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Your weirdest drunken experiences!


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(More like an aftermath). After a heavy nights drinking, I remember waking up on a park bench missing an eyebrow and shoe. Kerrraazzzzzyyyyyyy.

 

 

 

Waht aboot yee?

Edited by WordPlay
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Waking up one morning asleep outside of Gateshead stadium.

 

What makes it even more random is I was at a house party in Sandyford, and I lived in Heaton at the time.

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Woke up on the roof of an old works building, it was tiled and obviously slanted. I'm in no way religious but I sometimes wonder about the old belief of God watching over a drunk.

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I've mentioned a few on here like, waking up on the 39 bus with my head on a fat lasses thigh was one, no memory of the previous hours, in Thailand there was loads, just fuckin so many but I am a pure liability by any level, or should say was, am not as bad now.

 

There was a few of us in Stanley Casino behind the Central Station this one neet. Think there was aboot 5 of us, everyone lost all their money apart from me who couldn't dee a thing wrong, and I was still there about 4am. I left n for some reason I decided to walk to the Central rather than order a taxi from there. Now right beside the Casino there's a path leading to some dingey stairs which bring ye oot at the Quayside. Now on them stairs is where blokes meet at neet for some bum sex, awful when you think about it, imagine if ye got lost and ended up looking at two blokes giving it 5 nowt on some dark stairway.

 

So I was full of vodka red bull, and as I've mentioned on here, I'm honest enough to admit, before I was 24 I was a moutht little cunt, I really, really was. I could be quite endearing sober but with a drink on me what a cunt, I had a real problem, and it needed a massive kicking to sort me out, I could've ended up dead to be honest, just a complete doilum in certain situations, the first thing I'd think about would be to say something cheeky, but we all grow up. Anyway I was full of vodka red bull, which equals the critical mass of my mouthyness, and I left the casino, and seen this fattish kid with geps on his shoulder walking on the adjacent path. Never spoke to him in my life. "Where yee been?????" anyway after 5 minutes of interrogation he told me, he'd been down those steps to meet men for sex. I says are ye fuckin joking? "A good looking lad like yee doesn't have to be gay man", he was a right fat ugly cunt, anyway I went on to tell him, how he was only going there for sex cos he had nee bird, and he didn't look gay so he was just lying to himself. I must've went on 4am in the morning telling this kid off, and how he should only shag women. Poor cunt he was almost agreeing with me at the end such was my tirade, and he said women show him no interest. I hope Meenzer doesn't take offence at this but ye could just tell this could wasn't gay, I've got nothing against actual gay people. Anyway I seen the kid 2 years later in Benwell of all places, he had a face ye wouldn't forget Jack Duckworth glasses without the celotape, cuddling a fat lass pushing a pram, so I might not have nee kids yet, but maybe my drunken tirade was the catalyst for one ;) . That story is exactly how it happened.

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At glastonbury mix of drinking from morning, weed and pills, last thing I remember was taking a whitey and passing out at the back of the field before the headliner that night then the next thing I remember was waking up 4am outside some one randoms tent on the other side of camp with 1 shoe, pink hair and a lost phone

 

worst thing about it was there was 2 days left and I coudln't get rid of the pink hair

 

also at another festival falling asleep in my tent with my legs hanging out and waking up with blistered sunburnt legs, also on the first fucking day, in agony the rest of the weekend

Edited by Idioteque
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Climbing on the bus stop just outside the old 'Apollo' cinema at the bottom of Shields Road on a sunny teatime and smiling serenely and waving at the people on the top deck of the buses. I was fucking blotto that day on cheap 8% abv cider (and I don't even like the stuff).

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What were you doing loitering around them stairs Stevie? ;)

I wasn't hehe when you come out the casino the path is to your left and this kid was walking on there. I could imagine The Fish being familiar with the same path mind ;)

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I tried to kick a family out of their caravan in Estartit when I was 18 and full of beer and vodka on my first night, telling them it was my caravan. They let me crash on their sofa and I thanked them by spewing in the middle of the night before walking out the door and falling asleep on the grass. I woke up and couldn't remember any of this until one of the fathers daughters spotted me a week later and told me about it. I felt a bit bad and took them round a bottle of wine as a 'sorry'. Didn't get into the lass which was no surprise when you think about it.

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I woke up with the roughest girl you could ever dream up, it was 6am and I told her I had to get to football so I ran all the way home.

 

I'm no Beckham but she really was a monster, personality and all.

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I woke up with the roughest girl you could ever dream up, it was 6am and I told her I had to get to football so I ran all the way home.

 

I'm no Beckham but she really was a monster, personality and all.

Everybody on this forum has been there. This one lass man ;) she used to live opposite me mates flat, and she was tootally mingin but dead canny, she always used to say "if you've got it flaunt it" but she didn't have it, and if I was mortal I'd just go to hers unannounced, it was always the same feeling of regret, shock and horror the next day. Demon drink man.

Edited by McFaul
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If this lass was a nice girl then I could have felt a little decent but honestly she was hideous in every way. Horrible, horrible girl! I only went round (hammered) to try and sleep with her mate. Even though I was very, very drunk I still struggled to do it and when I'm drunk I could happily mount a tree.

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Honestly can't recall doing anything genuinely weird. And I've been drunk (and worse) more than I should have been.

 

I think I have the ability to manage to stop myself at exactly the right moment.

;) Am not surprised

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I stole a scooter from a family member and crashed it, then tried to get it home but got completely lost and took hours to get it home. That was quite weird, I blend all over this jacket, didn't want to bin it because it was so nice but didn't wash it. The blood dried and was left on it, started stinking of fish ;)

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Not really weird but the first time I went out with my work colleagues I was about 17, got mortal and fell down a big set of stairs trying to pick a fiver up at the top, head first did a front flip on the stairs, got up again and asked where we were going next, woke up the next morning with 2 broken fingers

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Not really weird but the first time I went out with my work colleagues I was about 17, got mortal and fell down a big set of stairs trying to pick a fiver up at the top, head first did a front flip on the stairs, got up again and asked where we were going next, woke up the next morning with 2 broken fingers

 

 

Moral of the story, don't be seen with money in Liverpool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

;)

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Once when utterly hammered I drove (not proud of this) into a BK drive through. The place was shut but they'd left the payment hatch slightly open so I slid it open and stumbled my way in with the intention of cooking something for myself.

 

Once I started staggering about inside I had a moment of clarity and realised I was probably on camera and tripped some alarm somewhere. Ran back to hatch, fell out the other side and sped off like a tit.

 

Got away with it all fortunately, but what a fucking bellend.

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Actually (and this is another dickhead youngster story), I was playing a fruit machine in a chicken shop and lost some money, so on the way out, being the nails hard man I am I punched the door and the window broke.

 

I ran off, hide in some grave yard and got some lass to pick me up.

 

Didn't go back in the place for well over a year, the worst thing was that the next day when I woke up with a hangover and thought "what the fuck did I do last night!?" I remembered and coincidentally a police car just randomly pulled into my close.

 

I thought I was going to be in the papers and everything, police turning up to my work place etc.. Ah the hangover paranoia, great stuff that.

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