mackem messageboard gold

[Dazzler 8520]

6 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

 

 

'Ah waz coming out of the ground and this Boro fan was sticking four fingaz up at iz, whilst at the sayam time spitting on mayad up wimmins and bairns so strayat away ah waz about to clayn him out with a one-a but the Northumbria police, (all fucking mags by the way), got theya horses in the way. Ah pointed out that the Boro fans were takking liberties with the Mayad up wimmins and bairns but theya wouldn't let us past so ah called the horse a mag cunt and ee didn't knaas what to say, he just kept his head down, and used his hooves to cover his eyes with his blinkers. Disgrayasful beyhaviour from the Boro fans and the Mag Northumbria police, like.'

 

I don't remember this verse from Blaydon Races tbh. I like it.

[RobinRobin 10701]

10 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Watch the video a bit longer and you'll see him simultaneously vomitting and shitting himself after his swim in Rurker beach. 

[Renton 20430]

Ahhh fuck man, I was convinced we had invented flags, but it turns out the mackems did, along with our most famous expression and EVERYTHING else.

 

Edited October 9, 2023 by Renton

[Monkeys Fist 41332]

25 minutes ago, Renton said:

Ahhh fuck man, I was convinced we had invented flags, but it turns out the mackems did, along with our most famous expression and EVERYTHING else.

 

There’ll always be some things that are uniquely sunderland. 
 

[TommyVercetti 42]

Can I shock you all? I fucking hate Mackems. 

[Dazzler 8520]

3 minutes ago, TommyVercetti said:

Can I shock you all? I fucking hate Mackems. 

 

Sounds like something a mackem in disguise might say....

[TommyVercetti 42]

51 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

 

Sounds like something a mackem in disguise might say....

I have never been so offended. 

[Dougle 3236]

17 minutes ago, TommyVercetti said:

I have never been so offended. 

 

Fuck off you maackem cunt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TommyVercetti 42]

14 minutes ago, Dougle said:

 

Fuck off you maackem cunt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calm it son, I'll get me seagull shagging pals round here in 2 seconds flat. 

[Dazzler 8520]

32 minutes ago, TommyVercetti said:

I have never been so offended. 

 

Stick around, I think you'll find that it will be topped very soon.

[Monkeys Fist 41332]

1 hour ago, TommyVercetti said:

I have never been so offended. 

 

1 hour ago, Dazzler said:

 

Stick around, I think you'll find that it will be topped very soon.

@TommyVercetti

Easily sorted this mind. 
 

1- You feel the familiar pressure in the back-end.  Do you

   a) Clench the nipsy and stiff-leg it to the nearest available toilet, where you can release the bomb-bay doors?

   b) Drop your pants outside Hendersons Butchers and lay a meaty steamer on the path, before waddling off to the chemist’s for a slug of methadone, buttering your cheeks as you go? 

2. 

Yiz playin pool n yiz snookad, can yiz play the jump shot? ( hitting cue baal awwa anuntha baal te hit ya cullad baal)?

 

Yes ah nah?
 

 

[GrahamTaylor5 817]

3 hours ago, Renton said:

Ahhh fuck man, I was convinced we had invented flags, but it turns out the mackems did, along with our most famous expression and EVERYTHING else.

 

This is fascinating. 

1) I didn't realise that we thought that we had invented flags. It never ceases to amaze me when I find out what I thought. 

2) That flags were in fact invented in Sunderland. 

Up until about 3 minutes ago, I assumed that it was some Chinese/ medieval invention. For a very underwhelming place to visit, Sunderland have some impressive achievements. I was impressed with Athletico Madrid, but I think this one may pip it to be fair.

[Alex 34100]

They actually invented magpies too. 

[Alex 34100]

31 minutes ago, GrahamTaylor5 said:

This is fascinating. 

1) I didn't realise that we thought that we had invented flags. It never ceases to amaze me when I find out what I thought. 

2) That flags were in fact invented in Sunderland. 

Up until about 3 minutes ago, I assumed that it was some Chinese/ medieval invention. For a very underwhelming place to visit, Sunderland have some impressive achievements. I was impressed with Athletico Madrid, but I think this one may pip it to be fair.

You have to say that it’s impressive that flags originated in a place nowhere near as old as flags themselves though 

[Howmanheyman 31631]

Not many peypul know that Sunderland and their inhabitants from yesteryear actually invented inventing stuff. Up until the first time they said 'let's start just inventing stuff' everything new in the world was just a big massive flewk that somehow just happened, it took a mackem to actually plan on makking owt, marra. 

 

Fade to title......

 

 

🎵

I'm a story teller

And my stories must be told.

We invented inventing

And then we invented massive flags

We invented those cloth like symbols

And we did it before the mags.

🎶

[Monkeys Fist 41332]

Not many peeyple know that Storybewk International, where John the Storyteller comes from, was inspired by the tales from around the world of a sailor from Southwick. 
 

Hence why John’s wearing a white shirt with a red waistcoat, marra. 
 

True story 

FTM

[Dougle 3236]

 

Hew marra we invented singing and barbering .

At the same time.

FTM

[RobElliott 1419]

They invented shitting on seats in their own stadium and also invented a new form of bestiality.

 

We all know where flags were really invented, Belfast.

[Renton 20430]

Ffs. Was just getting used to being a Saudi, now I have to become a Palestinian. Wibble. 

 

Edited October 9, 2023 by Renton

[Renton 20430]

So they now have a thread about the stadiums that are going to be used for Euro 2028, and why SJP is on the list but not SoL. Any rational comment about size, history, and location are met with accusations of 'mag'. But marra, how come SJP didn't host the lionesses they cry? Well that's simple, the upstanding moral lionesses apparently refused to play there.

 

Yeah, I'm guessing that could be proven factually incorrect marra. 

 

[Howay 12496]

 They also played at Coventry, MK Dons, Leicester, and Brentford. I’m going to make a guess like Silky did and say it’s probably more likely related to cost than a strong sense of morality. Additionally the team stayed in Newcastle before the game, so not sure Silkys weird connection point holds any water either. 
 

As always they’re more than welcome to get wound up whatever it is they make up about this. 

[Howay 12496]

9 hours ago, Renton said:

Ahhh fuck man, I was convinced we had invented flags, but it turns out the mackems did, along with our most famous expression and EVERYTHING else.

 

 Love that he’s wound up at the idea of us saying a local phrase. This weird obsession with claiming absolutely everything relates to them is driving them mental, and I for one am loving it. 

[RobinRobin 10701]

8 hours ago, GrahamTaylor5 said:

This is fascinating. 

1) I didn't realise that we thought that we had invented flags. It never ceases to amaze me when I find out what I thought. 

2) That flags were in fact invented in Sunderland. 

Up until about 3 minutes ago, I assumed that it was some Chinese/ medieval invention. For a very underwhelming place to visit, Sunderland have some impressive achievements. I was impressed with Athletico Madrid, but I think this one may pip it to be fair.

On the river where they used to invent the flags 

 

[The Fish 10430]

Isn't it nice to have real things to be proud of? 

[Dazzler 8520]

14 hours ago, Alex said:

They actually invented magpies too. 

 

The bastard offspring of seagull diddling?