Long ass request for advice - my job is driving me insane, do i leave it?

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Woah there, such a badass. Did you tell mummy you were asleep and then kept the light on too?

[Park Life 71]

Let's start at the beginning fella.

 

Firstly I want you to imagine and re-imagine over the next few days that this is YOUR LIFE and that YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF IT.

 

(Not the woman at work, not your girlfriend, not the town, not your family, not the dog, or any other types who might have your attention).

 

Generally speaking when we forget this the hassles start and we all forget it from time to time.

 

Inside of you is a really strong person who can do almost anything but he needs you to open the door.

 

Then we can begin.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Relax your mind, your sphincter will follow.

 

Then we can begin.

[Monkeys Fist 42484]

You mention Nottingham/Leicester being near(ish). Could you shift there but have your lass keep her job and travel?

Have you considered university/ further education, with a part time job?

 

 

Failing all that , is your lass fit? Get some jive-ass threads and hit the streets

[Dr Gloom 21965]

TM, the worries in your post are striking. puts my own concerns about work and life into perspective. you're clearly a clever bloke. is factory work the best thing going for you? particularly working for a bitch like that? i'd move the fuck away from that town. apply for a more satisfying job elsewhere. it might take a while and you might not have much money for a bit but it sounds like it could be a risk worth taking, especially if you can persuade your other half to come with. get yourself down london mate the streets are paved with gold down here. well, perhaps not, but there are more well paid jobs going here than anywhere else.

[peasepud 59]

Kick her back doors in

 

seriously though, have you considered home working if you dont want to move?

 

You definitely appear to have a good alibi for going sick with stress, that'll give you a nice bit time to look for something else/ plan relocation etc etc and you never know, you could get a payoff if you threaten court.

[Gejon 2]

Feel for you mate.

 

From reading your post you seem like an intelligent, well educated guy and if I am not sounding a prick this job sounds beneath you anyway. If you lived a lot closer to me there are a number of jobs going that you would be far more suitable in.

 

To be honest most of us don't really like our jobs but you really sound like it's making your life hell and it's too short for that bullshit. Best of luck with whatever you do, I hope you find an opportunity more deserving of you.

[peasepud 59]

[if where you are is now completely arbitrary and you're old enough to call the shots, then start calling them mate. There's better opportunity in Newcastle. Try and build bridges now you're grown up, you might actually like one or two of them.

Surely theres no work up here building bridges? we've got loads already

[The Fish 10876]

Kick her in the Fanny

 

The previous advice is spot on. Time to take control sir.

[ewerk 30679]

So you've already signed a new contract with this company stating that you will do shift work? If not then you could have refused to do it.

 

Is there any scope for moving within the company so that you're not working for this bitch?

 

The final resort would be to move somewhere new, there are quite a few people on this board who've done it and I'm sure would share their experiences. Do you still want to be in the same small town in 20 years time? Doing the same shit things? Seeing the same people?

 

You're only 24, if you can make a real effort to gather up some money now then it's a fantastic time to move somewhere new and a lot more exciting. If it doesn't work out then you haven't lost anything but if it does then you'll find yourself a lot happier than you are now.

[ajax_andy 0]

Just wanted to add my take on things to the OP:

 

1) You hate your job and rightly so... tbh how you've stuck it this long I do not know! Credit where credit's due there, but seriously it reached breaking point a long time ago and you are falling in to the trap of being more afraid to leave because of the unknown, then you are of staying there IMO... Its a common trap people fall in to, but you have your whole life ahead of you and to stay in a horrendeous job with no prospects is beyond foolish... it will actually ruin your life and leave you with regrets of what you could have done if you'd got out while you were still young and didn't have commitments like a mortgage and kids. Once you have these you WILL be stuck and it WILL be too late.

 

2) Where you live sounds like a dead end area, so even if you get out of this job then what? You need to go where the work is, yes its a risk to leave for somewhere else if you dont have a job, but guess what? If you go to a decent sized city they have recruitment agencies that will at the very least get you a temp job... my wife lost her job over a year ago, went to every recruitment agency in Newcastle and had a new one in 2 weeks. It was only temping but it kept her ticking over until a full time position came along.

 

3) What are your goals, ambitions and hopes for your life? How do you intend on achieveing them? What skills and qualifications do you have? Are you worried you dont have enough to compete in the job market? If so why dont you go to Uni? Quit your job, move to a city and attend a Uni, get a degree, live in student digs or a shared house and get a bar job or call centre job part time to help pay the bills while you study.

 

4) Is your girlfriend willing to go where ever you need to go to make you happy? Would she follow you to the ends of the earth if it meant you were happy and fulfilled your ambitions and dreams? Or is she a small town girl who doesn't want to leave where she grew up and wants you to stay there even if it makes you unhappy? If its the latter then is she really the right woman for you? If it's the former then you can move together and start a new and exciting life together.

 

Lots of questions I know but I just wanted you to think about your life in the long term and not just the short term.

 

I'm speaking from personal experience with a lot of the above, I moved to Newcastle for a girl who wouldn't follow me to Leeds where I wanted to live, she wasn't right for me so I left her and eventually found a woman who would litteraly follow me to Mars if I wanted to relocate there. She was a small town girl and our ambitions in life just didn't match, however my wife supports me with every decision I make, even if it were to the detriment of herself.

 

I've had jobs where I felt I was stuck trapped and unhappy, so each time I've re-trained and moved on to something new... it's not easy, its a always a risk, but life is about taking risks... If you settle for 2nd best you'll always feel like you haven't lived your life the way you should have.

 

Reading your story you don't just need a small change or adjustment, IMO you need to evaluate EVERY aspect of your life, and TBH change a huge part of it... You need something to get the blood pumping through your vains again and new and exciting challenges.

 

There's always a million reasons not to do something, If I were you I'd stop looking at these and look at the reasons why you must do something and why you must do it now, and then I'd make it happen.

 

Good luck!

[Phil 6]

Do i offer my boss a halfway point, and state that if she doesnt take it, then consider it my notice, and put myself out there fully committed and hope for the best?

 

What did you have in mind?

 

I think your boss would be open to you switching departments. You could use the unsociable hours as a good reason. Maybe you could swap with someone in the department she worked got the four replacements from?

 

If you live in a small town, work will be very thin on the ground. But you need to make sure you are happy, send your CV out. It really sounds like McDonalds would be easier.

[peasepud 59]

If you live in a small town, work will be very thin on the ground. But you need to make sure you are happy, send your CV out. It really sounds like McDonalds would be easier.

Not really, he could be managed by someone like Kevin

[Kevin 1]

[Kevin 1]

I'm left mcdonalds btw

[Kitman 2207]

I'm left mcdonalds btw

 

....and unable to construct a simple sentence?

[ToonMarshy 2]

Alreet lads, been out and about the past couple of days and haven't had the chance to sit down and read through replies.

 

After thinking about it all i've decided to offer her the 'olive branch' on monday and if there's no chance of her meeting half way then i shall give her my notice and call it a day.

Like you guys have said, right now i've got the time and lack of major responsibility to recover should shit go tits up and it isn;t really an incentive to stay there and be walked over/miserable.

 

Ive moved my training to a weekend and all i'll be asking is to start and finish work 2 hours earlier on a monday so i can still do my football/see the mrs before she goes to work - though if it becomes necessary for me to stay for the extra 2 hours because of being busy then i shall do so at no extra charge. then i dont really mind about the rest of the week. Can't really see why she'd have an issue with it other than her being a massive thundercunt - but if the options are

 

1) do as we say and we give no wiggle room for you - continue to treat you like a cunt and you have no life

or

2) get the hell out of dodge and force myself into a better position, then that is what i'm going to do.

 

Funnily enough on friday i got home form work to two answerphone messages on me landline from 2 different companies i'd sent my c.v to saying they want to set up an interview next week - that kind of helped rest any issues i had about m 'emplyability' i know that neither of those jobs are guaranteed gets yet - but i can and will find other jobs should the need arise.

 

Also spoke to the mrs at length about what we actually wanted to do and where we wanted to be in the future and she admitted that this place was not really long term friendly and that at some point we should get out of dodge.

She's putting the last year or so into her nvq qualifications that the hospital she works at are paying to put her through, so we agreed that we should start hoarding a 'fuck you fund' between us for the forseeable future til she's got the funds saved then look at moving to somewhere with more opportunities. Also rang my extended family who all life up in Newcastle and asked about the possibility of when said time arrives, being put up between them until we got jobs and a place of our own up there and they seemed fairly warm to the idea, saying they were surprised we hadnt retreated back to the toon already as soon as my actual parents went off the rails and left us with no support down here.

 

All in all reading back my OP it seems fairly obvious that there was never really any other outcome than me gettign the hell out of there, and just thinking about it with a bit more clarity (not im angry at work and hate them so fuck off !) and actually making some kind of plan to try and follow just makes the whole damn thing seem trivial!

 

Cheers for your replies everyone, really appreciate the fact you's took the time to talk up a daft whinging 24 year old thatv you's don't really know. Top effort.

 

I'm off to me sunday league now - so i bid you all have a cracking sunday, and return in time to see us pull our hair out over the stoke game!

[peasepud 59]

LIke I say, I wouldnt hand in your notice, go on the sick with stress.

 

 

She'll shit bricks

[Guest alex]

Spot the civil servants btw

[Park Life 71]

Alreet lads, been out and about the past couple of days and haven't had the chance to sit down and read through replies.

 

After thinking about it all i've decided to offer her the 'olive branch' on monday and if there's no chance of her meeting half way then i shall give her my notice and call it a day.

Like you guys have said, right now i've got the time and lack of major responsibility to recover should shit go tits up and it isn;t really an incentive to stay there and be walked over/miserable.

 

Ive moved my training to a weekend and all i'll be asking is to start and finish work 2 hours earlier on a monday so i can still do my football/see the mrs before she goes to work - though if it becomes necessary for me to stay for the extra 2 hours because of being busy then i shall do so at no extra charge. then i dont really mind about the rest of the week. Can't really see why she'd have an issue with it other than her being a massive thundercunt - but if the options are

 

1) do as we say and we give no wiggle room for you - continue to treat you like a cunt and you have no life

or

2) get the hell out of dodge and force myself into a better position, then that is what i'm going to do.

 

Funnily enough on friday i got home form work to two answerphone messages on me landline from 2 different companies i'd sent my c.v to saying they want to set up an interview next week - that kind of helped rest any issues i had about m 'emplyability' i know that neither of those jobs are guaranteed gets yet - but i can and will find other jobs should the need arise.

 

Also spoke to the mrs at length about what we actually wanted to do and where we wanted to be in the future and she admitted that this place was not really long term friendly and that at some point we should get out of dodge.

She's putting the last year or so into her nvq qualifications that the hospital she works at are paying to put her through, so we agreed that we should start hoarding a 'fuck you fund' between us for the forseeable future til she's got the funds saved then look at moving to somewhere with more opportunities. Also rang my extended family who all life up in Newcastle and asked about the possibility of when said time arrives, being put up between them until we got jobs and a place of our own up there and they seemed fairly warm to the idea, saying they were surprised we hadnt retreated back to the toon already as soon as my actual parents went off the rails and left us with no support down here.

 

All in all reading back my OP it seems fairly obvious that there was never really any other outcome than me gettign the hell out of there, and just thinking about it with a bit more clarity (not im angry at work and hate them so fuck off !) and actually making some kind of plan to try and follow just makes the whole damn thing seem trivial!

 

Cheers for your replies everyone, really appreciate the fact you's took the time to talk up a daft whinging 24 year old thatv you's don't really know. Top effort.

 

I'm off to me sunday league now - so i bid you all have a cracking sunday, and return in time to see us pull our hair out over the stoke game!

 

Good luck mate. And the nasty things that you might think will happen if you move often don't and a lot of it is in the mind ie leaving familiarity behind.

 

You can do it.

[Kitman 2207]

Parky's right. Fear of the unknown is the enemy....but if you don't build it up to be a big deal and remain positive about the possibilities, it'll be easier than you think.

[trophyshy 7083]

How's it all going mate?

[Kevin 1]

nosey bastard

[trophyshy 7083]

Bloody hell Kevin, I didn't realise you were still around.

 

How's it all going?