mackem messageboard gold

[Howmanheyman 36215]

Their neverending tales of bumping into mags everywhere and anywhere in the world where the MLFs present are all fine, respectable pillars of society but the mags are brash, big mouthed scruffs all wearing football tops who are usually publicly humiliated by the debonair descendants of founders of global football clubs always tickles me. Keep it going, marras, lovely to see.

Edited September 17, 2024 by Howmanheyman

[Dazzler 11519]

34 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Their neverending tales of bumping into mags everywhere and anywhere in the world where the MLFs present are all fine, respectable pillars of society but the mags are brash, big mouthed scruffs all wearing football tops who are usually publicly humiliated by the debonair descendants of founders of global football clubs ways tickles me. Keep it going, marras, lovely to see.

I love the escalation as they all have to one up each other.

 

"I was a snobbish cunt on a shit beaych holiday in Wales, marra."

 

"Woh yeh? Well aah was a bellend to a mag in Ponteyland Airport."

 

"That's nowt, marra. Aah shouted obscenities at a toddler in a full barcode kit in Marmaris."

 

"Buckle up lads, aah've got yeeyz aah'll beyt. Aah uppercutted Feylix Baumgartner when he landed after his stratosphere base jump because aah read summit on 4chan about him liking Sheyrer as a kid. Not that aah have a problem with big Al marra, eez one of the good ones."

Edited September 17, 2024 by Dazzler

[Alex 36571]

17 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

I love the escalation as they all have to one up each other.

 

"I was a snobbish cunt on a shit beaych holiday in Wales, marra."

 

"Woh yeh? Well aah was bellend to a mag in Ponteyland Airport."

 

"That's nowt, marra. Aah shouted obscenities at a toddler in a full barcode kit in Marmaris."

 

"Buckle up lads, aah've got yeeyz aah'll beyt. Aah uppercutted Feylix Baumgartner when he landed after his stratosphere base jump because aah read summit on 4chan about him liking Sheyrer as a kid. Not that aah have a problem with big Al marra, eez one of the good ones."

Last one contains far too much detail to be on RTG

[Howmanheyman 36215]

 

 

 

Scouse version of Mackemory. 

 

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 44881]

28 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

 

 

Scouse version of Mackemory. 

 

 

 

It’s Tough Guy Mick! 
 

I wonder if he’s related to the Mackem Micks, Uncal, Little, and Basic? 

[Renton 23472]

4 hours ago, Dazzler said:

I love the escalation as they all have to one up each other.

 

"I was a snobbish cunt on a shit beaych holiday in Wales, marra."

 

"Woh yeh? Well aah was a bellend to a mag in Ponteyland Airport."

 

"That's nowt, marra. Aah shouted obscenities at a toddler in a full barcode kit in Marmaris."

 

"Buckle up lads, aah've got yeeyz aah'll beyt. Aah uppercutted Feylix Baumgartner when he landed after his stratosphere base jump because aah read summit on 4chan about him liking Sheyrer as a kid. Not that aah have a problem with big Al marra, eez one of the good ones."

 

 

This is it, the silly escalation. 

"That's nowt. A was walkin down Rurker beaych and a sees 10 thousandz of the curnts all wearin gravey stayained sawdi tops, including the dogs. So ah windmilled the lot of the scruffy curnts, arms, legs and heads flyin everywhere. Well, ahh looked at one of them anyways, and he didn't say nowt back. FTM".

 

 

 

[Dazzler 11519]

4 hours ago, Renton said:

 

 

This is it, the silly escalation. 

"That's nowt. A was walkin down Rurker beaych and a sees 10 thousandz of the curnts all wearin gravey stayained sawdi tops, including the dogs. So ah windmilled the lot of the scruffy curnts, arms, legs and heads flyin everywhere. Well, ahh looked at one of them anyways, and he didn't say nowt back. FTM".

 

 

 

“Aah member this one time I was at the hospital coz ower lass was having a babbey an this mag was a bed ower with his tewn top on feydin his newborn (alsoah in eeyz bar code onesey)

 

Anyways, aah hockled in his fayace and said tak that yi jawdey cunt. Never said a word.

 

His dad chinned ez tho.”

Edited September 17, 2024 by Dazzler

[Howmanheyman 36215]

22 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

“Aah member this one time I was at the hospital coz ower lass was having a babbey an this mag was a bed ower with his tewn top on feydin his newborn (alsoah in eeyz bar code onesey)

 

Anyways, aah hockled in this fayace and said tak that yi jawdey cunt. Never said a word.

 

His dad chinned ez tho.”

 

Ah waz in sunalin general as our lass had just dropped another bairn, (she said it was definitely mine, like), anyways, the head nuss pulls me over to one side and sez, 'eea, marra, ah dinna knaaz how to tell ya but thuz beyn a mix up of the babies. The three here got mixed up, there's a black asylum seykaz bairn, a Mags bairn and a MLF's bairn.' Ah just took the darkey bairn and when the nuss looked at iz ah sez, 'Ah canna tak a chance, marra'. The rest of the ward had gathered by now and all applauded my logic to a man. FTM.

[Dazzler 11519]

3 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

Ah waz in sunalin general as our lass had just dropped another bairn, (she said it was definitely mine, like), anyways, the head nuss pulls me over to one side and sez, 'eea, marra, ah dinna knaaz how to tell ya but thuz beyn a mix up of the babies. The three here got mixed up, there's a black asylum seykaz bairn, a Mags bairn and a MLF's bairn.' Ah just took the darkey bairn and when the nuss looked at iz ah sez, 'Ah canna tak a chance, marra'. The rest of the ward had gathered by now and all applauded my logic to a man. FTM.

There aah was crawling out of the plane wreckage in a feeld in Pennsylvania around September 2001, ahm not sheweh of the day but it might have beyn the 11th.

 

Anyways, there was this Saudi fella on the plane in his mag shirt, coz tha gay bashers have fancied the scum for over 20 years. Eez giving it big licks with a screwdriver tacking shots at the cockpit door and that when aah gets up, walk cleyn over tiv em and hewk em cleyn on the jaw. Aah’ll tell ya what eez alla wasn’t hew Akbar that day. 

 

Anyways, to cut a long storey longer, the pilot gets on the tannoy and blasts a belta rendition of he shags wee he wants, oh Adam Johnson ee shags wee he wants. Accidentally knocks the autopilot off and nosedives us into a feeld. Everyone else was too busey patting iz on the back and saying nice things about Quinney and Peeteh Reeyd coz wa massive in middle America.

 

Obviously, aah was the only survivor and aah dinnit like talking about it because as a fan of massive lads am peweh humble.

[Tdansmith 3260]

🤣

 

[Ayatollah Hermione 14557]

Couldn’t be any worse than the family of thick mackem cunts I was sat near on this transfer to the hotel who, as we passed through a police checkpoint, started shouting “El Police-o!” at the top of his voice and laughing out loud. Wouldn’t have grated too much but how fucking thick do you have to be to not know it’s “Policia”? Then it dawned on me that he almost certainly didn’t know they speak Spanish over in Mexico

[Dazzler 11519]

7 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Couldn’t be any worse than the family of thick mackem cunts I was sat near on this transfer to the hotel who, as we passed through a police checkpoint, started shouting “El Police-o!” at the top of his voice and laughing out loud. Wouldn’t have grated too much but how fucking thick do you have to be to not know it’s “Policia”? Then it dawned on me that he almost certainly didn’t know they speak Spanish over in Mexico

El-po-Lee-so-a for anyone wondering how that would sound.

[Howmanheyman 36215]

 

 

[Dazzler 11519]

"Clearly in a different league to us albeit lower"

 

They do know how the footballing pyramid works, don't they?

 

Also they don't get to pass judgement on horse assaults anymore. That ship sailed very recently.

[Monkeys Fist 44881]

37 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

 

 A family Trattoria 

 

Sunlin’ when Papa Berb M was in charge

 

Sunlin’ when the Pocket Money Kid took over

[Alex 36571]

39 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

 

He almost got there. He just needed to make them a kebab shop that does cheesy chips 

[Alex 36571]

18 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

"Clearly in a different league to us albeit lower"

 

They do know how the footballing pyramid works, don't they?

 

Also they don't get to pass judgement on horse assaults anymore. That ship sailed very recently.

On the river where they want to stop the boats…

[Ayatollah Hermione 14557]

I see they’re doing alright atm. If we win on Saturday and they lose, let’s see how the mood is on RTG

[thebrokendoll 10159]

what an absolute hoot this cunt is....

 

[Alex 36571]

Driving a car they’ve stolen whilst pissed before dumping it is really something to be proud of like. 

[Dazzler 11519]

6 minutes ago, thebrokendoll said:

what an absolute hoot this cunt is....

 

[Dazzler 11519]

Just now, Alex said:

Driving a car they’ve stolen whilst pissed before dumping it is really something to be proud of like. 

Decked out in mag paraphernalia too...mag behaviour, marra. 

[thebrokendoll 10159]

imagine being that desperate to court the attention of the fucking cretins on rtg that you invent that bollocks?

 

the stupid mackem thundercunt.

Edited September 19, 2024 by thebrokendoll

[NJS 4549]

If that was posted on here or N-O in relation to 73 you would see them demanding it be reported to Northumbria police and an investigation opened into a 51 year old car crime. 

Edited September 19, 2024 by NJS

[Alex 36571]

28 minutes ago, thebrokendoll said:

imagine being that desperate to court the attention of the fucking cretins on rtg that you invent that bollocks?

 

the stupid mackem thundercunt.

Aye. It’s one of those where it’s completely embarrassing if he’s made that up to impress people. But even more so in the unlikely event it’s true

.