Urban Myths

[Guest alex]

Without just quoting from snopes, put yours in here.

I'll kick off with: Tony Blair saying he sat in the Gallowgate and watched Jackie Milburn (Mark Chapman recently repeated this made-up story on 5Live) and Bobby McFerrin committing suicide in the wake of 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'.

[sammynb 3517]

Mike Ashley is going to invest the Carroll transfer fee back into the club.

 

When I had dreads every fucker loved to tell the story about how someone they knew, knew someone who had dreads and they were so dirty. Then one days the owner of said hair started getting sharp pains on their scalp, like something kept biting them, only for them to be eventually rushed to hospital unconscious. Then when the emergency staff cut his hair tens of redback spiders fell out of the nest they had made in his dreadlocks.

 

Don't look back, get out of the car and run towards us.

 

But

 

Don't

 

Look

 

 

 

BACK!

[Christmas Tree 4848]

The woman who accidentally cut her tongue while licking an envelope allowing some sort of insect eggs that were on the sticky gum to be transferred into her tongue.

 

Sometime later here tongue she visited hospital with a swollen tongue, only for insects to take flight as the doctor cut open the swelling.

 

My adult girls have never licked envelopes since hearing this tale / myth as children.

[Howmanheyman 33883]

The Wife's friend at works friend who had a Python/Boa constrictor whatever that started sleeping alongside her at night. She mentioned it to a Vet who immediately came round and had it put down as it was 'measuring her up' and would have eaten her within the week.

[Howmanheyman 33883]

Without just quoting from snopes, put yours in here.

I'll kick off with: Tony Blair saying he sat in the Gallowgate and watched Jackie Milburn (Mark Chapman recently repeated this made-up story on 5Live) and Bobby McFerrin committing suicide in the wake of 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'.

 

He fucking should've an aal!!

[Guest Geordio Armani]

Una Stubbs curling one out on a glass top table ...

[Dr Gloom 22182]

lady gaga a man.

 

if she is, then i'm clearly bent cos i'd hit that all day

[sammynb 3517]

lady gaga a man.

 

if she is, then i'm clearly bent cos i'd hit that all day

 

Don't worry she's a hermaphrodite, you have the option to either give it or take it

 

I'm amazed stevie has been in this thread to tell us of the time he woke up in a bath tub full of ice and a mirror smeared with lipstick in Thailand.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Apparently there's a black fella called Purple Aki who goes round the North-West raping men. Heard a lot of talk about him recently at work. He goes round the gyms and asks if he can have a squeeze whilst you flex your muscles. Next day you wake up in an alley with no clothes and a throbbing arse.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akinwale_Arobieke

Edited June 9, 2011 by Kevin S. Assilleekunt

[manc-mag 1]

Mike Ashley is going to invest the Carroll transfer fee back into the club.

 

When I had dreads every fucker loved to tell the story about how someone they knew, knew someone who had dreads and they were so dirty. Then one days the owner of said hair started getting sharp pains on their scalp, like something kept biting them, only for them to be eventually rushed to hospital unconscious. Then when the emergency staff cut his hair tens of redback spiders fell out of the nest they had made in his dreadlocks.

 

Don't look back, get out of the car and run towards us.

 

But

 

Don't

 

Look

 

 

 

BACK!

 

 

Winner.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

From Purple Aki's wiki entry:

 

Muscle touching ban

 

Arobieke was released on licence from prison on 26 October 2006. Unusually, Merseyside police applied to Liverpool Magistrates' Court for an interim Sexual Offences Prevention Order against him, although he was never convicted of a sex offence. Under the terms of the order, Arobieke was banned from touching, feeling or measuring muscles, asking people to do squat exercises in public, entering the towns of St Helens, Warrington or Widnes without police permission and loitering near schools, gyms or sports clubs.[10] The ban was later overturned as "draconian" [11] but remained in force after a successful appeal by police.[12]

 

On May 25, 2007 Arobieke approached a man in a shopping centre in Preston and commented upon the size of his biceps before "touching them without permission". He was arrested shortly afterward on suspicion of breaching his Sexual Offences Prevention Order, and remanded in custody.[12]

 

He was later convicted of breaching this order[13] and jailed for a further 15 months.,[14] with the muscle touching ban being made permanent.[14]

[edit] Muscle touching ban appeal

 

In July 2008 Arobieke was unsuccessful in trying to overturn the 'muscle touching ban' at one point being also accused of 'behaving erratically' in court.[15] During the court case, details of Arobieke's "stalker’s manual" were disclosed; a book Arobieke had compiled that was "full of details about victims' body measurements, contact numbers and families." It was alleged that Arobieke would "do research into his victim, confronting them with such details as their father's car registration number or sibling's place of education."[3]

 

During the court case DC Patrick Kilgannon told how "Arobieke became sexually aroused while forcing terrified young men to perform "inverted piggybacks" – ordering them to squat so he could lean over their backs with his face by their buttocks and his genitalia on their necks, while squeezing their quad muscles".[3] During the court case Arobieke made an apology to his victims and admitted that he was "infamous, notorious, everything from a bogeyman to whatever."[16]

[Howmanheyman 33883]

Mentioned before on another thread but when I was a bairn there used to be a few gluesniffers about. We'd play football till they came around and then leg it as the word was they'd grab you and make you sniff their glue.

 

When you went from Junior school to the Seniors there was two main urban myths.

 

1: You'd get your head flushed doon the bog.

 

and

 

2. You had to see the nurse in the first month of joining the Senior school where she'd ask you to drop your pants before putting your balls on a spoon. If you twitched she'd whack your knob with the spoon and tell you off.

[Zathras 266]

Without just quoting from snopes, put yours in here.

I'll kick off with: Tony Blair saying he sat in the Gallowgate and watched Jackie Milburn (Mark Chapman recently repeated this made-up story on 5Live) and Bobby McFerrin committing suicide in the wake of 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'.

 

He fucking should've an aal!!

 

Howay man, he's a fantastic jazz vocalist with 10 grammys. Don't judge him by the one popular hit he had, which he himself dislikes.

Edited June 9, 2011 by Zathras

[Howmanheyman 33883]

I'll have to take your word for that. Nice to see he was embarrassed, though, so fair play to him!

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

The fucking Jonas Brothers were nominated for a grammy standards have fallen.

[Holden McGroin 6785]

2. You had to see the nurse in the first month of joining the Senior school where she'd ask you to drop your pants before putting your balls on a spoon. If you twitched she'd whack your knob with the spoon and tell you off.

 

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

[Barney 0]

Purple Aki is great. Rumours are he used to post on this board anarl.

 

 

 

[Lazarus 0]

when i was young and moved from first school to the middle school next door and we were told that all us younguns would visit the 'knacka-pole'.

 

the knacka-pole was a blue pole that ran down the centre of a brick building that was open on one side. the story was that 4 of the middle schools biggest lads would grab a kid holding an arm or leg each. they would pick you up and whack your bollocks against the pole leaving you in a wimpering heap holding your crushed balls.

 

Teachers, fellow pupils and older kids all said it was a load of rubbish.

 

sure enough on my second day i was suddenly hoisted aloft and found that my bollocks were aimed at the knacka-pole

[Zathras 266]

The fucking Jonas Brothers were nominated for a grammy standards have fallen.

 

At the risk of hijacking the thread, the *popular song* Grammys are now, and usually have been, worthless as a measure of actual quality. In the more specific areas, however, they are still usually a pretty good indication of real quality in the area. There are four different Grammys for Jazz, composing, classical, spoken word, etc.

 

(It's perhaps worth noting that one of McFerrin's Grammys was for Don't Worry Be Happy. The other nine are legit, though. ;-) )

[Howmanheyman 33883]

2. You had to see the nurse in the first month of joining the Senior school where she'd ask you to drop your pants before putting your balls on a spoon. If you twitched she'd whack your knob with the spoon and tell you off.

 

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

It was supposed to be a check to see if your balls had dropped yet.

[Gemmill 46086]

Apparently there's a black fella called Purple Aki who goes round the North-West raping men. Heard a lot of talk about him recently at work. He goes round the gyms and asks if he can have a squeeze whilst you flex your muscles. Next day you wake up in an alley with no clothes and a throbbing arse.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akinwale_Arobieke

 

My mate went to uni in Liverpool and had no end of bother with a massive black bloke at his gym. At the time this mate of mine was well into bodybuilding - he's still a big fucker (and a copper) now, and this kid used to take a weird interest in him - I can't remember the exact details of the story, but I'm out with him tomorrow night, so I'll ask him. One day he turned up at his house and the entire house hid while this bloke was braying on the door cos he'd followed my mate home and knew he was in. Anyway, apparently this was this Purple Aki fella.

[PaddockLad 17689]

You can see the Great Wall of China from space....like fuck can you

 

Oh and the Marc Almond legend....its still getting told to wide eyed and no doubt revolted teenagers to this day...I remember being told about it nearly 30 years ago or so but I bet some of the young un's on here have heard it too....

[JawD 99]

A few from school like

 

The Grey Lady - if you walked around a certain tree 3 times and whispered "grey lady" she would visit you that night

The Devil - Say his name in the mirror 3 times for him to visit you

Lamp posting - when moving to high school you'd get lamposted: you are picked up and put crossed legged and a lamp post and hands tied around, only way to get up is shimmy up it to stand up. They would smear shit on the lamp post.

Pip swallowing - swallow a pip and the plant will grow inside you, a lass at school went into hospital and seen a lad with a twig growing from his eye

Chewing Gum - swallow it and it will stay in your stomach and eventually you'd get so much you'd die

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

Apparently there's a black fella called Purple Aki who goes round the North-West raping men. Heard a lot of talk about him recently at work. He goes round the gyms and asks if he can have a squeeze whilst you flex your muscles. Next day you wake up in an alley with no clothes and a throbbing arse.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akinwale_Arobieke

 

My mate went to uni in Liverpool and had no end of bother with a massive black bloke at his gym. At the time this mate of mine was well into bodybuilding - he's still a big fucker (and a copper) now, and this kid used to take a weird interest in him - I can't remember the exact details of the story, but I'm out with him tomorrow night, so I'll ask him. One day he turned up at his house and the entire house hid while this bloke was braying on the door cos he'd followed my mate home and knew he was in. Anyway, apparently this was this Purple Aki fella.

 

Purple Aki is about 50, how old is your mate? Bodybuilding is a bit odd, the guys who are really into it talk about sculpting their bodies like a work of art and all this bollocks, and then they wonder why they have some huge black guy resting his cock on their face and squeezing their quads in an orgiastic frenzy. Asking for trouble imo.

[Gemmill 46086]

My mate's 35 so this was a good 15 year ago.