Owen - If only the fans knew the facts!

[Dazzler 10834]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

He doesn’t watch films. 

Though I would read a brief film review by Michael Owen on most films as he goes on to explain the entire plot, and offers insight into things he think we may have overlooked, but are just painfully obvious facts.

 

 

"Spider-man: no way home. There were no spiders in this film. But there were spider-men. I love little surprises like that."

 

 

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 43677]

SPOILERS FFS!!!!

[OTF 7794]

On 21/12/2023 at 01:48, Dazzler said:

Though I would read a brief film review by Michael Owen on most films as he goes on to explain the entire plot, and offers insight into things he think we may have overlooked, but are just painfully obvious facts.

 

 

"Spider-man: no way home. There were no spiders in this film. But there were spider-men. I love little surprises like that."

 

 

 

 

 

"Home Alone. This film features a home in which someone is alone, which is a bit like mine when I have a party."

[Howmanheyman 34479]

I heard their lass threw a surprise birthday party for him in a telephone box. 

[ewerk 31599]

[Gemmill 47139]

"his chin nuzzled into his breast" 

 

Is he a fucking pigeon? 

[The Fish 11080]

Absolutely perfect that the anecdote begins in El Prat airport.

[Dazzler 10834]

48 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

"his chin nuzzled into his breast" 

 

Is he a fucking pigeon? 

Either that or he's piled the biff on and is wearing a wonderbra.

[Ayatollah Hermione 14239]

His total lack of self-awareness isn’t improving with age, I see 

[Sonatine 11721]

 

"Maybe I am a cunt, after all?"

[Dazzler 10834]

[trophyshy 7099]

Easily one of his greatest anecdotes. 

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AlanPartridge/s/OqIWPRH8of

[Dr Gloom 22542]

Tremendous 

[Monkeys Fist 43677]

8 hours ago, trophyshy said:

Easily one of his greatest anecdotes. 

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AlanPartridge/s/OqIWPRH8of

He must be setting the after-dinner circuit alight. 
 

“ Welcome to An Evening with Michael Owen ( in partnership with Burton Menswear and The National Insomnia Society). 
Spend a fascinating night with England’s Michael Owen as he shares tales of his time spent in world football, the places he stayed in hotels, and the friend he made. 
Hear behind-the-scenes tales from the dressing room, such as Michael’s still standing record as Liverpool’s hide and seek champion, where he stayed undiscovered in a cupboard for 6 hours as his team mates “searched” for him…

Share Michael’s delight as he recounts the evenings he spent with England roommate Gareth Southgate comparing their hotel napkin collections. 
If you’re still awake, a delicious buffet is on offer at the interval, specially chosen by Michael himself. 
Option 1 -£ 10:00

Sandwich (cheese). 
Crisps (plain). 
Water. 
Option 2 -£15:00

As above but with Michael’s special accoutrements- Salt, Pepper, Butter. 
Option 3-£20:00

As Option 2, with Ketchup. 
There will be a competition during the interval where you can relive Michael’s childhood and attempt to throw your apple core in the bins**
 

It’s a thrilling night of insight in to the life of one of the greats, but don’t take our word for it, see the reviews from past participants. “
 

“ Best sleep I’ve had in years” - Dave from Bolton

” He has the same jumper that we buried Dad in, which is nice” - Mrs B. from Essex 

“ Are you the bloke doing the refunds?” - Dave from Oldham 

 

 

** no prizes , it’s just for fun! 

[Optimistic Nut 279]

His goals per game record for us up to the mid-point of the relegation season was actually really good.

 

Even first half of that relegation season he had 10 goals in 21 games.

 

Think he'd have genuinely stayed and tried if it looked like the club was going anywhere but downed tools and was all about self-preservation rather than acting like a captain and digging in to help us stay up. Cunt. 

[Dougle 3497]

5 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

 

the friend he made.

 

 

 

[Holden McGroin 6951]

Maybe we’ve misjudged him all these years and it might be that he is just a bit simple after all.