mackem messageboard gold

[Dazzler 11696]

1 minute ago, Alex said:

I like how they flip flop on there between the fetishisation of violence (especially from their own lot) and considering themselves to be the most beloved, sound supporters around. Without a hint of self-awareness 

 

"I don't condone violence, but I'd love the toon fans to get Charlie Hebdo'd whilst over there."

 

[Renton 23600]

4 minutes ago, Alex said:

I like how they flip flop on there between the fetishisation of violence (especially from their own lot) and considering themselves to be the most beloved, sound supporters around. Without a hint of self-awareness 

 

Aye. Another thing, if you look on their board there are reports of their fans fighting with themselves nearly every home game.

Also, on the STID mockumentary, I remember them attacking the camera man.

 

[Dazzler 11696]

They also attacked Chris Coleman from memory.

[RobinRobin 12443]

Essembee arriving for history lesson. 🙂 

[thebrokendoll 10241]

28 minutes ago, Alex said:

I like how they flip flop on there between the fetishisation of violence (especially from their own lot) and considering themselves to be the most beloved, sound supporters around. Without a hint of self-awareness 

 

and yet (whilst not wanting to glorify this type of stuff) conveniently forgetting that newcastle's support literally took the piss out of them at roker park in a decade when hooliganism was at its worse.

hard as nails the mackems though, never been a one chinned in history.

[Dazzler 11696]

1 hour ago, thebrokendoll said:

 

and yet (whilst not wanting to glorify this type of stuff) conveniently forgetting that newcastle's support literally took the piss out of them at roker park in a decade when hooliganism was at its worse.

hard as nails the mackems though, never been a one chinned in history.

You can't technically chin someone that has no chin due to generations of devastating inbreeding. 

[Howmanheyman 36447]

Another look north rant.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 45073]

2 hours ago, Dazzler said:

They also attacked Chris Coleman from memory.

That was the husband of a woman my lass has the pleasure of working with. 
 

 

[Dazzler 11696]

2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

That was the husband of a woman my lass has the pleasure of working with. 
 

 

Was she suitably mortified or did she come to work bragging about her fella being on the telly?

[Monkeys Fist 45073]

Mildly embarrassed I think. 
 

I generally zone out within a second or two of Mrs.F’s mackem tales. 

[Dazzler 11696]

1 minute ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Mildly embarrassed I think. 
 

I generally zone out within a second or two of Mrs.F’s mackem tales. 

I zone out with our lass, but make sure I take a mental note of names and general tone. That way I know who to call a cunt when she talks about them again.

[Monkeys Fist 45073]

I once started telling her tales about various imaginary people in foreign lands, in response, and when she said 

“ Why are you telling me about total strangers” 

I said that she started it, I thought it was a game. 
 

Went down like a shite in a swimming pool. 

[Renton 23600]

17 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

I zone out with our lass, but make sure I take a mental note of names and general tone. That way I know who to call a cunt when she talks about them again.

 

I do that. But do you ever get that feeling of blind panic when you realise you've neglected to do the bare minimum and you don't have a fucking clue what the converrsation you were nodding to for 10 minutes was about? 

[The Fish 11313]

30 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

I do that. But do you ever get that feeling of blind panic when you realise you've neglected to do the bare minimum and you don't have a fucking clue what the converrsation you were nodding to for 10 minutes was about? 

 

When that cold chill creeps up my spine, I immediately interrupt her, make a big show of suddenly remembering something and ask her about a house job I know she wants doing.

 

She's so busy reminding about the mirror she wants hanging up that she forgets her tale about Emma*, but Emma* from work not her sister, the one who I met at that wedding, the one in the barn, anyway her husband has kind of checked out and is off with his mates most weekends instead of helping with the kids.  Bless her, she doesn't even question how that "reminded" me about the mirror. 

 

 

 

 

 

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Edited November 28, 2023 by The Fish

[Dazzler 11696]

4 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

I do that. But do you ever get that feeling of blind panic when you realise you've neglected to do the bare minimum and you don't have a fucking clue what the converrsation you were nodding to for 10 minutes was about? 

 

Nah, I think she knows deep down I am effectively there for her to vent to in body only, she doesn't want my active participation she just wants to get shit off her chest and I am willing to allow that so I don't get domestically abused.

[Dazzler 11696]

20 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

When that cold chill creeps up my spine, I immediately interrupt her, make a big show of suddenly remembering something and ask her about a house job I know she wants doing.

 

She's so busy reminding about the mirror she wants hanging up that she forgets her tale about Emma*, but Emma* from work not her sister, the one who I met at that wedding, the one in the barn, anyway her husband has kind of checked out and is off with his mates most weekends instead of helping with the kids.  Bless her, she doesn't even question how that "reminded" me about the mirror. 

 

 

 

 

 

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

You have been paying far too much attention.

[The Fish 11313]

3 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

You have been paying far too much attention.

I was creating this straight off the top of my extremely shiny dome.

[Holden McGroin 7546]

6 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

 

Nah, I think she knows deep down I am effectively there for her to vent to in body only, she doesn't want my active participation she just wants to get shit off her chest and I am willing to allow that so I don't get domestically abused.

Yeah. The ABSOLUTE worst thing you should do is offer a solution to her problems. Don’t ever go there. 

Edited November 28, 2023 by Holden McGroin

[Dazzler 11696]

7 minutes ago, The Fish said:

I was creating this straight off the top of my extremely shiny dome.

 

It must have come from some experience though. You've definitely accidentally paid attention, or intentionally during the early years when you were keen to push how good a listener you are and not insensitive like all them pricks her pals are with.

[Alex 36677]

2 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

Another look north rant.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve mentioned this before but I’ll watch the football bit on Look North if it just happens to be on. Everybody who wants to will already have either watched the match live and / or seen more extensive highlights from any number of sources anyway. A fair few of them seem to avidly watch LN to time the amount of coverage they get relative  to us etc. Just another NUFC-related activity they partake in only to wind themselves up. They also ignore Jeff Brown being a mackem in their cries of bias. And let’s not forget their long running feud against (what they perceive to be) Uber-Mag Dawn Thewlis. 

[Monkeys Fist 45073]

1 hour ago, Dazzler said:

Was she suitably mortified or did she come to work bragging about her fella being on the telly?

Texted Mrs. F. 
 

They are now divorced, with this incident being the final straw. 
 

So, aye, she probably was mortified. 

[Holden McGroin 7546]

2 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

 

It must have come from some experience though. You've definitely accidentally paid attention, or intentionally during the early years when you were keen to push how good a listener you are and not insensitive like all them pricks her pals are with.

I bet he went one step further and remembered her friends names.

[Dazzler 11696]

9 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

Yeah. The ABSOLUTE worst thing you should do is offer a solution to her problems. Don’t ever go there. 

 

You can also offer the worst advice ever first time you are asked and they sharp learn you are not the person to go to for advice.

 

"Your manager made you, an admin assistant, file a box of old contracts, and despite the fact it's not in your job spec there is a line that says the list is NOT exhaustive and you will be asked to complete other tasks similar, or in line with your role. What a complete bastard. Have you thought about screaming the DX theme tune and hitting him with a sweet chin music?"

 

Problem solved, now you can be a nodding dog in peace.

[Monkeys Fist 45073]

2 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

I bet he went one step further and remembered her friends names.

We did the “ free pass” quiz thing, where you’re allowed one free shag if the opportunity arose. 

I should’ve said Salma, not her best mate, on reflection. 

[Alex 36677]

This reminds me of my mam informing me of deaths and illnesses of various people I ‘know’. As in I went to school with a younger relative or something. So it’s a relation to someone I might not have seen in 30-odd years and I’m supposed to know who they are and feign interest. Even though I don’t, so I don’t