Ayatollah Hermione 13865 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Let me just describe my last mission. I met up with a contact of mine; a pimp who can only speak through a blinged out voice box which makes everything he says auto-tuned, and his plan to get back at a gang full of samurais is to disguise me as a gimp so I can infiltrate a brothel and wipe out everyone in there. I wake up, naked as the day as I was born and clearly drugged up to the gills. My auto-tune pimp man meets me, gives me all my guns back and we have to fight our way out. In the main auditorium, there's snipers who are looking to shoot me in the balls so the only tactic I have is to get close to them, jump at them and break their neck with the sheer force of my gigantic genitals/DDT them like The Rock. Fighting on my side is a group of angry prostitutes brandishing 4 foot long dildos and as they help me through, I reach a security panel that lets me "Release the Ho's" Doing so opens some cages and angry ho's run out and get stuck into the remaining gang members. Once they're all wiped, I (still naked) have to fight a genetically engineered 9 foot tall, 5 foot wide brick shithouse of a gang member, who is carrying a mini gun. To kill him, I have to lure him next to some explosive canisters, shoot them and blow him to bits. All while naked. Buy this game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42438 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 (edited) Deaders will be onto this again about designers using real life situations for games. Stand by for a Cunterhead onslaught Edited November 24, 2011 by Monkeys Fist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Oh for goodness sakes I give up lol this forum and boobs! Blyme. Cunterheads haha. It's crackin'. Crackin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4748 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 was great fun at eurogamer, its on my list along with a bunch of other stuff, will probably pick it up in the new year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneColdStephenIreland 74 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Me brother got it last week but havent got round to playing on it due to Skyrim being awesome and Assassins Creed, plus the odd game on FIFA, but I cant wait to get on it of the missions are gonna be like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 It just sounds so stupid though lol. I can't bring myself to waste the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13865 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 whats it like hating fun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 It just sounds so stupid though lol. I can't bring myself to waste the money. By all accounts the game is actually quite good. As opposed to Saints Row 2 which was in my opinion terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I dunno I just can't take it seriously when watching the videos.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonamental 0 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I can't help but want it now. Damn you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernMag 0 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 (edited) Isn't it just a shit version of GTA? Money well spent Edited November 24, 2011 by SouthernMag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I for one only play games I can take seriously. I keep the lighthearted stuff for when the shit hits the fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13865 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 It's exactly the same as the PS2 GTA's only taken to their logical conclusion on next gen. Don't kid yourself that those PS2 GTAs weren't immature and stupid. BTW, 2Bias, if you can sit through the plots of Resident Evil games without tearing your hair apart, surely you can appreciate a game where you can wear a shark outfit and ride a segway around and do the macarena. Games aren't meant to be taken seriously anyway. The industry's biggest seller is Modern Warfare and that's basically written by a bunch of 15 year old military fetishists who have no idea how the real world works and think that explosions and badly put-together assassination plots are cool where you leap across giant mountains on a snowmobile. One of the games industries biggest sellers is a cartoon plumber who tries to save his girlfriend from a big dinosaur. Another one is an incomprehensible story about templars and assassins where you can leap off a 250 foot tall building into a pile of hay and survive. In days gone by, Lara Croft would fight dinosaurs, yetis and enter mystical dimensions to fight off little green people. A little elf boy with no official sword training will save the day from a tyrannical genius with help from a talking tree and a boomerang. Metal Gear Solid is so ridiculous I won't even start. Resident Evil, I'm fairly sure, is designed by insane Japanese prisoners of war who have watched too many Twilight Zone episodes. My point is, more games should embrace the inherent stupidity involved in video games. Saints Row does and is great and if you're not playing a video game over concerns of its stupidity then have a word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4748 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Isn't it just a shit version of GTA? Money well spent no, no its not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 It's exactly the same as the PS2 GTA's only taken to their logical conclusion on next gen. Don't kid yourself that those PS2 GTAs weren't immature and stupid. BTW, 2Bias, if you can sit through the plots of Resident Evil games without tearing your hair apart, surely you can appreciate a game where you can wear a shark outfit and ride a segway around and do the macarena. Games aren't meant to be taken seriously anyway. The industry's biggest seller is Modern Warfare and that's basically written by a bunch of 15 year old military fetishists who have no idea how the real world works and think that explosions and badly put-together assassination plots are cool where you leap across giant mountains on a snowmobile. One of the games industries biggest sellers is a cartoon plumber who tries to save his girlfriend from a big dinosaur. Another one is an incomprehensible story about templars and assassins where you can leap off a 250 foot tall building into a pile of hay and survive. In days gone by, Lara Croft would fight dinosaurs, yetis and enter mystical dimensions to fight off little green people. A little elf boy with no official sword training will save the day from a tyrannical genius with help from a talking tree and a boomerang. Metal Gear Solid is so ridiculous I won't even start. Resident Evil, I'm fairly sure, is designed by insane Japanese prisoners of war who have watched too many Twilight Zone episodes. My point is, more games should embrace the inherent stupidity involved in video games. Saints Row does and is great and if you're not playing a video game over concerns of its stupidity then have a word. LOL come on?!? Resident Evil is awesome. Great story. I just find it hard to part money on silly games, this is because I worry i'll get bored within an hour and bam £40 gone. I did play Saints Row 1 and the story there was ok. Even then I didn't finish it :-/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 £40 is nothing tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13865 Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Sorry mate but Resident Evil's story is baffling nonsense at times. Resident Evil 4 is probably a better game than Saints Row 3, granted but the plot of that stuff is crazy. In fact, I'd go as far to say only a handful of video games have had compelling plots. Mass Effect has a great universe but ME2 sort of let it down. Early Silent Hill games are good for it and Planescape is canny. Majority of them are really silly conceits played straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 After saying I wouldn't waste money on this I decided to take a punt on the game. It was in the 2 for £20 bin along with Crackdown 2 in GAME. Will give it a try this week. Anyone else enjoy this or have I wasted my £££££££ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inglez 0 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Aye, it's class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Aye, it's class. From what I've heard it's not got much of a story line but is fun. Aeroplanes etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13865 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 My first post should tell you all you need to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 My first post should tell you all you need to know. Yeah seen now. Should of looked D'oh. Have you completed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bias 3 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 This game is wank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now