Obertan: Earths' gravity is no match for him.

[Lake Bells tits 1]

Agree with Duo. I am suspecting Obertan was fully Pardews signing, and that he was given a little pouch of coins from uncle Ashley to go and buy himself a one-scope ice cream. Now if his one personal signing turns out to be a dud, that would be a huge personal defeat, and for that reason Pardew is just throwing games at him hoping something good comes out the other end.

 

Unfortunately, the only thing coming out the other end is a 14 inch floater.

[Lake Bells tits 1]

Morale of the story is: Never buy from Fergie ( Unless you are in the mourinho mould)

[Guest CabayeAye]

Zero abilty, zero potential, brings zero to the team. He's like a shitter, slower Routeledge. He needs to be given away, if needs be for nothing during this transfer window. I'd rather ANYONE played on the wing rather than him, even a youth team player.

 

When he plays, we get beat, when he goes off, we win. This is no coincidence at all. All he does is lose possession whilst bringing nothing to attack or defence. Worst player in a Toon shirt I can remember. Even shitter than Pattison, Bramble, Pancrate and Boumsong.

Edited January 7, 2012 by CabayeAye

[Lake Bells tits 1]

And yet Pardew hails him as being "fantastic for us". You have to start wondering if we are watching the same games, or if he is clasping straws since this was his one personal signing.

[sniffer 0]

We certainly have two of the worst players if have seen in my time in perch and obertan. It's a toss up which one stinks the most but SAF certainly put another one over us, thats for sure. I'm so leery of him that even if he offered us Rooney for 10 mill I'd probably knock it back.

[Brock Manson 0]

Underperforming Squidward may be, but some of the above posts are a little over-exaggerated!

[Aeris 0]

Underperforming, overperforming, performing on par, doesn't really matter everything is just shite...

Edited January 8, 2012 by Aeris

[The Fish 10674]

We certainly have two of the worst players if have seen in my time in perch and obertan. It's a toss up which one stinks the most but SAF certainly put another one over us, thats for sure. I'm so leery of him that even if he offered us Rooney for 10 mill I'd probably knock it back.

 

Can't have been watching long then.

[sniffer 0]

Longer than you, I think.

 

And I still can't think of many players much worse than these two.

[MattM4 0]

Alan Smith for a start?

 

Obertan produces nothing. Smith was destructive.

[Guest CabayeAye]

Tough call that one like. Smith was apococrap, but allegedly was a good influence in the dressing room. Obertan seems to actively lose us games, look at our results with and without him!

 

Not to mention he is completely unable to pass the ball to a team mate without doing 18 stepovers and getting tackled.

[Andrew 4713]

Tough call that one like. Smith was apococrap, but allegedly was a good influence in the dressing room. Obertan seems to actively lose us games, look at our results with and without him!

 

Not to mention he is completely unable to pass the ball to a team mate without doing 18 stepovers and getting tackled.

 

ok, of our 9 league wins this season, Obertan has played in 6.

 

Bolton, Wigan, Wolves, Blackburn, Sunderland and Fulham

 

of our 6 draws he has played in 6, starting 5

 

Swansea, man u, Spurs, Villa, QPR and Arsenal

 

of our 5 losses, hes played in 4

 

Chelsea, Liverpool, Norwich and West Brom

 

 

No false stats, no percentages, just the actual numbers.

 

Actively losing us games? please

[Aeris 0]

Alan Smith for a start?

 

Obertan produces nothing. Smith was destructive.

 

Constantly losing the ball if not only to make a half-decent pass backwards should also qualify in terms of being destructive in all my honesty...

[Ollie Burtons Grandad 0]

I reckon Obertan is of similar quality to Des Hamilton (Cant defend, cross the ball or make a decent pass and manages to get away with impersonating a PL Footballer) I think we fucked off Hamilton to Huddersfield but I cant see Obertan getting in the Huddersfield Team. A good player for Hartlepool tho, just about Obertans level.

Still everyone is allowed to buy one useless twat.

[Dr Gloom 21760]

Obertan is a funny one because he seems to have some of the raw attributes to succeed - pace, decent close control, the ability to (ver occasionally) stand up a decent cross. But he never puts it into practice? He rarely takes on his man, despite having pace to burn. He usually passes back inside instead of getting to the byline to out a ball in - something that has resulted in goals on the rate occasions he's tried it.

 

I don't get him. Is he completely lacking a footballing brain or is he scared? I suspect he doesn't have the belief in his own abilities. He needs confidence to try those things more often.

 

Or is he just shit?

[aimaad22 4086]

Obertan is a funny one because he seems to have some of the raw attributes to succeed - pace, decent close control, the ability to (ver occasionally) stand up a decent cross. But he never puts it into practice? He rarely takes on his man, despite having pace to burn. He usually passes back inside instead of getting to the byline to out a ball in - something that has resulted in goals on the rate occasions he's tried it.

 

I don't get him. Is he completely lacking a footballing brain or is he scared? I suspect he doesn't have the belief in his own abilities. He needs confidence to try those things more often.

 

Or is he just shit?

 

Spot on. He seems dead scared of taking on defenders which is surprising because he has the speed and the ability for it. He just isn't right in the head!

Edited January 9, 2012 by aimaad22

[aimaad22 4086]

Obertan is a funny one because he seems to have some of the raw attributes to succeed - pace, decent close control, the ability to (ver occasionally) stand up a decent cross. But he never puts it into practice? He rarely takes on his man, despite having pace to burn. He usually passes back inside instead of getting to the byline to out a ball in - something that has resulted in goals on the rate occasions he's tried it.

 

I don't get him. Is he completely lacking a footballing brain or is he scared? I suspect he doesn't have the belief in his own abilities. He needs confidence to try those things more often.

 

Or is he just shit?

 

Spot on. He seems dead scared of taking on defenders which is surprising because he has the speed and the ability for it. He just isn't right in the head!

 

I swear that was completely unintentional

[Happy Face 29]

^{To be fair I've seen him go past plenty of players, but when he does it he goes back to try and do it again rather than put a cross/shot in, dithering on the ball until there's an easy pass open or posession is lost. Looks like he won't try anything more adventurous for fear of the lashback...so he gets a lashback. Vicious circle.}

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

^{To be fair I've seen him go past plenty of players, but when he does it he goes back to try and do it again rather than put a cross/shot in, dithering on the ball until there's an easy pass open or posession is lost. Looks like he won't try anything more adventurous for fear of the lashback...so he gets a lashback. Vicious circle.}

 

Why then did he never try anything more adventurous whilst at Man United--after joining them his confidence must have been soaring. He was widely regarded as shit by their fans. He's scored 3 goals in his career, I've seen one of them, it was a header from 5 yards--I could have scored it. The fact is he's shit. He has poor, inconsistent technique, and often gets the basics wrong. As for off-the-ball stuff, his movement is horrendous and at times he appears to hide. His decision making is appalling and he consistently makes the wrong one. I say this to everyone: if you can't see that his technique is poor, you're a bad judge of player imo.

 

Obertan is a funny one because he seems to have some of the raw attributes to succeed - pace, decent close control, the ability to (ver occasionally) stand up a decent cross. But he never puts it into practice? He rarely takes on his man, despite having pace to burn. He usually passes back inside instead of getting to the byline to out a ball in - something that has resulted in goals on the rate occasions he's tried it.

 

I don't get him. Is he completely lacking a footballing brain or is he scared? I suspect he doesn't have the belief in his own abilities. He needs confidence to try those things more often.

 

Or is he just shit?

 

Spot on. He seems dead scared of taking on defenders which is surprising because he has the speed and the ability for it. He just isn't right in the head!

 

I swear that was completely unintentional

 

He doesn't have the ability for it. If he did, he might actually have done this at some point in his career. The only time he succeeds in taking on defenders is when they back off continually and fall over, such as against Bolton for his assist. The Man U fans thought he was about League One level after an FA Cup tie against a lower-league team during which Obertan was as ineffective as he has been during the vast majority of his time here.

Edited January 10, 2012 by Kevin S. Assilleekunt

[ChezGiven 0]

Not sure what you mean by technique KSA? If you mean the technical ability to control the ball he clearly has some technical skills, he just lacks a footballing brain, aggression and determination (amongst other things). I think he does have some technical skill with the ball he just cant put it into practice when it matters, which suggests a degenerative psychological condition. Like Ba's knee but its his brain, hence the head shape issues.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Not sure what you mean by technique KSA? If you mean the technical ability to control the ball he clearly has some technical skills, he just lacks a footballing brain, aggression and determination (amongst other things). I think he does have some technical skill with the ball he just cant put it into practice when it matters, which suggests a degenerative psychological condition. Like Ba's knee but its his brain, hence the head shape issues.

 

Yes I mean technique ie ball control, first-touch, shooting technique etc. He is poor in several areas. He can carry the ball well in a straight line, as long as no one challenges him--I think that's his main strength: running with the ball in a straight line as long as no opponents are near him. If he is required to change direction, release the ball, either to a teammate or as a shot at goal, it becomes clear his technique is lacking. His striking technique is particularly bad, be it shooting or crossing the ball. And he will sometimes try a daft trick with the outside of his boot when a more conventional pass would have been the better option. His first touch is also quite poor, and if he is required to do anything under physical pressure from an opponent (this is when we really see how good a player's technique is) he will lose the ball often.

[Aeris 0]

Not sure what you mean by technique KSA? If you mean the technical ability to control the ball he clearly has some technical skills, he just lacks a footballing brain, aggression and determination (amongst other things). I think he does have some technical skill with the ball he just cant put it into practice when it matters, which suggests a degenerative psychological condition. Like Ba's knee but its his brain, hence the head shape issues.

 

His knee is his brain?...

[ChezGiven 0]

Not sure what you mean by technique KSA? If you mean the technical ability to control the ball he clearly has some technical skills, he just lacks a footballing brain, aggression and determination (amongst other things). I think he does have some technical skill with the ball he just cant put it into practice when it matters, which suggests a degenerative psychological condition. Like Ba's knee but its his brain, hence the head shape issues.

 

Yes I mean technique ie ball control, first-touch, shooting technique etc. He is poor in several areas. He can carry the ball well in a straight line, as long as no one challenges him--I think that's his main strength: running with the ball in a straight line as long as no opponents are near him. If he is required to change direction, release the ball, either to a teammate or as a shot at goal, it becomes clear his technique is lacking. His striking technique is particularly bad, be it shooting or crossing the ball. And he will sometimes try a daft trick with the outside of his boot when a more conventional pass would have been the better option. His first touch is also quite poor, and if he is required to do anything under physical pressure from an opponent (this is when we really see how good a player's technique is) he will lose the ball often.

I agree with all of that but i would tend to refer to that bit in bold as composure. Lots of players can do fancy things with their feet on the training ground (not all of course) but 'performance' on the pitch in front of big crowds is mainly psychological. Its those odd daft tricks he does which suggests to me he has some skill, he just cant perform. I completely agree that playing under pressure from an opponent is when you see what a player is about and in Obertan's case, its just not there.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Not sure what you mean by technique KSA? If you mean the technical ability to control the ball he clearly has some technical skills, he just lacks a footballing brain, aggression and determination (amongst other things). I think he does have some technical skill with the ball he just cant put it into practice when it matters, which suggests a degenerative psychological condition. Like Ba's knee but its his brain, hence the head shape issues.

 

Yes I mean technique ie ball control, first-touch, shooting technique etc. He is poor in several areas. He can carry the ball well in a straight line, as long as no one challenges him--I think that's his main strength: running with the ball in a straight line as long as no opponents are near him. If he is required to change direction, release the ball, either to a teammate or as a shot at goal, it becomes clear his technique is lacking. His striking technique is particularly bad, be it shooting or crossing the ball. And he will sometimes try a daft trick with the outside of his boot when a more conventional pass would have been the better option. His first touch is also quite poor, and if he is required to do anything under physical pressure from an opponent (this is when we really see how good a player's technique is) he will lose the ball often.

I agree with all of that but i would tend to refer to that bit in bold as composure. Lots of players can do fancy things with their feet on the training ground (not all of course) but 'performance' on the pitch in front of big crowds is mainly psychological. Its those odd daft tricks he does which suggests to me he has some skill, he just cant perform. I completely agree that playing under pressure from an opponent is when you see what a player is about and in Obertan's case, its just not there.

 

Technique does come into those situations, because when an opposing player is harrying you, you will have to use the ball whilst at pace or off-balance, sometimes both. It becomes clear that the real quality players, someone like Aguero for instance, can strike the ball accurately in these circumstances. A combination of composure and technique then, along with determination and all the other things you mentioned.

 

Obertan may be able to do the odd Rabona (wrapping one foot around the other and hitting it), or play the odd pass with the outside of his foot. Those tricks don't necessarily indicate the quality of someone's technique*. He'll never be able to strike a ball first-time like Cabaye can. Now there's a player who is exceptional at striking the ball first-time.

 

For all I've said, and as much as I don't rate Obertan, he's clearly better than Alan Smith (referring to the posts calling for Smith to start over Obertan, if serious). One thing Alan Smith does have is an intense determination--he is absolutely determined to get himself sent off as quickly as possible every time he steps onto the pitch.

 

*those flicks and tricks only play the ball over 10 yards or so, when required to cross to someone in the box he invariably fails badly.

Edited January 10, 2012 by Kevin S. Assilleekunt

[Happy Face 29]

^{To be fair I've seen him go past plenty of players, but when he does it he goes back to try and do it again rather than put a cross/shot in, dithering on the ball until there's an easy pass open or posession is lost. Looks like he won't try anything more adventurous for fear of the lashback...so he gets a lashback. Vicious circle.}

 

Why then did he never try anything more adventurous whilst at Man United--after joining them his confidence must have been soaring. He was widely regarded as shit by their fans. He's scored 3 goals in his career, I've seen one of them, it was a header from 5 yards--I could have scored it. The fact is he's shit. He has poor, inconsistent technique, and often gets the basics wrong. As for off-the-ball stuff, his movement is horrendous and at times he appears to hide. His decision making is appalling and he consistently makes the wrong one. I say this to everyone: if you can't see that his technique is poor, you're a bad judge of player imo.

 

I said he was shite long before Parky's thread...long before the season started....and exactly why he was shite....

 

You can tell when someone's shite when 90% of their youtube clips cut away while he's still in posession.

 

Clearly very little end product.

 

http://www.toontastic.net/board/topic/31174-obertan-signs-five-year-deal/page__st__120__p__948177#entry948177

 

It's a question of getting the best out of that shit....which cheering his substitution ain't gonna do.