Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Dont tell the bride! I think the ceremony tends to take top billing. Be cool man, if you're genuinely not funny, you cant force it Top billing of the speeches I mean. I'll report back on how it goes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 If I'm never asked again it will be too soon. My brother was my best man, he's a very funny fella. He's been best man for a few of his mates and always had the room laughing (at least the rest of the lads)...not with one liners, just with stories about nights on the drink. But for mine he didn't go for laughs at all, just did a heartfelt tribute to me and my mrs. For a lad who is ALWAYS ready with a joke it was unexpected and all the better for it...he had a few of the guests blubbing. Horses for courses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15560 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 The best speeches I've seen were 10 minutes or under. I can't stress enough how important this is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I can't stress enough how important this is. current word count is 1600 so i suspect it might be more around the 20 minute mark once i've included the slides and the time spent waiting for the audience laughter after every gag i crack to subside. oh, and my standing ovation - i ought to factor that in too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10874 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 20 minutes? Shit the bed, I think mine lasted 7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 how many words was yours? i haven't run through it and timed mine yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10874 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'd definitely run it through a few times mate, if nothing else it'll highlight any troublesome bunches of words that might not be obvious written down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'd definitely run it through a few times mate, if nothing else it'll highlight any troublesome bunches of words that might not be obvious written down. i've been re-reading and editing it all week. i actually did a first draft months ago, just left it until the last minute for the fine tuning. am yet to practise saying it aloud for length. that's for this weekend. good point about the tongue twisters. it's something i have to do a lot of in my day job. like i say, i'm happy with the content, ice breaker aside. i might even drop the whole idea of an ice breaker and just get straight into the stories. i'm a bit wary of using something ripped off the internet that loads of people might have heard before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10874 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 It honestly doesn't matter if 30% of the audience have heard a groaner before, to be honest that could even endear you to them. As long as the rest of your speech isn't "Mother-in-Law"/"Take my Wife" jokes it'll be a good starter imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 just rehearsed it to my mrs and her parents. clocked in at 11 minutes and went down well. they even liked the snorting lines ice breaker, which i was surprised about as they're quite conservative about risky jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 You realise this entire thread is pointless? You're going to stand up tomorrow , open your mouth to speak, and a strangulated croak will emerge , at the same time as you realise that "NOTHING I SAY WILL BE FUNNY, THEY'LL ALL HATE ME!" This will be accompanyied by a growing dark patch as you involuntarily piss yourself at the horror, THE HORROR, of it all going so badly wrong from the first second. That, or else everything will be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13894 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Just wing it. Get your cock out and dip it in the bride's drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 You realise this entire thread is pointless? You're going to stand up tomorrow , open your mouth to speak, and a strangulated croak will emerge , at the same time as you realise that "NOTHING I SAY WILL BE FUNNY, THEY'LL ALL HATE ME!" This will be accompanyied by a growing dark patch as you involuntarily piss yourself at the horror, THE HORROR, of it all going so badly wrong from the first second. That, or else everything will be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 Speech went down a storm. Hanging out my arse today though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 So you got your cock out and dipped it in the bride's drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21965 Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 actually ended up using holden mcgroin's lines of luca icebreaker. went down well, though there were a couple of groans. the anecdotes about the groom's ocd and his lookalikes and silly pictures of him from down the years went down the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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