Newcastle United vs Dirty Inbred Mackems (Sunderland)

[Ayatollah Hermione 13863]

Their early SJP tactics are always full of wind and piss until we get a foothold in the game. Their discipline is better than it was under Bruce so I don't expect a sending-off but it's going to get lairy early on. Tiote will pick his teeth with that Stockton rent boy Cattermole.

[LoveTheBobby 1]

The Makems are coming, Bolt all your doors, Hide all your jewellery under the floors, Zip up your pockets and keep everything tight from a bus load of thieves from the stadium of shite. They will climb in your gardens and rifle your bins, they will live off pot noodles and left over things. They will break thro your windows and steal all your goods then go back to their camp in Pennywell woods. Shell suits are fashion down 5und1and way with Brighthouse their saviour with five years to pay. They will wash in the Wear and struggle to cope and they don't understand the reason for soap. Their women are grannies when they reach 29, their dream of a holiday is a day on the Tyne. They look in the mirror and think what a mess before going to sleep with their brother in his Matalan dress

[Howay 12496]

Fucking crying here, that's belta!

[Monkeys Fist 42427]

The Makems are coming, Bolt all your doors, Hide all your jewellery under the floors, Zip up your pockets and keep everything tight from a bus load of thieves from the stadium of shite. They will climb in your gardens and rifle your bins, they will live off pot noodles and left over things. They will break thro your windows and steal all your goods then go back to their camp in Pennywell woods. Shell suits are fashion down 5und1and way with Brighthouse their saviour with five years to pay. They will wash in the Wear and struggle to cope and they don't understand the reason for soap. Their women are grannies when they reach 29, their dream of a holiday is a day on the Tyne. They look in the mirror and think what a mess before going to sleep with their brother in his Matalan dress

[Besty 4]

In a dressing room at Newcastle's training ground yesterday morning, Alan Pardew held court with his entire first-team squad. It was a call to arms, a reminder, in case any one of them did not quite grasp, or indeed had forgotten, of the enormity of the next game of football they would play. Everything had to be given, he told them. A city's pride was on the line. Sunderland were on the horizon. It was derby time.

 

In a corner of the room sat Yohan Cabaye. Cabaye was 12 years old when he was scouted by Lille Olympic Sporting Club. He spent six years in the club's academy. By his final season he had progressed to the first team. The following year, 2005, he had played in the Champions League, helping to defeat Manchester United. By the time he left, last summer, when Newcastle came calling, activating a clause in his contract that allowed him to go for just under £5m, Cabaye had helped Lille to win Ligue 1 for the first time since 1955. They had also defeated Paris Saint-Germain to win the French Cup, completing their first Double since 1946.

 

He was so embedded in Lille's history by then, so part of its fabric, that he still calls those team-mates "brothers". His eyes light up when a date, 10 May 2008, is mentioned. The Derby du Nord (the Northern Derby) is the geographical equivalent of Newcastle and Sunderland in France. It is a game that crosses social and economic boundaries. Lille – middle class and modern – against Lens, working class and industrial. It is also a game in which Cabaye scored as Lens were defeated and then, later that season, relegated. Such goals live forever.

 

"You are never allowed to forget them," he says. "It is so special to score in a derby. The fans in the stadium, when you score, are so happy, you become closer to them, you are almost as one. The crowd is bigger than the other games, the noise greater, it is special and I scored. My parents were in the stadium, my little brother and my big friends were there too, it was very, very special.

 

"When you walk out of the dressing room after scoring in a derby you feel so good, life is good. You just smile, you enjoy it, it is why you play, the crowd sing your name during the match, you leave the ground a hero and it is so good.

 

"Now Lille is bigger than Lens because we won the French League and the Cup. Lens were bigger than Lille then, but not now, Lille is a bigger club than Lens. The Derby du Nord is a very, very big game, maybe not quite like Newcastle-Sunderland but it is a game with a big rivalry. I won more than I lost at Lille. It is very important."

 

There were tears when he left Lille last year. At a poignant team meeting he addressed those he had grown up with and told them why he was going to Newcastle, to further his career at 25. "It was difficult to tell them I was leaving," he adds. "I told the manager: 'Boss, I am leaving Lille to go to Newcastle. Thank you for everything.' He asked 'Why? Do you not want to play Champions League?' I told him that no, it was time to move on. I think it is better to progress and he said, 'OK, all the best to you.' I told the lads. I thanked them and said, 'Good luck for next season, good luck for the Champions League, I will follow you for life.'

 

"It was an emotional time. We were a very close team at Lille. We won the league and the French Cup so we became even closer in that season. We are brothers for life because, in 20 or 30 years, they will still be talking about 2011 and what we managed to do."

 

In a Tyneside eaterie three weeks ago, Cabaye and his family (wife Fiona and young daughter Myla) were about to be served their food. "People were coming up to me and saying, 'We can't lose'," he recalls. "It was three weeks ago! It was all people were thinking about. The staff said, 'Be ready.'

 

"I like it here. I like the life here. My family life is nice. I can play football without worrying about my family. I like my house, I like the training ground, I like St James' Park. I like my team-mates, they are very nice with me. I hope we finish well this season to prepare for next season. At Lille, the players were my brothers. Are they my cousins here? Ha ha, yes. We meet outside the training ground. My English is not good enough yet to joke with the English players."

 

It is very good for just eight months of lessons and the entire interview is done without an interpreter. "I can speak with them and that is important for me but I think the next season it will be better for the jokes. I will be better at the banter then, I like that in a dressing room, I will get them all back."

 

There feels a longevity to Cabaye's move to Newcastle. He met Pardew before he signed and talked about the new, more expansive game that would be adopted by the side this season. He has come to England to be a more rounded central midfielder. He felt the benefit this week when he returned to play for France. He delights in Paul Scholes, a player he was compared to before he moved here.

 

"I am very happy because I love Paul Scholes. For me, he came out of retirement and he is still very good in every game he plays. He scores against Norwich, he is how old? 37, he can pass, he can move and he can score, he is fantastic, for me, I am very happy to be compared to Paul Scholes and I hope to do the same kind of things he does in games.

 

"Maybe he was a little undervalued in England. People should copy Paul Scholes and for me Steven Gerrard as well. These are English midfielders that everybody has to copy. They feel football. It is very pleasant to watch their game and to play against them but I hope, yes, I become like them.

 

"I think it helps me playing in England. You have to do everything. In France we have a big part of the game with the ball. We can kill the ball and pass it. Now we have to defend, pass and get the ball. I felt the benefit with the French team last week."

 

For now, however, it is about one game. Cabaye had, technically at least, been a Newcastle player for just 90 minutes when he walked out at the Stadium of Light on 20 August. He had played just once in this country when he was dropped into a Tyne-Wear derby.

 

"The intensity was...phew! It was my second game, it was like, yes, welcome to England! We won [1-0], it was good. The day was amazing, the stadium, when we came out on to the pitch before the start of the game, wow! Oh yes, I love that kind of noise. It's good.

 

"This week has felt different. The manager called in the first team this morning and told us it was a very special game, for us, for the fans, for the city. At the end you can get only three points but it is not a normal game. It will be very, very special and I hope and I think we are ready for this game. Every team-mate is very focused in his mind.

 

"The players are very focused and I am looking forward to Sunday to see what St James' Park is like. I think the stadium will be fantastic.

 

"Even if we get tired, we are not tired. You cannot be. You can run, you can fight, you can get the ball, you can score when you attack. You can do everything when the crowd is in that mood. They are like a 12th man for us. You are not allowed to stop. They demand that. This is a derby."

 

This is the language of a derby. The universal language of such a fixture.

Davide Santon is discussing the devotion to detail shared by José Mourinho and Alan Pardew when he realises that even Newcastle United's meticulous manager may not have catered for one particular contingency.

 

"If I score a goal against Sunderland Alan Pardew will have to substitute me straight away," he says, straight-faced. "I will just want to carry on celebrating, to run out of the ground and into the street. It would be the perfect moment for me."

 

Considering that the former Internazionale full-back is yet to score in senior football it may seem an unlikely scenario but derbies have a habit of turning into sunny days for the likeable 21-year-old.

 

Santon approaches Sunday's Tyne-Wear duel at St James' Park with the confidence befitting a man whose record against Milan during his San Siro days reads played three, won three.

 

Particularly memorable was the game three years ago when he fully eclipsed David Beckham, then on loan at Milan from LA Galaxy. "Bellissimo," he says, smiling at the memory. "They were beautiful occasions, special games and some of the best I played in. Of course, it made all the difference that we won all of them. Perhaps that is why I love derbies so much. They've made me very happy.

 

"I cannot compare Newcastle v Sunderland until after I've played in it but everyone here has been telling me just what it means. There are 90,000 fans at San Siro but they tell me it will be even noisier here."

 

He is certainly not about to repeat Ruud Gullit's famous mistake of 1999 when the then Newcastle manager claimed, sneeringly, that likening England's north‑east derby to its Milanese equivalent spells sacrilege.

 

Santon has been made well aware that, within days of dropping Alan Shearer and losing to Sunderland at St James', Gullit apologised for "massively underestimating" the match's significance before resigning. "Don't worry, I realise how important it is for Newcastle to win. Sunderland is as big a game as Manchester United."

 

In January, Newcastle beat Sir Alex Ferguson's champions 3-0 on Tyneside. "Hopefully history can repeat itself," says Santon, speaking through an interpreter. "As a team we were really up for Manchester United, our mentality was right and we played our best game of the season."

 

He is gradually recapturing the optimal form that, when he was a teenager, led both Mourinho and Marcello Lippi to liken him to a young Paolo Maldini. While Mourinho spoke glowingly of Santon's "interesting, intelligent personality" and "tactically versatile, highly technical football ability" an unusually complimentary Cristiano Ronaldo offered the then 18-year-old his shirt following Santon's Champions League debut in a home draw against Manchester United.

 

"The game against Ronaldo was really strange, even now I can't really believe it happened," he says. "Five months earlier I'd been playing against Ronaldo on PlayStation and then, suddenly, I was doing well against him on the pitch. He asked me for my shirt and told everyone how good I was. I couldn't quite believe it when he came over for the shirt, it took a moment to sink in."

 

He giggles at the memory. In an instant, the charming, poised young man sitting across the table swaddled in an Italian designer quilted jacket seems transported back to childhood.

 

By the time he marked Ronaldo he was already a firm favourite of the Special One. "José Mourinho was the one who discovered me, the one who had faith in me, the one who converted me from a right-winger, the one who pushed me forward and I will always owe him for that," Santon says.

 

Basking in the warm glow of such patronage he thrived in both full-back positions, swiftly accruing the first of seven full Italy caps and a Serie A winner's medal. Then injury intruded. An abrupt reminder that the Azzurri's latest rising star was mortal after all meant that Santon spent much of the 2009-10 season on the sidelines after undergoing two operations to repair cartilage damage to his right knee.

 

Although the scars left by his surgeon were superficially small and neat, the internal cuts ran much deeper, the knee took time to settle and the psychological damage inflicted by the initial surgery failing proved tougher than expected. "It was a difficult time," he says. "A frustrating time but I'm fine now."

 

Once he was ready to resume his Inter career properly Mourinho had joined Real Madrid, Rafael Benítez's brief tenure was under way, poisonous personality clashes festered in the dressing room and, confidence ebbing, Santon found himself loaned to Cesena. With Inter unable to offer anything more than a bit-part role, last summer's £5m move to Newcastle came as a welcome release.

 

When Santon's first day of training concluded with a badly swollen knee and a trip to a consultant the portents looked gloomy but, happily, it proved a minor scare. Even so, it was October before a defender who sat out Newcastle's 1-0 win at the Stadium of Light in August made his first-team debut. "I'm really grateful the manager allowed me time to settle in, to adjust, to learn how the team worked," he says. "I wasn't impatient, those first few quiet weeks really helped me."

 

Since then Santon has demonstrated precisely how effective right-footed left-backs can be, augmenting his evident defensive class with sometimes brilliant control and distribution in addition to searing pace on the overlap.

 

Like that of the France midfielder Yohan Cabaye, his recruitment can be seen as a statement of Pardew's intention to construct a technically accomplished team capable of challenging regularly for Europe.

 

As Mourinho mentioned in a recent interview, the Tyneside air certainly seems to be reviving Santon's career. "I was very happy when I heard that José had said I was playing well again here," he says beaming. "My dream now is to return to San Siro."

 

Not, he hastens to add, by rejoining Inter but with sixth-placed Newcastle in the Champions League. "It will be very difficult to qualify this season but it's possible. When I first joined, no one thought we could be in such a high position but it did not take me long to realise there are many good players here and, like Mourinho, Alan Pardew is a very thorough manager who prepares you very well for games. I think we can get into the Europa League this season. Then who knows? I can't wait to play for Newcastle at San Siro and win."

 

In the meantime the boy from Portomaggiore, 50 miles south of Venice, who arrived unable to speak a word of English is making impressive strides in learning the language and has become a regular visitor to Newcastle University where he also enjoys a game of badminton. "I'm terrible at it though," Santon says.

 

By way of compensation his new English friends are taken, frequently, to the city's assorted Italian restaurants, with the Sardinian cooking at Adriano's in Gosforth a firm favourite.

 

Lately he has detected a distinct change in the local atmosphere. "Everywhere you go, everyone's talking about the derby," he says. "They tell me we have to beat Sunderland. I've been told it will be an absolutely fantastic experience but I know I'll have to keep my emotions in control. The most important thing is to stay calm."

 

Unless, of course, he scores.

 

[Howay 12496]

Quality interviews them like, cheers for posting them.

[Rhys1879SAFC 0]

You fat Greggs loving, pastrie eating, Byker, Waaaalsend, Walker, Benwell dwelling wankers looking forward to your cup final then?

 

We've got a bigger game than this coming up against Everton, I'd rather we lose against you than lose in the cup quarter-finals.

 

Keep dreaming wankers, one day you might be able to boast as much history and tradition as SAFC, doubt it though, unless an "Awab man leek wots bowt Man Shitty" takes root in that hotch potch half shed, half cliff of a stadium of yours.

 

FTM.

[Happy Face 29]

Tombola

[Davey Dave 0]

see you in another 4 months, eh?

[Dr Gloom 21915]

You fat Greggs loving, pastrie eating, Byker, Waaaalsend, Walker, Benwell dwelling wankers looking forward to your cup final then?

 

We've got a bigger game than this coming up against Everton, I'd rather we lose against you than lose in the cup quarter-finals.

 

Keep dreaming wankers, one day you might be able to boast as much history and tradition as SAFC, doubt it though, unless an "Awab man leek wots bowt Man Shitty" takes root in that hotch potch half shed, half cliff of a stadium of yours.

 

FTM.

 

Name one way Sunderland's tradition or history is better than Newcastle.

 

Nah, thought not.

 

My condolences for having to live in that hole btw. Easily one of the 5 worst towns in the country.

[Gemmill 44864]

Rhyss, get it all out now cos fuck knows if we beat you, we'll not see hide nor hair of you again this season. As for the quarter final being a bigger game, you know as well as I do that you and the rest of the downtrodden would take a win on Sunday over a win in the cup quarter final. It would give you some identity for a week or so.

[Gemmill 44864]

I love how he has absolutely no shame about the fact that he repeatedly turns up here pushing his knackers in a wheelbarrow in the week leading up to the derby, and then spends the next 6 month with a couple of raisins in his scrotum pretending this place doesn't exist. What a fucking bamp.

[mongbird 0]

 

 

Few more of these floating on the tyne on sunday me thinks

 

HAWAY the lads!!!!!!

Edited March 3, 2012 by songbird

[mongbird 0]

[Davey Dave 0]

Pardew Press conference at 9:30 on SSN, so I'm told.

[mongbird 0]

Pre Derby Day rantings...the jordies :-(

 

With an identity as a national laughing stock, aye. Every third-rate comedian has the thick, sentimental "jawdee" character getting worked up over nothing as a fall-back for a cheap laugh. Your "identity" is on a par with the boring Brummie and the thieving Scouser- fat, pastie-munching mags hanging around that big grey eyesore like flies around shit, spouting incomprehensible twaddle about "wor beloved toon". That's your identity to most people. You must be so proud.

 

What actually hurts us is that our accents are the same as yours to people outside the area and we get lumped in with you. It hurts to be associated in any way with the kind of people who hold mock funerals for the name of a football ground, who proclaim themselves a "nation" like the Catalan people and can't see how ridiculous that is, people who think they're living in some cultural oasis because woah, there's a big shopping centre over the water and a gallery with nowt of any worth in it... and fuck me if there's not a regional airport close by, there's a thing.

 

More than anything else, Newcastle United and its supporters have held back the North East as a region by sullying its image for outsiders. A region of hard-working, down to earth people who can laugh at themselves has been hijacked over the last 20 years by sanctimonious, humourless, pretentious bores droning on and on about their fucking heritage and their "geordie pride". In your determination to prove that you're the bestest, loyalest, cushtiest fans in all the world, you just give the world the impression that you have got absolutely nothing in your lives, that the only thing that can light up the darkness of your Cruddas Park grief-holes is the chance to weeble about the place dressed like giant mint humbugs grunting, "toon toon black and white army" even though you're on the bus and it's Thursday morning. You embarrass us and you embarrass the whole region.

 

[Davey Dave 0]

Pre Derby Day rantings...the jordies :-(

 

With an identity as a national laughing stock, aye. Every third-rate comedian has the thick, sentimental "jawdee" character getting worked up over nothing as a fall-back for a cheap laugh. Your "identity" is on a par with the boring Brummie and the thieving Scouser- fat, pastie-munching mags hanging around that big grey eyesore like flies around shit, spouting incomprehensible twaddle about "wor beloved toon". That's your identity to most people. You must be so proud.

 

What actually hurts us is that our accents are the same as yours to people outside the area and we get lumped in with you. It hurts to be associated in any way with the kind of people who hold mock funerals for the name of a football ground, who proclaim themselves a "nation" like the Catalan people and can't see how ridiculous that is, people who think they're living in some cultural oasis because woah, there's a big shopping centre over the water and a gallery with nowt of any worth in it... and fuck me if there's not a regional airport close by, there's a thing.

 

More than anything else, Newcastle United and its supporters have held back the North East as a region by sullying its image for outsiders. A region of hard-working, down to earth people who can laugh at themselves has been hijacked over the last 20 years by sanctimonious, humourless, pretentious bores droning on and on about their fucking heritage and their "geordie pride". In your determination to prove that you're the bestest, loyalest, cushtiest fans in all the world, you just give the world the impression that you have got absolutely nothing in your lives, that the only thing that can light up the darkness of your Cruddas Park grief-holes is the chance to weeble about the place dressed like giant mint humbugs grunting, "toon toon black and white army" even though you're on the bus and it's Thursday morning. You embarrass us and you embarrass the whole region.

 

Whereas no-one cares about you at all

 

Now run along, little boy..

[mongbird 0]

see u in the toon tomorrow kidda

[Gemmill 44864]

Pre Derby Day rantings...the jordies :-(

 

With an identity as a national laughing stock, aye. Every third-rate comedian has the thick, sentimental "jawdee" character getting worked up over nothing as a fall-back for a cheap laugh. Your "identity" is on a par with the boring Brummie and the thieving Scouser- fat, pastie-munching mags hanging around that big grey eyesore like flies around shit, spouting incomprehensible twaddle about "wor beloved toon". That's your identity to most people. You must be so proud.

 

What actually hurts us is that our accents are the same as yours to people outside the area and we get lumped in with you. It hurts to be associated in any way with the kind of people who hold mock funerals for the name of a football ground, who proclaim themselves a "nation" like the Catalan people and can't see how ridiculous that is, people who think they're living in some cultural oasis because woah, there's a big shopping centre over the water and a gallery with nowt of any worth in it... and fuck me if there's not a regional airport close by, there's a thing.

 

More than anything else, Newcastle United and its supporters have held back the North East as a region by sullying its image for outsiders. A region of hard-working, down to earth people who can laugh at themselves has been hijacked over the last 20 years by sanctimonious, humourless, pretentious bores droning on and on about their fucking heritage and their "geordie pride". In your determination to prove that you're the bestest, loyalest, cushtiest fans in all the world, you just give the world the impression that you have got absolutely nothing in your lives, that the only thing that can light up the darkness of your Cruddas Park grief-holes is the chance to weeble about the place dressed like giant mint humbugs grunting, "toon toon black and white army" even though you're on the bus and it's Thursday morning. You embarrass us and you embarrass the whole region.

 

Someone's nervous.

[Howmanheyman 33180]

Songbird bitter as fuck like every Mackem who's walked this earth.

[Dr Gloom 21915]

Pre Derby Day rantings...the jordies :-(

 

With an identity as a national laughing stock, aye. Every third-rate comedian has the thick, sentimental "jawdee" character getting worked up over nothing as a fall-back for a cheap laugh. Your "identity" is on a par with the boring Brummie and the thieving Scouser- fat, pastie-munching mags hanging around that big grey eyesore like flies around shit, spouting incomprehensible twaddle about "wor beloved toon". That's your identity to most people. You must be so proud.

 

What actually hurts us is that our accents are the same as yours to people outside the area and we get lumped in with you. It hurts to be associated in any way with the kind of people who hold mock funerals for the name of a football ground, who proclaim themselves a "nation" like the Catalan people and can't see how ridiculous that is, people who think they're living in some cultural oasis because woah, there's a big shopping centre over the water and a gallery with nowt of any worth in it... and fuck me if there's not a regional airport close by, there's a thing.

 

More than anything else, Newcastle United and its supporters have held back the North East as a region by sullying its image for outsiders. A region of hard-working, down to earth people who can laugh at themselves has been hijacked over the last 20 years by sanctimonious, humourless, pretentious bores droning on and on about their fucking heritage and their "geordie pride". In your determination to prove that you're the bestest, loyalest, cushtiest fans in all the world, you just give the world the impression that you have got absolutely nothing in your lives, that the only thing that can light up the darkness of your Cruddas Park grief-holes is the chance to weeble about the place dressed like giant mint humbugs grunting, "toon toon black and white army" even though you're on the bus and it's Thursday morning. You embarrass us and you embarrass the whole region.

 

Newcastle is the region. Newcastle is the capital of the region. Sunderland is to Newcastle what Milton Keynes is to London. It really is a horrible little town - I can understand why so many of you are bitter when you look at how deprived your town is when youve got a town like Newcastle close by.

 

 

[LoveTheBobby 1]

It's 'pastry' Rice you bubble-headed goat child .

[Kid Dynamite 7025]

Sunderland are so insignificant to me I'm going to go to their message board and post a big fuck off post telling them exactly how little I care about them, 3 times, with pictures.... Or not

Edited March 3, 2012 by J69

[LoveTheBobby 1]

The whole "FTM" fullstop on everything - it's like it's an actual part of their initials .

 

Given at birth as a souring burden for life - always there and having an effect on every day of their lives .

[themags 0]

FTM is the beginning and end of all interactions involving mackems on any subject

 

"so and so has died, FTM"

"yeah really sad news, FTM"