Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 So, you have a cordless landline , which you can't be arsed to pick up and put within reach of your sausage paws before you settle down for a slobathon? Five star laziness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 they do Don't start that shit again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10874 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Jesus Wept. You have a cordless phone, man. If the bairn keeps dialling 999, just put it within reach of you and out of reach of the kid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 He'll have a mobility scooter next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 He has a mobility scooter to get to the fridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10874 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Amazed he hasn't got a Stannah Stairlift installed already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 I've been waiting for Google voice with one phone number to reach the UK for 3 years now http://thenextweb.com/google/2012/08/25/what-ever-happened-google-voice-launching-europe/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Amazed he hasn't got a Stannah Stairlift installed already. Trough Manor's most heavily used seat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3903 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Was Onan killed for disobeying god or wanking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Was Onan killed for disobeying god or wanking? According to the Bible, he was offed by The Big Fairy for pulling out of his dead brothers widow and giving her a pearly belly. No wanking, unless he needed a hand for the money shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3903 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 According to the Bible, he was offed by The Big Fairy for pulling out of his dead brothers widow and giving her a pearly belly. No wanking, unless he needed a hand for the money shot. If he didnt have to give it a bit of a tug to finish he must have had great willpower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3366 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 If he didnt have to give it a bit of a tug to finish he must have had great willpower. Or he was on the vinegar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Depends which art you believe. Or Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10874 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Didn't the Egyptians believe the universe was created by a god having a wank? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 As opposed to the Big Bang? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Anybody have any idea what bus I can get from town to Newcastle golf course? I've got an occ health appointment next week so they've decided it would be a good idea to book it in at a place is slap bang in the middle of the golf course/Cowgate roundabout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33281 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 CT man, I'm a nurse. I've seen things you couldn't even imagine! Such as CT walk past a Greggs without so much as a glance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15560 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Anybody have any idea what bus I can get from town to Newcastle golf course? I've got an occ health appointment next week so they've decided it would be a good idea to book it in at a place is slap bang in the middle of the golf course/Cowgate roundabout. Looks like the 15(A) might be your best bet? http://www.stagecoachbus.com/PdfUploads/Timetable_29749_Newcastle%20Bus%20Guide.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 Are people who visit recycling sites in car parks etc at weird times of the day trying to hide something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4729 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 (edited) Does anybody actually pay the extra 20p or 30p for Super / Premium unleaded petrol? Edited April 7, 2013 by Christmas Tree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44993 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Are people who visit recycling sites in car parks etc at weird times of the day trying to hide something? I'm gonna take some books to the one at Kingston Park soon. If I'd remembered,I'd have done it when I first woke up at 5. More to the point, what is a taxi driver doing in a supermarket car park at 6 in the morning on a Sunday? The shops don't open til 10. Was this your stop gap solution until someone gave you an answer to your subtitled porn question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Strange one this- wasn't sure where to post so stuck it here. Had a friend request and message from a bloke who physically bullied me at school for about three years. At the time, he was a forward on the rugby team, I was about 3 stone lighter and a foot shorter, so not a fair fight. It never got to punches , but several times a day he'd get a hold of me by the neck and give it Angry Kid in my face. It went on so long ( I think) because I used to just smile at him, knowing that he wanted me to be scared of him, and I refused to be. Eventually I developed enough physically that he stopped. So, what would you do? 1. Ignore him. 2. Ignore and block 3. Accept and pretend it never happened 4. Accept and post a request on his wall asking for an apology, exposing him as a cunt. (I suspect this will not be news, as he went on to be a copper). Edit: this is not a CT style " what do I do now TT?" btw, I've already decided what to do, I'm more curious to see others' thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44993 Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Ignore him. It's not worth the energy getting into it. Realistically, all his mates/family are gonna leap to his defence and it'll become a thing that you don't need to be troubling yourself with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42472 Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Aye, that last option was never really going to happen-I've already blocked him, so he can't see, contact etc me on FB. Where it may get interesting is that his parents live directly across the street from me, and I see the cunt regularly. I'm civil to him, but that's it. ( His parents are sound btw). I can see him being the kind of tit who'll take a minor rejection like this personally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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