Long ass request for advice - my job is driving me insane, do i leave it?

[ToonMarshy 2]

Alright, this is going to get a little lengthy so i'll apoloigse in advance, but this has been a long past few years with everything leading up to this one point where im literally a few words away from making the best/ or worst decision i have yet to make - and i feel the more info i give the better the response could be.

 

I've been working as a factory handler in a small town i live in for about 4 years now, it started of as a 'mindless job to save up some cash' but has become the sole thing that dictates my life, and everything i do within it.

 

I'd lived away from home and been made redundant prior to getting this job, and as such had to move back in with my parents, and start searching for ANYTHING that would produce money.

When i was given a position for the company I was overjoyed, and gladly accepted as much responsibility as possible, eager to show that i could surpass expectations.

 

I took on the fastest paced and most physical job in the department, and though the hours were bad (1pm - 11pm) i had nothing else going for me besides work, so i relished in the cash and moved on with it.

 

After a year and a half the 'honeymoon' was over and i began to feel like i was not really achieving anything, i began looking into different roles within the company but of course, as with any 'step-up' job there is little chance for anyone bar the person they want before the position is even vacant.

Around that point the dept. manager that hired me left to manage his own company, and the replacement... well she's the worst person i've met in my life - she absolutely despises me for some reason, has the worst management skills i've ever seen, and to top it all off, has me by the balls and i feel there's fuck all i can do about it.

 

She has no idea how to handle people or employees, and makes the dodgy procedures of the company glaringly obvious! she frequently runs out of the buildign crying whenever things get too much for her and will always 'shout first and get the facts later' about any situation - twinned witht he fact that she has no idea about how any of the jobs we do actually work / are to experience, yet constantly changes the procedures and methods of doing them and you get a clusterfuck of a work life.

 

All this time i was still looking for other jobs - however in the town i live in there is LITERALLY about 4 places of work, and they very rarely (if ever) hire - there's very few places within sensible travel distance, and with the current work climate any that are available dry up real quick.

 

It was then that everything at home went to shit, my long term (8 years) girlfriend had been hinting at moving out together - but I didnt want to tie myself to the company any more than necessary, and having more bills would definitely add to that.

 

I found out my dad had been stealing from me for years and using it to pay off random debts he had accrued without anyone in the family knowing. I had stupidly in my youth got a store credit card and purchased some items on it, as a 'way of making sure that it gets paid off as i can't be trusted' he said i should give him an extra 150 quid per month on top of the 250 month rent i gave, being my dad i trusted him.

This became the norm for well over a year or so until one day my credit statement that he normally recieved and filed away came into my posession, and there had been no payments made towards it - i'd been throwing half my paycheck at him for nearly 2 years and he'd outright lied to me.

 

I lost a hell of a lot of respect and honestly didn't know how to react. I didn't have long to think about it, it acted as a catalyst for a lot of sunken shit to flare up, my mother cheated on him repeatedly and he found out, when she moved out he went nuts and tried to burn the flat down she had relocated to - he was arrested.

Now i had no family in the area to rely on (bar my mother but she was hardly stable) and regrettably, decided that moving out with my girlfriend was the only real solution to try and keep shit afloat.

 

Things at work under that manager got worse and worse, she switched me onto the most ridiculously mind numbing job in the building (sitting isolated in a dark windowless aisle, scanning cardigans onto a shelf for 9 hours straight) and brought in 4 of her employees from the last dept she worked at to do the job i had done before.

 

4 of them - to do what i had done solo.

 

She started finding reasons and methods to give me warnings and constantly compared me to the lads she had brought in (despite the fact that between them they dont even cover half the tasks i managed) and any time i tried to protest, was shot down with no rhyme or reason.

 

At one point i was recovering from kidney stone treatment and while inserting back into work, still required frequent urination breaks while the stent tubing was in.

one of the guys complained and i was punished for 'spending too much time away from work area' when i pointed out that the lad who had dobbed me in usually takes at least 12 fag breaks a day, i was told

 

"at least i know he's old enough that i can trust him, he deserves more respect, and if i need ot make an example out of you, i will"

 

Believe me that's probably one of the LEAST stupid things shes said over the years.

 

At this point it all got a bit much, i was a horrible person to be around, constantly sad, constantly worrying, treating my gf (unkowingly) like shit and generally falling to bits.

 

After my kidney treatment i had a revelation of sorts, i needed to man up, to get out there and fucking show them that whatever they threw at me, i could handle it. I may not have a choice how work treats me, but i have full control over everything else.

I joined a gym, i took up kickboxing and kung fu,i played football in sunday and monday leagues, I made a concious effort to be as good as i possibly could - to enjoy everything outside of work so much that it didnt hit me as hard while i searched for another job.

 

It's been a year since i made that decision and i've never felt better - however now theres a situation coming up, in a weeks time we are moving towards the 'night shifts' working stupidly late shifts and with the ability for her to change the shift at less than 24 hours notice.

 

She has rejiggled the contracts so now i am working back on the job that requires late work again (whilst her 4 workers are now back on early shift jobs) and i will be the sole person working a shift that basically, will end my ability to do any of the shit that's kept me sane for the past year or so.

I've tried to reason with her and moved all my activities to one day, asking that if i could finish two hours and start two hours earlier on that day, i could still do all i wanted and she could still get her slave - even offering to stay and miss my activities at no extra charge on an individual day if needed.

 

No dice

 

All the time whilst she is manouvering everyone elses shifts to cover them from having to work the shift.

 

Two years ago when this happened the first time it wasnt a big deal, i had nothing really going for me and lived to work. since then i've built up a life and a better relationship, that for the next 9 months if i put up with her shit and take the shift, will be null and void until she deems it necessary for us to go back to normal work - and i honestly dont think i can do it.

I remember what it did to me the last time, and how much of a wreck i was - not seeing my girlfriend bar one day a week and throwing the past years worth of money and training down the drain just does not seem like an option im willing to explore.

 

I've looked at things in a 'worst case scenario' and figured financially i could cover myself for about 4/5 months without work (covering all bills) whilst looking for another job if shit got bad.

My girlfriend has said she'll support me no matter what and can afford the place on her own if need be, but i will not be the man to put her in that position - im meant to be the person she chose to make her life better, not more strenuous.

Also - those 4 months of job searching arent promising in this area, especially witht he past 3 years of searching failure to stack up against.

 

So - what would you guys/gals do? Do i put everything on hold and condemn myself to 9 months of hell whilst hoping for an out while working in a job that is physically, mentally takig it out of me - the way i have done til this point?

or

Do i offer my boss a halfway point, and state that if she doesnt take it, then consider it my notice, and put myself out there fully committed and hope for the best?

 

Sorry for the essay, but it's been a long period of time now, and i normally wouldnt even consider the latter option unless shit had been pretty ridiculous up til this point, and felt if if i threw it all out there you'd have a btter understanding.

 

Also im aware that it may seem like a total first world problem, and i know that we are not all unique and beautiful snowflakes, i know the majority of the population will sit in a factory doing shit they hate and leave no mark on the earth bar tax forms - and don't see myself as an exception.

But i'll be damned if that doesn't mean i cant push for better and equal treatment.

 

cheers for any advice / criticisms, im pretty much 80% leaning on telling that place to fuck itself, but right now i'm that woudn up about the whole thing, i don't know if i can trust my own judgement!

[Monkeys Fist 42484]

Put your notice in.

Without the shit job dragging you down and sucking the life out of you, you'll find a job within the time period you've said.

 

Even if you take a drop on pay, sounds like you need to get out of there ASAP.

[Tom 14013]

You do get workplaces like that & sometimes the best way is to just be quiet, non opinionated and get on with it...

 

but who the fuck is really like that? Yes some people but certainly not people who think about their lives often.

 

I would keep a diary of how she's been treating you (individually & in comparison to the others) and file an official grievance with your HR department. It would probably be advisable to mention any health problems & how - coupled with her disparity and bad management - they have effected your work & I suppose out of work life.

 

I think a HR advisor will be able to read you your rights & company policies to see what you can do.

 

Hope it works out for you mate!

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Move towns.

[Kitman 2207]

Put your notice in.

Without the shit job dragging you down and sucking the life out of you, you'll find a job within the time period you've said.

 

Even if you take a drop on pay, sounds like you need to get out of there ASAP.

 

I agree with the Monkey. It doesn't sound like you have any leverage to get a better deal and there's no point working for someone who doesn't rate you and makes your life shit, and offers nothing in return. I'd look on this as a great opportunity to make some positive changes, and to take control in the same way you have on other fronts in your life. The key thing is to back yourself to do it and find something with better prospects and a better work/life balance. Good luck anyway.

Edited October 27, 2011 by Kitman

[Park Life 71]

Strapped in and ready to rock.

[Gemmill 44995]

Reading what you've written, I think there's only one option really - you can't go back to being her bitch at the expense of your life and your relationship. So given that that's the choice, you need to think about how best to handle that situation.

 

If there's someone on here who knows a bit about employment law, they might be able to advise on whether you have any sort of case against her for constructive dismissal. I might be completely wrong about this, but if she's pissing about with your shifts, and putting all the demands on you for the unsociable hours, and isn't prepared to recognise your outside commitments at all, then she's effectively putting you in a position where you have to leave. You'd need to get some good advice before you went down that sort of route though.

 

Failing that, you probably need to just hand your notice in and back yourself to find work in the 4 to 5 month timeframe that you've set yourself. Fucking tough decision in this economy, but you can't go back to being miserable again for this cow.

[CleeToonFan 1]

Kill this bitch of a boss

[Monkeys Fist 42484]

Move towns.

Is this an option for you?

You're in your mid twenties, sounds like the only tie you have is your lass. Would she move ?

If she's willing to , this could be a new start for you both.

 

 

[Park Life 71]

Need some details first.

 

age

quals

the size of your balls

[Gemmill 44995]

If they move town, they've both got to find a new job. Doesn't sound wise.

[Gemmill 44995]

Need some details first.

 

age

quals

the size of your balls

 

Parky taking applications for a new house boy.

[Park Life 71]

Kill this bitch of a boss

 

Not a good idea in a small town.

[Brock Manson 0]

Can't you leave and take up a part-time job, do a course or something? I volunteered for a year after I graduated as there was no work and I loved every minute of it, met some brilliant people who I still keep in touch with months after moving away.

 

Just to get a new qualification or new experiences so you can regroup and try something else. Geez you're still young enough to do a degree!

 

It's never too late to try something new. I did an english degree and now I'm studying for a project management qualification to see where that takes me. Sure as hell beats being stuck in something shit like M&S or a pub like I was previously.

[ToonMarshy 2]

Cheers for the responses so far fellas, i'll quickly reply to the ones i can;

 

 

You do get workplaces like that & sometimes the best way is to just be quiet, non opinionated and get on with it...

 

but who the fuck is really like that? Yes some people but certainly not people who think about their lives often.

 

I would keep a diary of how she's been treating you (individually & in comparison to the others) and file an official grievance with your HR department. It would probably be advisable to mention any health problems & how - coupled with her disparity and bad management - they have effected your work & I suppose out of work life.

 

I think a HR advisor will be able to read you your rights & company policies to see what you can do.

 

Hope it works out for you mate!

 

This was one of the first things i did, thing is they are very insular in this place, and many of the practices are dodgy by any standard - when they changed us onto these 24 hour notice contracts it was put forward as 'voluntary to support the dept.' i naturally turned them down as i smelt the bullshit coming a mile off, cue 2 weeks of almost daily meetings in which my manager and her boss in co uncertain terms layed out if i didn't take the contract, i wouldnt get a new one at all. needing the money and all , i buckled.

 

They like to hire loads of staff over the holidays on full time contracts with a 'trial period' then offload them after a month to cover peak work rates. Then pay out the 'xmas bonus' money the following year to be sure the temporary hires dont get payed the extra.

 

 

Move towns.

Is this an option for you?

You're in your mid twenties, sounds like the only tie you have is your lass. Would she move ?

If she's willing to , this could be a new start for you both.

 

Another option we've considered, we are both 24 and whilst i have no real ties left here anymore, Sarah is still fairly close to her family, and had never really left the area, nor gmoved out before with me, so she isn't too hot on the idea.

 

That and we dont have a lot of saved income between us, so moving to a new jobless area for both of us has every potential too go wrong

 

 

Need some details first.

 

age

quals

the size of your balls

 

both of us are 24, i gathered C's and above on all my gcse's and am qualified up to A level standard on nowadays 'norms' ( english, it, etc) decided against uni because of the fact i was still unsure with what i wanted to do with my life and didnt wanna sit on a 3 year piss up running up debt.

 

Ball size? phsyically - pretty battered after many nutshots in sunday league, and hang a little to the left. as for 'balls' originally fairly small and a bit of a walkover, currently feeling damned confident and up for taking a risk, but still got that little uncertainty in my mind.

 

 

Kill this bitch of a boss

 

Though outright killing her would be a bit of overkill - i do really spend far too much time thinking how much better my life would be if she had never came into it.

 

Thing is, i'm fairly sure that mentally i am already out the door, and as already mentioned by one of you earlier, im sure that being totally free of that place, would put me in a much better position to tackle my actual next step, just not being in that place/state would increase everything dramatically. it's just so hard to voluntarily put yourself in such a hard position. Almost like im just looking for some kind of indication that 'yeah, just fucking go for it'

 

 

Can't you leave and take up a part-time job, do a course or something? I volunteered for a year after I graduated as there was no work and I loved every minute of it, met some brilliant people who I still keep in touch with months after moving away.

 

Just to get a new qualification or new experiences so you can regroup and try something else. Geez you're still young enough to do a degree!

 

It's never too late to try something new. I did an english degree and now I'm studying for a project management qualification to see where that takes me. Sure as hell beats being stuck in something shit like M&S or a pub like I was previously.

 

This too is something i've considered, even if it's just part time to save more money to tide me over until i get a 'proper' job. At this time of year many places hire temp staff to cover the peak break - and a 20 odd hour a week job would still leave me plenty of time to figure out something i want to / am capable of doing without losing everything except work.

In an ideal scenario this would be the best outcome, something that is allowing me to both better myself and prepare for a better future, and at the same time allowed me to do everything i normally do and keep the mrs happy. I guess it's just figuring out exactly what it is i should work towards is holding me back from this one.

 

 

Cheers again for the replies so far lads, even though i've not really had a revelation or owt, just letting it off and bouncing back and forth between the options is doing me the world of good for reassuring myself im not insane.

[Lazarus 0]

dont sign anything and you might wanna start keeping a diary of the shit she does to you - as said, you may have a case for constructive dismissal. speak to acas asap.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

If they move town, they've both got to find a new job. Doesn't sound wise.

 

Sounds like a dead-end town though, no jobs going. It's the same in my town and I plan on moving before I'm 25, probably to London. Dead towns with little opportunity = rubbish jobs without the prospect of upward mobility/fulfillment. Worth a shot at something better whilst you're young and not tied down, sounds like he's in deep with the lass though and she doesn't fancy shifting.

[jonasjuice 0]

Put it in her pooper.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

What town are you living in TM if you don't mind me asking? We're all going to die, think long and hard about whether you're going to be happy having stayed there your entire life when it ends.

[trophyshy 7083]

Do you have a foothold in a city where there is more opportunity? Time to move on if you can.

 

You seem far too intelligent to be scanning cardigans or whatever the hell you're up to, could it be that's the reason you're not liked by this splitarse?

[ToonMarshy 2]

What town are you living in TM if you don't mind me asking? We're all going to die, think long and hard about whether you're going to be happy having stayed there your entire life when it ends.

 

Nah i don't mind mate, It's a place called Oakham, in Rutland.

There are trains and the like of around an hour to 'city like' locations such as Leicester and Nottingham, however most job searches in those places are commission based marketing and sales, i know it seems pretty contrary to say 'ill do anything to get away' and not even consider things like that, but something about those kind of positions sits dodgy on me xD

 

I definitely am not of the mind to stay here for life, i've got some good mates, and spent my 'growing up' years here gaining some good memories. But the thought of still being here in a decades time? just doesn't appeal.

 

 

Do you have a foothold in a city where there is more opportunity? Time to move on if you can.

 

You seem far too intelligent to be scanning cardigans or whatever the hell you're up to, could it be that's the reason you're not liked by this splitarse?

 

I guess so, i mean you never want to blow your own trumpet (though any bloke that says they wouldn't if they could is a liar!) but i read it as she seems to think that keeping people in fear of their jobs and introducing stupid procedures and methods whilst increasing targets is an effective way of keeping people on the ball, i'd say that in fact encouragement and incentive would be a much better motivator, but i guess that's why i'm not a manager!

 

As for footholds, me father was in the forces for my entire life, never lived anywhere for more than a year or two at a time, only really settled here when he got his ankle fucked up in northern ireland and was medically discharged,

Both sets of parents relatives and the rest of my family all live up in newcastle, though because of the on/off relationship with how they saw my parents manage - i've never really spent a lot of time with them beyond mandatory visits as a young 'un.

Still it is something we have considered, especially as the gf's extended family are scottish and still live up there, meaning easier visits for her.

[CleeToonFan 1]

Kill this bitch of a boss

 

Not a good idea in a small town.

I'd love it if he lived in London then , hordes of posters saying "Well, it's not morally okay but it would be easier to get away with it, just kill her". The whole of Toontastic giving an alibi in Court

 

Seriously though Marshy, you'd be better off getting outta that town, I think it'd be a decision that could definitely be the best decision you've ever made. It may take a year or two to get proper "settled" again but a year or two compared with a lifetime of unhappiness with your job?

Edited October 27, 2011 by CleeToonFan

[trophyshy 7083]

What town are you living in TM if you don't mind me asking? We're all going to die, think long and hard about whether you're going to be happy having stayed there your entire life when it ends.

 

Nah i don't mind mate, It's a place called Oakham, in Rutland.

There are trains and the like of around an hour to 'city like' locations such as Leicester and Nottingham, however most job searches in those places are commission based marketing and sales, i know it seems pretty contrary to say 'ill do anything to get away' and not even consider things like that, but something about those kind of positions sits dodgy on me xD

 

I definitely am not of the mind to stay here for life, i've got some good mates, and spent my 'growing up' years here gaining some good memories. But the thought of still being here in a decades time? just doesn't appeal.

 

 

Do you have a foothold in a city where there is more opportunity? Time to move on if you can.

 

You seem far too intelligent to be scanning cardigans or whatever the hell you're up to, could it be that's the reason you're not liked by this splitarse?

 

I guess so, i mean you never want to blow your own trumpet (though any bloke that says they wouldn't if they could is a liar!) but i read it as she seems to think that keeping people in fear of their jobs and introducing stupid procedures and methods whilst increasing targets is an effective way of keeping people on the ball, i'd say that in fact encouragement and incentive would be a much better motivator, but i guess that's why i'm not a manager!

 

As for footholds, me father was in the forces for my entire life, never lived anywhere for more than a year or two at a time, only really settled here when he got his ankle fucked up in northern ireland and was medically discharged,

Both sets of parents relatives and the rest of my family all live up in newcastle, though because of the on/off relationship with how they saw my parents manage - i've never really spent a lot of time with them beyond mandatory visits as a young 'un.

Still it is something we have considered, especially as the gf's extended family are scottish and still live up there, meaning easier visits for her.

 

If where you are is now completely arbitrary and you're old enough to call the shots, then start calling them mate. There's better opportunity in Newcastle. Try and build bridges now you're grown up, you might actually like one or two of them.

 

I've not mentioned you quitting this job because you're already out of there. How can you let yourself continue to have that present/future? You're too good for those cunts and they know it. Society being what it is you're not encouraged to better yourself by your superior, you are denigrated as you remind them of their own inadequacies. Onwards and upwards for you (acknowledging you might have to gan backwards for a bit first).

[Tom 14013]

 

 

You seem far too intelligent to be scanning cardigans or whatever the hell you're up to, could it be that's the reason you're not liked by this splitarse?

 

You may have hit the nail on the head there!

[Kevin 1]

Don't like something stop doing it, lifes too short to be doing things you hate, leave your job on a high, do something amazing. I left my job by claiming employee discount when i was no longer an employee hehe, didn't go back for a reference incase i got in trouble