Tom 14247 Posted May 12, 2021 Share Posted May 12, 2021 On 12/05/2021 at 13:06, Ayatollah Hermione said: He had a heart attack on the dock once and was back doing his graft 20 minutes later. He’s a medical marvel Expand Imagine bragging about a heart attack ”Hey ladies, I’m actually...very, very unhealthy” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 12, 2021 Share Posted May 12, 2021 That was another one the lad I was on about came out with. Got cancer cut out of his arm (a rare type that only children get apparently), back at work on the afternoon. Reckons he told the doctor to just lob his arm off if it was so bad as to need chemo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46211 Posted May 12, 2021 Share Posted May 12, 2021 On 12/05/2021 at 13:18, Tom said: No man, Hendrix was Expand Hendrix was your Dad? This getting taller by the minute 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 12, 2021 Share Posted May 12, 2021 Think we know who the work wanker is at Tom's place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46211 Posted May 12, 2021 Share Posted May 12, 2021 Even money on J.M.Hendrix. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14247 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 On 12/05/2021 at 13:40, Monkeys Fist said: Hendrix was your Dad? This getting taller by the minute Expand Where do you think my hair comes from? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14247 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 On 12/05/2021 at 14:04, TheGingerQuiff said: Think we know who the work wanker is at Tom's place Expand You i once played a song with green day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 (edited) I sat next to Gary McCallister at the Shamu show at sea world Edited May 13, 2021 by TheGingerQuiff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 34068 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Aye but your ma and da were sat the other side of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Aye I was 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 34068 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Course you were, champ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Was the summer he went to Liverpool. His wife was a reet dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46211 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 On 13/05/2021 at 11:07, TheGingerQuiff said: Was the summer he went to Liverpool. His wife was a reet dog Expand Must’ve been tough as a kid to realise one of your local heroes married a munter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 52215 Posted May 13, 2021 Author Share Posted May 13, 2021 Yer Ma was in the tank. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1368 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 His current wife or the one died after a long cancer battle? @TheGingerQuiff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Whichever one he was married to when he joined Liverpool @Blastronaut🤢 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1368 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Suppose I should've been able to work that out like. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 On 13/05/2021 at 18:53, Gemmill said: Yer Ma was in the tank. Expand Safer in the tank than the taxi rank 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7915 Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 I used to work with a bloke who was a cracking jackanory. His best one was that he bumped into Alan Carr on Shields beach when walking his dog and that he came back to his house for tea. I bumped into him at the funeral of a work colleague a few years back and he showed me a picture of the new car he'd allegedly bought with his lumper on retirement. It was a picture of him wearing a crash helmet in an Audi R8 on a race track experience day and he'd photoshopped his private reg on the front No word of a lie! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayvin 6430 Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 So he had that photo on standby at all times in case he bumped into an ex-colleague Fucking hell, can you imagine being that desperate for other people's approval at that stage in your life man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7915 Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 On 14/05/2021 at 11:46, Rayvin said: So he had that photo on standby at all times in case he bumped into an ex-colleague Fucking hell, can you imagine being that desperate for other people's approval at that stage in your life man... Expand I'd imagine I was far from the first person he'd shown that picture to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 46211 Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 On 14/05/2021 at 11:46, Rayvin said: So he had that photo on standby at all times in case he bumped into an ex-colleague Fucking hell, can you imagine being that desperate for other people's approval at that stage in your life man... Expand Or claiming you’d met Alan Carr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37680 Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 On 13/05/2021 at 10:43, TheGingerQuiff said: I sat next to Gary McCallister at the Shamu show at sea world Expand You sure it wasn’t Lenny Bennett? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37680 Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 I’ll save you the bother of replying - no it was definitely Shamu 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14247 Posted May 16, 2021 Share Posted May 16, 2021 On 14/05/2021 at 13:08, Monkeys Fist said: Or claiming you’d met Alan Carr. Expand I once seen his standup and that was bad enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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