluid from my gallbladder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9314 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I wouldn't be surprised if kicking a ball around the back streets is the best way to learn footy. Once a kid gets on the big pitch with a tracksuited arsehole who screams "Early ball" or "get rid" the minute he gets the ball, any hope of turning out a Gazza or a Hoddle is gone It could have been, in the Charlton/Milburn days it was all they had. Pro's got there through natural ability (and being lucky enough to be spotted). Training/coaching was run about do some star jumps then hop on the bus home for a tab and a beer in the pub. Other countries have moved on from natural ability being the end product, it's an edge to be honed and polished by proper coaching from a very young age. MugFool mentions Messi, Xavi and Iniesta, they joined Barca at 11,11 and12 respectively, I bet they weren't chucked into the back lane to play with tennis balls until 7 years later they miraculously hatched into REAL world class players. They were coached the right way and I doubt they were ever shouted at to hoof it. We're in the dark ages compared to elsewhere and the rewards for average players are ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9314 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Dont bother, Im out tonight He won't, he calls stuff shite, then runs away when he realises he was wrong with the old "I'll reply tomorrow/later" post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Playing on concrete with a tennis ball produces better players.....loads of old time players will tell you that, I remember reading an interview with Gerry Muhren of Ajax & Holland, he regretted the passing of what he called "street football"...parents dont let their kids out to do it now, too dangerous, so they have a "coach" down the local rec to show them how to play instead of learning for themselves that falling on concrete is fuckin sore so you learn to stay on your feet. Playing with a tiny ball improves your touch immersurably when someone finally appeared with a full sized leather ball. I'm sure I dont need to tell the older ones on here about that, its how we all learned how to play the game in the days when mothers would kick you out the house at 9-30am "go out and play!!!" Murhen also refused to go a 100 miles to Germany to play in the WC in 74 because his son was ill. He once played for Ajax in the Bernebau v Real in a European tie and played keepy-uppy in the centre circle because he was from the generation who could play off the cuff with real confidence. Some of those playing for England last night were hiding from the ball, a fuckin joke. Pele used to put paper in a sock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Just pay Cruijff a fucking fortune to.overhaul the system in this country. Piss easy really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac-Toon 1 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 With the change of youth football setup it will now be played on a smaller pitch without an official 'keeper. The thought being; kids grow at different rates so the better players tend to be the taller, faster kids. The smaller kids don't get a look in due to not being able to keep up. On a smaller pitch it won't be "knock it long & run", hopefully allowing others to flourish. They're also discussing introducing a "retreat line" to allow teams to play it out of defence rather than lump it up. I don't agree with the "non competitive" way up to U12s now but at least we're trying new ideas. I personally believe 80%+ is down to sound coaching & the remaining 20% is natural talent. We'll take another 15-20 year to get to Spains current level, by which point they'll have evolved even more. On England; we were pathetic last night, played to our level & got what we deserved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 He won't, he calls stuff shite, then runs away when he realises he was wrong with the old "I'll reply tomorrow/later" post. He won't, he calls stuff shite, then runs away when he realises he was wrong with the old "I'll reply tomorrow/later" post. Like when. I've done nothing but abuse you and your feeble posts for two weeks. You're probably not as big a mug as you portray yourself on here, and J69 is probably not as big a doilum, but don't talk pish and stick to talking about finance, your posts remind me of Liam O'Brien's penalty against Bournemouth, well wide of the mark, and you wanted to punch him after he took it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I could name ten 3rd world countries where football is the main sport and their national team is hopeless You are spouting some shite today mind Stevie. This would be the Argentina that went out at the 1/4 finals of the last 2 world cups AND the last Copa America? I could name ten 3rd world countries where football is the main sport and their national team is hopeless You are spouting some shite today mind Stevie. This would be the Argentina that went out at the 1/4 finals of the last 2 world cups AND the last Copa America? Are you telling me Argentina are shit? Argentina have been mint since 1978, and they produce players like Messi, Maradona, Batigol and it's fuck all to do with coaching, it's talent, they're football stupid countries and they're poor, they play football in their sleep. For me Argentina is the best football country in the world, and it produces world class footballers, who are nearly always from the slums. Give me an example of 5 world class players from priviledged backgrounds. Don't dare say Frank Lampard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I'll give you Vialli, not that you'd have known...four more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac-Toon 1 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I'll give you Vialli, not that you'd have known...four more. Mike Williamson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Mike Williamson? Hahaha. I suppose having running water in Stoke is privileged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac-Toon 1 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Hahaha. I suppose having running water in Stoke is privileged. Stoke? I assumed he was from Tunbridge Wells or some stuck-up place like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Stoke? I assumed he was from Tunbridge Wells or some stuck-up place like that. He moved to Torquay at some point when he was at school age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Give me an example of 5 world class players from priviledged backgrounds. Don't dare say Frank Lampard. Kaka? Priviliged from a Brazilian point of view at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11329 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Euro 2012: The telling statistics that damn England England had on average 39% of the possession in their four games, their lowest figure at a tournament since Euro 1980 – and the figures get worse Share87 Email Mike Adamson guardian.co.uk, Monday 25 June 2012 16.48 BST England’s most successful passing combination against Italy was the goalkeeper Joe Hart, above, to the substitute striker Andy Carroll. Photograph: Richard Sellers/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar 30 Cristiano Ronaldo has had more shots in his first four games at Euro 2012 than the entire England squad (29) had at the tournament 20 Italy had more shots on target in their quarter-final match than England had in total in their four matches in Ukraine 88 England conceded more than twice as many shots to France, Sweden, Ukraine and Italy than they had against those teams 39 England had on average 39% of the possession in their four games, their lowest figure at a tournament since Euro 1980 29 Ashley Young and James Milner put in 29 crosses in the four games. Only three reached an England team-mate 300 England averaged 300 passes per match. The four semi-finalists have averaged 479 15 England completed only 15 passes in the 15 minutes of the second period of extra-time against Italy 18 England's most successful passing combination against Italy was the goalkeeper Joe Hart to the substitute striker Andy Carroll 115 Andrea Pirlo had more passes against England than England's four starting midfielders had against Italy 18 Mesut Ozil has created 18 chances in Germany's four games. Steven Gerrard, England's most prolific chance creator, has made six 102 England ran on average 102km in their four matches. Italy ran 7.5km further on average per match 86 England have had the most tackles in the tournament, with Steven Gerrard's 18 the most of any player 29 England have blocked the most shots at Euro 2012, 17 more than Italy, 19 more than Germany, 21 more than Portugal and 24 more than Spain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Kaka? Priviliged from a Brazilian point of view at least. What he didn't grow up in the roof of a phone box? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Some shocking stats there, and not all of them relating just to last night's game. I can't believe how big the gap looked between the two nations last night. Especially after England looked a bit more capable against France, albeit a French team that perhaps also disappointed overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADP 0 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/england-fan-drops-his-pants-and-flashes-939669 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44556 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Probably the prime factor imo. Social spastics wearing headsets, thumb twoddling and eating crisps in their bedrooms. Sounds mint, what time do we get started? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44556 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 @CT from earlier. The cats were spot on thanks. They dined on steak with me most nights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Sounds mint, what time do we get started? Let's get crackin Gemsmaster . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I reckon Southgate will do a canny job btw. Seems to know his onions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 The vast majority of Ronaldo's 30 shots have been nowhere near the goal or glaringly poor misses - it was only the last game against the Czechs where he carried Portugal through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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