Gejon 2 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Woke up in a student hole next to a black lass with a kid who looked like Prince on the floor. Bottle of cheap whiskey by my head. I think I woke up at 5pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10685 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I went to Chez's mates place of work and pissed in the corridor.... Oh, No, Wait.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I went to Chez's mates place of work and pissed in the corridor.... Oh, No, Wait.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 You filthy skanky metal-loving cock-munching slum-dwelling sister-fucking scumbag tramp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Many, many, many years ago I woke up after a very heavy biker bash party with no bra on.....I eventually found it hung on a lamp post outside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7069 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 The BK burglary yes, but driving when hammered, not good mate. a one off, circumstantial which I cba to go into, but yes, fucking idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Many, many, many years ago I woke up after a very heavy biker bash party with no bra on.....I eventually found it hung on a lamp post outside Pics or it didn't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Many, many, many years ago I woke up after a very heavy biker bash party with no bra on.....I eventually found it hung on a lamp post outside Pics or it didn't happen. Thankfully there were no pics taken......(I hope ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneColdStephenIreland 74 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 After a night out I Found mesel deein' the deed with some woman at least twice me age round the back of a Lidl store, within seconds of finishing it hit home what the fuck I just did and in a flash wipped me jeans up and started pegging it yem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 After a night out I Found mesel deein' the deed with some woman at least twice me age round the back of a Lidl store, within seconds of finishing it hit home what the fuck I just did and in a flash wipped me jeans up and started pegging it yem Did ye dee a Marlon King like!??!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4365 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 First time we went to Barcelona I was informed the next day I'd taken part in a full on YMCA singalong with actions which is so not me its unreal so I completely denied it until my bastard mates produced photo evidence - it was the vodka and cokes in half pint glasses where the coke was like a dash of milk in coffee that did it. I also once went arse over tit down the escalator at central metro (when we beat Everton in 96/96 and I'd convinced myself the league was ours) and just got up and continued on my merry way - had a vaguely sore left wrist for a couple of weeks but apart from that was unscathed - absolute miracle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32713 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Going down the ramp at Wembley way for the charity shield game, the queues were massive so I climb over the fence and jump on a van and from the van to the ground to save some time, (probably about 2 mins, but I was well served). The van was a police van, which I didn't realise when I jumped on it and a copper who was on the ramp was looking down telling me to 'come back here' in a rather effete southern way. I replied that I definitely would.....after the match and I crossed my heart so he knew I'd keep good on my promise. I got lucky or maybe not as the game was pure shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney 0 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Thailand had a load of weird nights. I blame the buckets of whiskey/redbull. Stayed in my girlfriend parents house shit-faced, walked into a different bedroom in the middle of the night and pissed into the wardrobe. Her sister just kept asking why all her clothes were soaked. Another one was moving into a new house 5years or so back, I fell asleep on the night link(late bus) home and woke-up 2 miles beyond my house. Ended up jogging down a country-road back in the right direction. With about 5mins left to go, I FUCKED myself up, twisting my ankle in a pot-hole. I ended up crawling home like a mong. My ankle the next day was destroyed. Serious damage to all my ligaments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4365 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I fell into some completely unmarked roadworks in Sofia - luckily only 3 or 4 feet deep and just earth at the bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32713 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Thailand had a load of weird nights. I blame the buckets of whiskey/redbull. Stayed in my girlfriend parents house shit-faced, walked into a different bedroom in the middle of the night and pissed into the wardrobe. Her sister just kept asking why all her clothes were soaked. Another one was moving into a new house 5years or so back, I fell asleep on the night link(late bus) home and woke-up 2 miles beyond my house. Ended up jogging down a country-road back in the right direction. With about 5mins left to go, I FUCKED myself up, twisting my ankle in a pot-hole. I ended up crawling home like a mong. My ankle the next day was destroyed. Serious damage to all my ligaments. I legged it home mortal over about two years ago and did the same but I must've jolted something in my back. My backs never been the same. It'll be fine for a few months but will just 'go' and I'm fucked for a couple days. Your pissy story reminds of an old mate who'd been out all day on a bender and got back in his Mothers house and whilst his old dear was watching the end of 'heartbeat' he pulled his fathers slippers in the middle of the living room floor and started to piss in them. He had no idea when she told him the next day but it cracked us up when she told us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney 0 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Thailand had a load of weird nights. I blame the buckets of whiskey/redbull. Stayed in my girlfriend parents house shit-faced, walked into a different bedroom in the middle of the night and pissed into the wardrobe. Her sister just kept asking why all her clothes were soaked. Another one was moving into a new house 5years or so back, I fell asleep on the night link(late bus) home and woke-up 2 miles beyond my house. Ended up jogging down a country-road back in the right direction. With about 5mins left to go, I FUCKED myself up, twisting my ankle in a pot-hole. I ended up crawling home like a mong. My ankle the next day was destroyed. Serious damage to all my ligaments. I legged it home mortal over about two years ago and did the same but I must've jolted something in my back. My backs never been the same. It'll be fine for a few months but will just 'go' and I'm fucked for a couple days. Your pissy story reminds of an old mate who'd been out all day on a bender and got back in his Mothers house and whilst his old dear was watching the end of 'heartbeat' he pulled his fathers slippers in the middle of the living room floor and started to piss in them. He had no idea when she told him the next day but it cracked us up when she told us. Pissy slippers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 This was a story about a mate but funny none the less. He went out on an all dayer with his lass and a few mates, they were staying at her parents house. For some reason (no Idea why) him and his lass ended up sleeping in her mums bed. Anyway during the night he managed to shit himself, in the bed. That's something you would never get over, they did stay together for a while after. To be honest, him or one other mate are the first two people you would think this would happen to if asked. Scruffy fucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Depends on the size and stench of the shit though Gejon. Obviously his must have been quite a significant load. Can't believe they managed to stay together for a while after that How long had they been together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneColdStephenIreland 74 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 After a night out I Found mesel deein' the deed with some woman at least twice me age round the back of a Lidl store, within seconds of finishing it hit home what the fuck I just did and in a flash wipped me jeans up and started pegging it yem Did ye dee a Marlon King like!??!?!? A Marlon King? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Hairy Ape Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I bet you J69 is reading this thread with a look on his face not to dissimilar to this: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I tried to kick a family out of their caravan in Estartit when I was 18 and full of beer and vodka on my first night, telling them it was my caravan. They let me crash on their sofa and I thanked them by spewing in the middle of the night before walking out the door and falling asleep on the grass. I woke up and couldn't remember any of this until one of the fathers daughters spotted me a week later and told me about it. I felt a bit bad and took them round a bottle of wine as a 'sorry'. Didn't get into the lass which was no surprise when you think about it. What year was this? We used to go to Estartit laste 80's early 90's to the campsite you're on about. No word of alie one night me we're going back to the mobile home and there's some kid lieing on the grass pissed and asleep. I only remember this as my mam and dad had a massive barney over it. My mam was a nurse at the time and wanted to help him while my faffa's opinion was 'sod him, let him sleep it off, nowt to do with us.' He was a caring man at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I once tried to pull a girl I used to go school with when I was 18, really liked her, got nervous, drank to deal with it, woke up next morning in her bed at her flat. Result? No, her best mate was lieing next to me. Tit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Idioteque 0 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I tried to kick a family out of their caravan in Estartit when I was 18 and full of beer and vodka on my first night, telling them it was my caravan. They let me crash on their sofa and I thanked them by spewing in the middle of the night before walking out the door and falling asleep on the grass. I woke up and couldn't remember any of this until one of the fathers daughters spotted me a week later and told me about it. I felt a bit bad and took them round a bottle of wine as a 'sorry'. Didn't get into the lass which was no surprise when you think about it. What year was this? We used to go to Estartit laste 80's early 90's to the campsite you're on about. No word of alie one night me we're going back to the mobile home and there's some kid lieing on the grass pissed and asleep. I only remember this as my mam and dad had a massive barney over it. My mam was a nurse at the time and wanted to help him while my faffa's opinion was 'sod him, let him sleep it off, nowt to do with us.' He was a caring man at times. I went to Estartit in 96 and 97 on a campsite, probably the same one, at the end of a big dirt track? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I tried to kick a family out of their caravan in Estartit when I was 18 and full of beer and vodka on my first night, telling them it was my caravan. They let me crash on their sofa and I thanked them by spewing in the middle of the night before walking out the door and falling asleep on the grass. I woke up and couldn't remember any of this until one of the fathers daughters spotted me a week later and told me about it. I felt a bit bad and took them round a bottle of wine as a 'sorry'. Didn't get into the lass which was no surprise when you think about it. What year was this? We used to go to Estartit laste 80's early 90's to the campsite you're on about. No word of alie one night me we're going back to the mobile home and there's some kid lieing on the grass pissed and asleep. I only remember this as my mam and dad had a massive barney over it. My mam was a nurse at the time and wanted to help him while my faffa's opinion was 'sod him, let him sleep it off, nowt to do with us.' He was a caring man at times. I went to Estartit in 96 and 97 on a campsite, probably the same one, at the end of a big dirt track? Must be the same one. Biggest swimming pool in Europe they reckon it had. Had two others besides that one; one next to the shops where the water was permanently green and one which was fucking miles up the side of the mountain, 'La Basa' the last pool was called. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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