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Pet Hates!


catmag
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People spouting shite about topics they are almost entirely ignorant of. Every bastard has an opinion on everything even if its far too complicated to be digested by their limited thought processes.

 

Don't get me wrong, everyone (including me) will think they get something, only to be later proven wrong. My issue is that there so many serial offenders, its untrue. People who have built up a self-expectation that everyone thinks they're an oracle of knowledge and feel duty bound to give their thought on the matter.

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People who use the word "like" inappropriately.

 

Such as, "I've been like working from like home for the last like week or so, so I'm like canny like fresh"

 

Uncontrollably irritates the hell out of me.

 

I love adding "like" to the end of a sentence me like. Not in the middle like. That's mad.

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Fans singing 'we shall not be moved' at games.

 

Where has this come from? It makes no sense and the same fans never make good on their song and stay put.

 

I've never recalled a time in my years watching live football where fans just sing the exact same songs at each other every game. Think it started when that 'easy, easy' chant appeared and there's been a dumbing down of crowds since.

 

At least no-one sings sloop john b anymore.

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I'm currently on a train. There's a Chinese man next to me absolutely howling down the phone at someone. There's also a very loud, posh woman a couple of rows back talking overly loudly to "Richarrrrrd dahhhhling" and it's thoroughly annoying. They better all be getting off at the next stop.

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I'm currently on a train. There's a Chinese man next to me absolutely howling down the phone at someone. There's also a very loud, posh woman a couple of rows back talking overly loudly to "Richarrrrrd dahhhhling" and it's thoroughly annoying. They better all be getting off at the next stop.

 

 

I fack hate Eenglass tlain passanjas, especially women, who giww me dirty look jus cos I berate honourwable wife, Ling Tong, on my samsung phone, then post on footbol forwam whinging about it.

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People holding their phone horizontal with it's base near their mouth as they talk. What the pissing shitting twatting fuck is this about?!

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People holding their phone horizontal with it's base near their mouth as they talk. What the pissing shitting twatting fuck is this about?!

 

They like to pretend that the phone is a penis. When you look away, they're almost certainly violently fellating the phone.

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They like to pretend that the phone is a penis. When you look away, they're almost certainly violently fellating the phone.

It's the girls who bend their wrists back and speak into the thing's base while twitching the head and calling whoever is the poor sap on the other end a litany of colourfully offensive epithets

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It's the girls who bend their wrists back and speak into the thing's base while twitching the head and calling whoever is the poor sap on the other end a litany of colourfully offensive epithets

 

Again, the wrists being bent back because they like to pretend that the pretend phallus has a scrotum attached to it and thus requires cupping.

Edited by BigWalrus
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Again, the wrists being bent back because they like to pretend that the pretend phallus has a scrotum attached to it and thus requires cupping.

Having to educate the new lass that you mustn't neglect the balls. I dunno, you'd think that'd be common knowledge by now.

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