mackem messageboard gold

[Dazzler 9742]

 

This one seems more like it

[Howmanheyman 33173]

Pontayland airport, did ya say, marra? Embarrassing you're saying?

 

 

[Renton 21614]

Why aye.

 

[Monkeys Fist 42417]

I’ve thought long and hard about posting this* 

 

Just got back from an afternoon in Durham with Mrs. F and Fist Jnr. 
 

Stroll around the shops, up to the Cathedral, had a poke around God’s house, all very nice and relaxed. 
 

Came out of the cathedral and headed off across the green to go get some late lunch, and there they were- the first replica kit sporting folk I’d seen in the entire few hours. Three lads in their mid-20s. 
Guess what colours 

 

( Naturally I went straight up and offered them out, which, of course, they declined whilst involuntarily voiding their bowels.)**
 

 

* three seconds

** Imagine. 

[Renton 21614]

1 minute ago, Monkeys Fist said:

I’ve thought long and hard about posting this* 

 

Just got back from an afternoon in Durham with Mrs. F and Fist Jnr. 
 

Stroll around the shops, up to the Cathedral, had a poke around God’s house, all very nice and relaxed. 
 

Came out of the cathedral and headed off across the green to go get some late lunch, and there they were- the first replica kit sporting folk I’d seen in the entire few hours. Three lads in their mid-20s. 
Guess what colours 

 

( Naturally I went straight up and offered them out, which, of course, they declined whilst involuntarily voiding their bowels.)**
 

 

* three seconds

** Imagine. 

 

County Durham mackems are the worst.

 

Funnily enough, I've been for my usual walk to Whitley Bay and back today. Yep, the only replica strip I saw not on a kid was a complete family of mackems dressed like deck chairs waiting for the bus*. I did the Clint Eastwood lip thing and before you knew it they had also all soiled themselves.

 

* This bit is true. And so fucking what! 

 

[thebrokendoll 9203]

31 minutes ago, Renton said:

Why aye.

 

 

astonished he managed to recount that tale at the same time as typing, it's that side splitting.

the stupid mackem cunt.

[Howmanheyman 33173]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

Why aye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Alex 35077]

They’re going to go light when they see that Geordie lad* who got silver in the bmx on Look North. With his family dressed in NUFC clobber cheering him on. 
*technically from Gateshead / the ceremonial county of Durham 

[Alex 35077]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

Why aye.

 

What a load of fucking shite  

[Howmanheyman 33173]

I like how he doesn't forget to have a fan of another club sharing his disgust and amusement because of course he does.

[aimaad22 4156]

Yeah and has to revert to "etc etc" after naming three players which themselves most neutrals would struggle to complete the names for other than pseudo Bellingham courtesy his brother. Some flex that.

Edited July 31 by aimaad22

[Monkeys Fist 42417]

3 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

This era Ms. Carey was truly trouser-troubling. 

[RobinRobin 11263]

10 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

I’ve thought long and hard about posting this* 

 

Just got back from an afternoon in Durham with Mrs. F and Fist Jnr. 
 

Stroll around the shops, up to the Cathedral, had a poke around God’s house, all very nice and relaxed. 
 

Came out of the cathedral and headed off across the green to go get some late lunch, and there they were- the first replica kit sporting folk I’d seen in the entire few hours. Three lads in their mid-20s. 
Guess what colours 

 

( Naturally I went straight up and offered them out, which, of course, they declined whilst involuntarily voiding their bowels.)**
 

 

* three seconds

** Imagine. 

Not sure that's appropriate in the house of god.  

[Howmanheyman 33173]

10 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

This era Ms. Carey was truly trouser-troubling. 

 

[David Kelly 1245]

21 hours ago, Renton said:

Why aye.

 

I like that he's too thick to realise the other supporter he's invented is from a team who's also in the championship so would, if he existed, have had reason to know something about their players.  If it wasn't in fact all just made up in the first place.

[thebrokendoll 9203]

 

 

some legendry mackem hard man has apparently died and they've got a bit of a tribute thread going for him, which is fair enough I suppose.

anyway, somebody's hoyed up a photo of their top lads from the fulwell in the early 70s and it's quite easy now to see why they've been windmilling mags with ease since, well, football began really.

or another way to look at it...

far left is clearly adam johnson's old man, no wonder he ended up going down for noncing, it was in his genes from the outset. 

front row left, denim boy is clearly deformed bless him. Just as well he's nails really because he'd struggle like fuck to run away if things took a turn for the worse. thankfully for the photo the young steve bruce has offered to support him and keep him upright (ish)

the flame haired gemmill appears to have infiltrated their ranks, mind you, not surprised he wasn't scared to do so, of the two fuckers to his left, one would snap on a breezy day and the other cunt has to be in bed by half past seven.

immediately behind the 10 year old warrior is a lad who having decided his crombie doesn't afford him as much respect  as he'd like, bizarrely opts ro paint a ludicrous false sideburn on his face. job sorted.

red polo shirt boy, either buy some boots or change your fucking trousers.

 

 

[RobinRobin 11263]

I would be a bit concerned about the 7 foot one at the back. 🙁 

[Tdansmith 3259]

"red polo shirt boy, either buy some boots or change your fucking trousers."

 

😂😂😂😂

[Dazzler 9742]

Quote

"I was only saved from the joys Christmas in A &E because one of assailants recognised me from playing football with him. And football helped in similar circumstances not long after.
I had gone with a lad from Shiney called Eddie Emms to Sunderland town centre for a few beers and hopefully to track down some female company. I was well under eighteen, Eddie 2 years older. Eddie was skin head and was wearing his Sta Press trousers, Ben Sherman, brown brogues and a Harrington jacket. What I didn’t notice was that he was also wearing a small Newcastle United football badge in his Harrington collar. This was to prove a little problematical as we shall see.

We ended up after a couple in The Bee Hive and Borough pubs around Park Lane bus station and then in the pub called The Upper Deck. There were the usual lads standing around drinking and looking for bother, most skin heads of some sort. I needed to go to the toilet so I went, leaving Eddie trying to encourage two young girls with very short miniskirts to share our stimulating company. I was zipping up when this very large shaven headed lad came in and closed the door and stared at me aggressively and asked what two Mags (Newcastle supporters) were doing in his town. I thought, here we go again, another night of joy and lost teeth. What I quickly thought was why he thought we were Newcastle United supporters. Rather than try to get the first blow in, which experience had taught me was often the only course left to you in these circumstances, I thought the better part of valour was to maybe talk my way out of this and asked him aggressively, why did he think that? He mentioned the badge on Eddie’s Harrington.

Now I knew Eddie was indeed a Magpie but I had never thought he’d be stupid enough to wear a badge on a Saturday night in Sunderland. This is going to take some talking our way out of, the stupid bastard I thought. Maybe the good Lord took some pity on me or maybe I am just a lucky bugger but this huge hulk of a lad looked at me and I noticed puzzlement came over his face. He stared me out for a while then he asked a question. “I’ve met yeah before haven’t I, a couple of weeks ago in Durham? At the Athletics wasn’t it?”

I looked at his large ginger shaved head and staring eyes and I too remembered the moment we had met. It was difficult to forget and I’ve never seen anyone do what this mad man did then or ever again. I was throwing the javelin and discus at Durham Athletics Schools championship and was standing with my fellow team mate, shot putter, Paul Stangrome, from Fatfield, a very large fit boy who played centre half with me in Chester Boys football team. Up walked a similar girth- sized but squatter boy than Paul with a ginger shaven head and he picked up a shot put with one hand and came right up to Paul and stared up at him in the face threateningly. He and Paul stared at each other for a few seconds and the other lad stepped back and then threw the shot put into the air. As it followed Newton’s law of gravity and started to fall to earth, he launched his huge neck forward and he head butted the 7.2 kg or 16 lbs. steel ball. The ball following Newton’s first law of motion and with much more inertia than a human skull continued falling to make a large dint in the muddy earth not deviating from its normal path. The boy’s head understandably stopped dead where it had impacted the ball with a dull cracking sound of bone crunching. The skinhead glared at Paul with no look of pain or fear in his face and twisted his mouth and spoke his first words.

“I’m from Sun’lund and I’m hard and I’m gonna win this shot put: **** yeah.”

He sounded canny. Just out there nutting falling shot puts as you do (allegedly)

[Isegrim 9772]

 

[thebrokendoll 9203]

49 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

He sounded canny. Just out there nutting falling shot puts as you do (allegedly)

 

eddie emms, very obviously the luckiest mag to ever walk this planet.

 

fucking hell, just noticed eddie was from shiney row too. .... even luckier.

Edited August 2 by thebrokendoll

[Dazzler 9742]

The mackems are taking their turn to riot tonight. Just saw one getting absolutely hammered in the legs with a truncheon on TikTok live. 
 

obviously the copper was a MLF because no way would a mag copper keep him down when he’s nails.

 

Also the comments were all WLM which I presume is white lives matter the fucking vermin.

Edited August 2 by Dazzler

[Tdansmith 3259]

1 hour ago, Dazzler said:

The mackems are taking their turn to riot tonight. Just saw one getting absolutely hammered in the legs with a truncheon on TikTok live. 
 

obviously the copper was a MLF because no way would a mag copper keep him down when he’s nails.

 

Also the comments were all WLM which I presume is white lives matter the fucking vermin.

At least they didn't turn up for the riot in their mackem top....oh !

Edited August 2 by Tdansmith

[Dazzler 9742]

Squaring up to a horse. Mag behaviour.

[Monkeys Fist 42417]

22 hours ago, thebrokendoll said:

 

 

some legendry mackem hard man has apparently died and they've got a bit of a tribute thread going for him, which is fair enough I suppose.

anyway, somebody's hoyed up a photo of their top lads from the fulwell in the early 70s and it's quite easy now to see why they've been windmilling mags with ease since, well, football began really.

or another way to look at it...

far left is clearly adam johnson's old man, no wonder he ended up going down for noncing, it was in his genes from the outset. 

front row left, denim boy is clearly deformed bless him. Just as well he's nails really because he'd struggle like fuck to run away if things took a turn for the worse. thankfully for the photo the young steve bruce has offered to support him and keep him upright (ish)

the flame haired gemmill appears to have infiltrated their ranks, mind you, not surprised he wasn't scared to do so, of the two fuckers to his left, one would snap on a breezy day and the other cunt has to be in bed by half past seven.

immediately behind the 10 year old warrior is a lad who having decided his crombie doesn't afford him as much respect  as he'd like, bizarrely opts ro paint a ludicrous false sideburn on his face. job sorted.

red polo shirt boy, either buy some boots or change your fucking trousers.

 

 

They all look like they’re wearing face masks of themselves.