The Fish 10858 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Well Toontwatters, I'm beginning to think I'm a mental magnet; A girl I know is going through some shit at the minute and I've been "there" for her; having a coffee with her while she tells me her problems and that kind of thing. Prior to her excursion into the Forest of the Mental, she was quite hot, funny, smart etc. Now she's sullen, distracted, and looks like shit (yes I'm shallow, let's move on), the problem is I think she's taken my flirting pre- and my friendship post- breakdown as a sign of romantic intent. I don't want to go out with this lass, which is definitely the route she's gibbering down, but neither do I want to cause her more upset. If she was just a little bummed, I'd take her aside and let her down nice and gentle like. But she's genuinely on the edge and I don't want to push her over as I dart for the door. So I was thinking of taking longer to reply to texts/emails/facebook messages, taking calls but always have an exit strategy if things get a bit uncomfortable. Cowardly I know, but I don't think she's in a place where she could handle the crushing heartbreak of me turning her down. Seriously though I don't doubt me spurning her advances ( no matter how delicately spoken) would do more damage than it would if she was on a steady keel (is that the right term?) and I really don't want to be the guy she mentions in a suicide note. fuck I shouldn't be laughing about this... I blame the booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3357 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Dave, Dave, show her some class, Treat her nice, then fuck her in the arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15550 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 If it sticks, pull her tits and turn it into Weetabix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Get her sectioned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15550 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I've seen Dave's section. It's not pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asprilla 96 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Marry her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Tell her you are a toilet trader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10858 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 Tell her you are a toilet trader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 (edited) Can you tell the difference pre and post-breakdown when shes on all four? (Thats a rethorical question btw) Ok joking aside.. If she looks a bit dog-eared now, thats ur chance to get in. When she turns the ship around and becomes a looker, ur already aboard - by then it might be too late to get back in! Edited September 21, 2011 by Saltwater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonpneumonic 0 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Well Toontwatters, I'm beginning to think I'm a mental magnet; A girl I know is going through some shit at the minute and I've been "there" for her; having a coffee with her while she tells me her problems and that kind of thing. Prior to her excursion into the Forest of the Mental, she was quite hot, funny, smart etc. Now she's sullen, distracted, and looks like shit (yes I'm shallow, let's move on), the problem is I think she's taken my flirting pre- and my friendship post- breakdown as a sign of romantic intent. I don't want to go out with this lass, which is definitely the route she's gibbering down, but neither do I want to cause her more upset. If she was just a little bummed, I'd take her aside and let her down nice and gentle like. But she's genuinely on the edge and I don't want to push her over as I dart for the door. So I was thinking of taking longer to reply to texts/emails/facebook messages, taking calls but always have an exit strategy if things get a bit uncomfortable. Cowardly I know, but I don't think she's in a place where she could handle the crushing heartbreak of me turning her down. Seriously though I don't doubt me spurning her advances ( no matter how delicately spoken) would do more damage than it would if she was on a steady keel (is that the right term?) and I really don't want to be the guy she mentions in a suicide note. fuck I shouldn't be laughing about this... I blame the booze. You see, the answer is staring you right in the face with it's cycloptic brown eye. Just make sure she is only a little bummed (I assume this means pulling out and jizzing up her back) then due to your own criteria you can let her down gently. They when she's hoyed herself off a bridge and you are wracked with guilt, you can at least think back to happier times, whjen you were conkers deep in her shitbox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajax_andy 0 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Well Toontwatters, I'm beginning to think I'm a mental magnet; A girl I know is going through some shit at the minute and I've been "there" for her; having a coffee with her while she tells me her problems and that kind of thing. Prior to her excursion into the Forest of the Mental, she was quite hot, funny, smart etc. Now she's sullen, distracted, and looks like shit (yes I'm shallow, let's move on), the problem is I think she's taken my flirting pre- and my friendship post- breakdown as a sign of romantic intent. I don't want to go out with this lass, which is definitely the route she's gibbering down, but neither do I want to cause her more upset. If she was just a little bummed, I'd take her aside and let her down nice and gentle like. But she's genuinely on the edge and I don't want to push her over as I dart for the door. So I was thinking of taking longer to reply to texts/emails/facebook messages, taking calls but always have an exit strategy if things get a bit uncomfortable. Cowardly I know, but I don't think she's in a place where she could handle the crushing heartbreak of me turning her down. Seriously though I don't doubt me spurning her advances ( no matter how delicately spoken) would do more damage than it would if she was on a steady keel (is that the right term?) and I really don't want to be the guy she mentions in a suicide note. fuck I shouldn't be laughing about this... I blame the booze. No offence mate, but I dont see how slowly ignoring a lass who's very fragile and on a knifes edge is exactly going to do her any favours. I'd just be a mate to her and then if she does mention anything or tries anything just say to her that you don't think its a good idea as you want to be friends and you dont think she's in a good place for her to be starting something with someone. I understand its easier to just try and avoid her as much as possible, but I think if she's feeling pretty low at the moment, then the one person she seems to be able to rely on suddenly starts jibbing her off too, then that's actually going to do more damage than letting her down gently. And if all else fails shag, marry, regret, rape an asian and spend the rest of your days stashing pans around your house to use as weapons against the triads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30632 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 If she was just a little bummed Maybe a little bumming is all it'll take to sort her out, give it a shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 So I was thinking of taking longer to reply to texts/emails/facebook messages, taking calls but always have an exit strategy if things get a bit uncomfortable Are you 14? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6599 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 So I was thinking of taking longer to reply to texts/emails/facebook messages, taking calls but always have an exit strategy if things get a bit uncomfortable Are you 14? Just fuck her for a few weeks until the colour comes back into her cheeks. Then start doing that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 what Holden said. Honestly though, Ive shagged so many vile brides - why not just pound her for a few weeks, she might revert back into that attractive girl she once was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44934 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Tell her she can pipe you off if it makes her feel better, but that's as far as things can go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Wear two identical white T-shirts - the top one bearing the legend "I don't want to go out with you, you big mental dick" - but have the back panel/arms cut out of the top one, so as you turn around you can whip it off, revealing just a plain white T-shirt when you turn back. If you do it fast enough it'll act like one of those subliminal messages. Then kick her in the biff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44934 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Picturing Dave in a plain white t-shirt, and he looks exactly like Billy Whizz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I kind of like girls who are hot beneath a few levels of gravel. This lass sounds to have way more potential than those "Gucci-traps" you have to mingle with on a regular basis here in norway. fake blonde hair covering half the face, sunbed-tan to the point where you cant make out facial features, and a set of gigantic Gucci glasses to cover 75% of the face. Underneath it all most of them are utter donkeys. So many women look great in the evening but you would rather gnaw your arm off than wake em up the morning after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Is that why you smother them the night before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I kind of like girls who are hot beneath a few levels of gravel. This lass sounds to have way more potential than those "Gucci-traps" you have to mingle with on a regular basis here in norway.fake blonde hair covering half the face, sunbed-tan to the point where you cant make out facial features, and a set of gigantic Gucci glasses to cover 75% of the face. Underneath it all most of them are utter donkeys. So many women look great in the evening but you would rather gnaw your arm off than wake em up the morning after. What? Like when you've had the cement mixer oot? You wrongun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Most lasses like bein thrown around a bit, domination turns em on! Should give it a go son! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I kind of like girls who are hot beneath a few levels of gravel. This lass sounds to have way more potential than those "Gucci-traps" you have to mingle with on a regular basis here in norway.fake blonde hair covering half the face, sunbed-tan to the point where you cant make out facial features, and a set of gigantic Gucci glasses to cover 75% of the face. Underneath it all most of them are utter donkeys. So many women look great in the evening but you would rather gnaw your arm off than wake em up the morning after. What? Like when you've had the cement mixer oot? You wrongun. After a few days in the ground in my backyard they are nice and quiet while I go about doing my business.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Jay Sea 0 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Why not just rape her, that'll give her something real to be miserable about. Alternatively, take her out for the evening, you know the deal, have a meal and a few drinks....lure her into a false sense of security, prey on her vulnerability, make her feel happy, get her back to yours, get the wine out, tell her your going to the kitchen to get a cork-screw, come back and when she's turned away, thrust a 12" bread-knife into the side of her neck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Why not just rape her, that'll give her something real to be miserable about. Alternatively, take her out for the evening, you know the deal, have a meal and a few drinks....lure her into a false sense of security, prey on her vulnerability, make her feel happy, get her back to yours, get the wine out, tell her your going to the kitchen to get a cork-screw, come back and when she's turned away, thrust a 12" bread-knife into the side of her neck. There is no such thing as rape, only surprise sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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