mackem messageboard gold

[aimaad22 4009]

This has to be a joke

 

John Foster is a jaded Sunderland supporter who unwittingly makes a deal with a mysterious well-dressed man that he befriends on a night out. Soon after, he finds himself in an exciting new relationship with the beautiful and previously unobtainable Aimee and successful business partnership with nightclub promoter Gary. John then discovers he has sold his soul to the devil so Sunderland can beat Newcastle six times in a row. What he doesn't realise is that he must experience each victory through the eyes of six very different fans... - Ryan has lost £200 and subsequently missed out on a Newcastle away ticket, but his worst fear is his dad finding out. - Katie has just said goodbye to the most important person in her life, and this will be the first time she sits next to his empty seat at the Stadium of Light. - Samuel is a posh boy trying to prove to his mummy he is sensible enough to go to the cup final. But can Sam hack the sesh at Newcastle away? - Greg works for a marketing company, but when he has to work door-to-door in Newcastle on derby day, he questions whether he has found his calling in life. - Kasey is a frustrated housewife and doting mother whose family doesn't appreciate her, until she plots a diabolical plan to ruin each of their derby days. - Peter is a Newcastle fan who has seen his team lose five derbies in a row. He hates Mackems already, but defeat number six may just push him over the edge. This fiction-based-on-fact black comedy tells the tale of John Foster and his struggle to find his place in the underworld of Sunderland, while Sunderland AFC struggle to retain their place in the Premier League. In order to become a winner, John must first battle his own demons; literally and figuratively. Nightclubs. Football. Sex. Drugs. Flossys.

 

wtf

[Dr Gloom 21566]

i particularly enjoyed 

 

 

 

Samuel is a posh boy trying to prove to his mummy he is sensible enough to go to the cup final

 

 

[Dr Gloom 21566]

the underworld of sunderland ffs. i didn't realise it had an overworld.  

[Monkeys Fist 41520]

sunderland is the underworld.

[Rayvin 5131]

What's a Flossy...?

[aimaad22 4009]

i particularly enjoyed 

 

 

 

 

 

And how he 'discovers' that he sold his soul to the devil. Next time you put your soul up on ebay and then change your mind remember to take the ad down!!

[Alex 34280]

If we'd finished above them last season and they'd stopped up they'd have probably done more this summer. The jubilation that ensued at us going down caused their entire club to be lured into a false sense of security, where the manager that survived by 1 point is a messiah and they were creating threads claiming that some kind of special revolution was happening at their club I genuinely believe our relegation has contributed to their current state of affairs.

I think there's something to that. Our relegation made them view last season as a success.

[David Kelly 1208]

What's a Flossy...?

A dreadful multi coloured item of footwear favoured by persons without any self respect.

[Alex 34280]

Although that book sounds like absolute tripe plenty mackems probably would sell their soul to beat us six times off the bat.

[David Kelly 1208]

This has to be a joke

 

John Foster is a jaded Sunderland supporter who unwittingly makes a deal with a mysterious well-dressed man that he befriends on a night out. Soon after, he finds himself in an exciting new relationship with the beautiful and previously unobtainable Aimee and successful business partnership with nightclub promoter Gary. John then discovers he has sold his soul to the devil so Sunderland can beat Newcastle six times in a row. What he doesn't realise is that he must experience each victory through the eyes of six very different fans... - Ryan has lost £200 and subsequently missed out on a Newcastle away ticket, but his worst fear is his dad finding out. - Katie has just said goodbye to the most important person in her life, and this will be the first time she sits next to his empty seat at the Stadium of Light. - Samuel is a posh boy trying to prove to his mummy he is sensible enough to go to the cup final. But can Sam hack the sesh at Newcastle away? - Greg works for a marketing company, but when he has to work door-to-door in Newcastle on derby day, he questions whether he has found his calling in life. - Kasey is a frustrated housewife and doting mother whose family doesn't appreciate her, until she plots a diabolical plan to ruin each of their derby days. - Peter is a Newcastle fan who has seen his team lose five derbies in a row. He hates Mackems already, but defeat number six may just push him over the edge. This fiction-based-on-fact black comedy tells the tale of John Foster and his struggle to find his place in the underworld of Sunderland, while Sunderland AFC struggle to retain their place in the Premier League. In order to become a winner, John must first battle his own demons; literally and figuratively. Nightclubs. Football. Sex. Drugs. Flossys.

If that had just been some shite someone on their forum had put on for a laugh it would have been ok (not particularly witty, I'm sure it could be done a lot better) but if someone has actually written it as a book, it defies belief.  It's even worse if someone has published it.

[David Kelly 1208]

Although that book sounds like absolute tripe plenty mackems probably would sell their soul to beat us six times off the bat.

They'd do it for less than six.  I reckon Satan was robbed there.

[essembeeofsunderland 811]

Don't knock the book,we all had colouring in books as kids.

[Howay 12496]

There aren't words to describe how desperately sad that book is.

[Tom 14002]

Can Sam HACK THE SESH at Newcastle away?

 

I'm in tears here.

[ewerk 29808]

An interview with the author.

 

 

If you could choose three local celebrities to go out on your promo tour with you, who would they be?

 

We're talking Sunderland here, so first of all it's got to be Steve Cram. I think that's almost a prerequisite. I dunno what I'd have craic with him about, mind, probably running. He could tell me what the furthest he's ever run is, and I could pretend to be interested. The second person would have to be Wearside Jack, the Yorkshire Ripper hoax-caller bloke, as I reckon if we got him pissed we could convince him to do anything. He'd be a canny lad to have on tour but I imagine we'd end up getting sick of him quite soon. Maybe we could just leave him at a service station somewhere, like we do to misbehaving kids on ALS coaches. Thirdly, moving out of Sunderland a little bit, I'd have to choose Robson Green. My mam reckons that he once stood on her foot coming out of Woolworths in Chester Le Street, and didn't apologise, so I'd love to knock that c**t out. Plus he's a mag.

[Howay 12496]

:lol: Genuinely hope that's a pisstake because if it's in anyway serious or it's a mackem trying to be funny it's pathetic. It's also fucking hilarious when you think those two are probably two of the most notable mackems (even then Cram is from Jarrow which is 50/50 anyway), what a useless place.

Edited October 24, 2016 by Howay

[Dr Gloom 21566]

An interview with the author.

 

this has to be a wind up

[aimaad22 4009]

And here I'd thought for years that tales of mackem inbreeding were well...tales

[David Kelly 1208]

I actually thought that was genuine until it got onto wearside Jack

[ewerk 29808]

The full interview.

 

http://rokerreport.sbnation.com/2016/9/16/12939318/six-in-a-row-interview-with-author-chris-thompson

 

The guy quit his job to write this book.

[Dr Gloom 21566]

jesus christ, this isn't a wind up then? 

 

the lead line to one of the questions 

 

 

 

If this book becomes really, really popular and makes you really, really famous...

 

[Leon 13]

I've said it before on this board; it's pure genius and I was I thought about it myself.

The unwashed are going to snap this book up and stuff it into the stockings of all their rugrats and husbands this Christmas.   Almost every copy will go unread and those that can read and realise it's shit won't speak out because it's "6 in a row!".  Easy money for the author.

Edited October 24, 2016 by MiddleAgeCool

[ewerk 29808]

I can't help but think that he'd have had more luck with a picture book.

[Alex 34280]

Uncal Mick to play John

[Gemmill 43228]

Anyone stupid enough to buy it will say it's amazing regardless. "ere marra its an absolewt screeym. Best bewk eva"