Grim Destinations

[Mac-Toon 1]

Where would you say is the grimmest, illest, shithole of a destination in the UK that you've been to? I ask for a reason as I'll discuss below, however I feel I've found it. Nee arguments.

 

I've just arrived back in the best city in the country by a mile, after spending 3 days working in Greenock just outside of Glasgow.

 

Arrived at Glasgow Central with my colleagues and headed for a few Tennants in the bar whilst waiting for connecting train, which I enjoyed enormously. With hunger setting in and heading outside the station for a tab I saw a Greggs. Mmm I thought and entered to be greeted by the ugliest skinniest cunt I've ever seen who said 'Wha' the fuck you waaantin'. I told him a Greggs and told him to fuck off and he said I'll be lucky to get out alive. Got my Greggs and went back into the station and headed to Greenock.

 

Jumped on a train which stank of fish, I believe it was a geezer asleep in the corner of the carriage. I quickly gathered that this wasn't going to be a good trip.

 

Arrived in Greenock, misty, pissin' doon rain, windy, high rise flats, no culture, nobody around. Walked to the hotel (Premier Inn which was the one shining light and the bar nextdoor called The Point. Nice food and a canny pint. Nee customers like, and the only ones who did come in were the le coq sportif massive who were impossible to understand or have any kind of logical conversation with.

 

Last night, after graft we though 'get in, we'll hit the town and watch the match'. Got a taxi to their 'town' which was 2.20 and were told the 'best' place to go was the Bottle Bank Bar or something. I walked in and they had sky sports news on, about 15 people in a massive bar and ordered my pint. Asked if he could put Newcastle on and he said 'No fuckin English cunt games in here' or words similar. The shock has wiped his exact phrase from memory. I kicked off and got turfed out without having a fuckin sip of me beer. What a cunt.

 

Went looking for another bar and they just didn't arrive. One other which had a kid in the doorway off his lips with a Celtic shirt on, dress trousers and trainers taalkin' shite and asked 'd'y waaant shanked maaan'. I nearly ripped his head off before being bundled away and we headed back to 'the point' to sit on our tod watchin nee teles in the bar.

 

Got the train back to the station from Greenock today and met 'Joyce' who was 40ish, purple rain jacket, 4 stripe trackie bottoms and an ability to interact like nobody I've ever met.

 

J - 'Uuu've got neyc eeyes yuw'

Me - 'Cheers love, a like your hair'

J - 'Am jus' aahf tae kfc tae ma work'

Me - 'Oh aye, you the gaffer like?'

J - Aaaye maan, this is ma ipod'

Me - 'What d'ye listen to'

J - whilst putting her headphones in 'muusic' and turned away. Haha

 

The point, never go to Greenock unless absolutely necessary. It is without question the most desperate place I've ever been with some desperately cuntish residents.

Edited February 4, 2011 by Mac-Toon

[Howmanheyman 32843]

You're just a fussy cunt, Mac.

[peasepud 59]

Stoke

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

Where would you say is the grimmest, illest, shithole of a destination in the UK that you've been to? I ask for a reason as I'll discuss below, however I feel I've found it. Nee arguments.

 

I've just arrived back in the best city in the country by a mile, after spending 3 days working in Greenock just outside of Glasgow.

 

Arrived at Glasgow Central with my colleagues and headed for a few Tennants in the bar whilst waiting for connecting train, which I enjoyed enormously. With hunger setting in and heading outside the station for a tab I saw a Greggs. Mmm I thought and entered to be greeted by the ugliest skinniest cunt I've ever seen who said 'Wha' the fuck you waaantin'. I told him a Greggs and told him to fuck off and he said I'll be lucky to get out alive. Got my Greggs and went back into the station and headed to Greenock.

 

Jumped on a train which stank of fish, I believe it was a geezer asleep in the corner of the carriage. I quickly gathered that this wasn't going to be a good trip.

 

Arrived in Greenock, misty, pissin' doon rain, windy, high rise flats, no culture, nobody around. Walked to the hotel (Premier Inn which was the one shining light and the bar nextdoor called The Point. Nice food and a canny pint. Nee customers like, and the only ones who did come in were the le coq sportif massive who were impossible to understand or have any kind of logical conversation with.

 

Last night, after graft we though 'get in, we'll hit the town and watch the match'. Got a taxi to their 'town' which was 2.20 and were told the 'best' place to go was the Bottle Bank Bar or something. I walked in and they had sky sports news on, about 15 people in a massive bar and ordered my pint. Asked if he could put Newcastle on and he said 'No fuckin English cunt games in here' or words similar. The shock has wiped his exact phrase from memory. I kicked off and got turfed out without having a fuckin sip of me beer. What a cunt.

 

Went looking for another bar and they just didn't arrive. One other which had a kid in the doorway off his lips with a Celtic shirt on, dress trousers and trainers taalkin' shite and asked 'd'y waaant shanked maaan'. I nearly ripped his head off before being bundled away and we headed back to 'the point' to sit on our tod watchin nee teles in the bar.

 

Got the train back to the station from Greenock today and met 'Joyce' who was 40ish, purple rain jacket, 4 stripe trackie bottoms and an ability to interact like nobody I've ever met.

 

J - 'Uuu've got neyc eeyes yuw'

Me - 'Cheers love, a like your hair'

J - 'Am jus' aahf tae kfc tae ma work'

Me - 'Oh aye, you the gaffer like?'

J - Aaaye maan, this is ma ipod'

Me - 'What d'ye listen to'

J - whilst putting her headphones in 'muusic' and turned away. Haha

 

The point, never go to Greenock unless absolutely necessary. It is without question the most desperate place I've ever been with some desperately cuntish residents.

I stayed in Paisley 18 month ago with work, and it was a lot like you describe although the people were a bit friendlier than that though. The whole town looked like it was closed down, 15 and 16 year old kids playing football using a McDonalds window as the goal, some manager came out told them to "fuck aaaff or I'll ring eh lawah", which he was told to "get tae fuck", but most of the people were "brand new by ra way". Even by West of Scotland standards Greenock is seen as fuckin scruffy and that is an incredibly bold statement. I think you can't judge Scotland by a few places though, I mean Greenock's nearly the distance fae Glasgow as Boro is from the toon and look at the difference there. I think the people in Glasgow while many are charva's, most I've encountered are bang on.

 

Only hassle I've had was about 10 years ago. Went to this market called the Barras Sunday morning before we came home, and it's just outside the Gallowgate in Glasgow which is most definitely the Celtic side of the city, had an England top on, was probably just to be an antagnistic prick, most people were sound and said nowt, but had a few "English basturt" comments which I didn't care about I was on their manor. So we left there and over the road there was a Celtic shop. I didn't mind Celtic so much then cos I had no idea how mouthy their fans were, how deluded they were about their position in football and how disrespectful they were of other clubs. So I bought an umbro Celtic polo top, and thought fuck this I'll wear this to save any hassle. Gets to Glasgow Central, "ya big fenian basturt" of loads of wee neds fuckin couldn't win.

Edited February 4, 2011 by You FCB Get Out Of Our Club

[Monkeys Fist 42144]

The Tourist Information Office in Barrow-in-Furness is an empty shop, with this on the wall-

Clicky

 

A more depressing place I have yet to see.

[JawD 99]

Rhyl

 

Worked there about 10 years ago and went out on the piss for a night.

[NJS 4375]

Rotherham is pretty despearate. I know a lot of towns/cities in Yorks and Lancs have a similar industrial revolution feel but the last time we went to Rotherham for the cup it seemed like it was a dumping ground for all the mental patients in South Yorks.

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

I've been to Rotherham too, it's just to Sheffield what Jarrow is to Newcastle, it is a shithole. See where Mac was on about, Greenock it is a shithole, so is Paisley, but they're countered by the natural beauty around them. Greenock especially, there are views along the mate (Edit I've put mate a meant mate) through Port Glasgow and Greenock which are some of the best in the UK. For the all round package of shitness, I do believe it is impossible to beat Middlesbrough. Like I've said before you get past that Castle Eden brewery thing, get over that hill you're 15 miles away and it hits you. The first time I saw it, on that route my eyes couldn't take it in, I was like Will Smith on Independence Day the first time he sees the UFO over LA, that's how shocked I was. 15 miles across of utter urban, industrial desolation. Driving in to the town it gets nee better, first time there saw prozzies on that Borough Road this is through the fuckin day. If someone knows somewhere that is more grim than Middlesbrough in Western Europe, I've yet to see it.

Edited February 4, 2011 by You FCB Get Out Of Our Club

[Guest alex]

I remember going to Middlesbrough as a kid. Newcastle could appear quite grim in the early 80s but fuckin' hell.

[Mac-Toon 1]

Stevie you're off your head walking about in football gear up there. We went through Paisley on the train, that's where Joyce got off. Haha. The weather must definitely have a negative affect on the mood up there.

 

In fairness to them though, it's difficult to compare to Newcasle. I didn't like Paris and thought Newcastle had far more character than it.

 

Makes you thankful to be born in this great city.

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

Stevie you're off your head walking about in football gear up there. We went through Paisley on the train, that's where Joyce got off. Haha. The weather must definitely have a negative affect on the mood up there.

 

In fairness to them though, it's difficult to compare to Newcasle. I didn't like Paris and thought Newcastle had far more character than it.

 

Makes you thankful to be born in this great city.

Mate I haven't got an arrogant bone in my body, but I know in my heart of hearts I live in the best city in the country as an overall package. Friendliest people, some of the best architecture, regardless who's owning it - a great fucking football club, beautiful lasses everywhere (and you don't get that in every toon), good lads, great scenery on the doorstep, geordie accents, easy commuting links to the whole country.

 

Paris is wank, only been twice that was with the school like, stinking wankhole full of Arabs. "ezzzz you can see 'ere ees le champs d'eleezay" aye so fuck, poor mans Marble Arch if you ask me. Sums Paris up like, city of 10m, one team and they only get 35,000 at games, PSG should be by far the worlds biggest club.

[Guest alex]

Stevie you're off your head walking about in football gear up there. We went through Paisley on the train, that's where Joyce got off. Haha. The weather must definitely have a negative affect on the mood up there.

 

In fairness to them though, it's difficult to compare to Newcasle. I didn't like Paris and thought Newcastle had far more character than it.

 

Makes you thankful to be born in this great city.

Mate I haven't got an arrogant bone in my body, but I know in my heart of hearts I live in the best city in the country as an overall package. Friendliest people, some of the best architecture, regardless who's owning it - a great fucking football club, beautiful lasses everywhere (and you don't get that in every toon), good lads, great scenery on the doorstep, geordie accents, easy commuting links to the whole country.

 

Paris is wank, only been twice that was with the school like, stinking wankhole full of Arabs. "ezzzz you can see 'ere ees le champs d'eleezay" aye so fuck, poor mans Marble Arch if you ask me. Sums Paris up like, city of 10m, one team and they only get 35,000 at games, PSG should be by far the worlds biggest club.

[Scottish Mag 3]

there are views along the mate (Edit I've put mate a meant mate) through Port Glasgow and Greenock which are some of the best in the UK.

 

Those views will be of where I stay

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

there are views along the mate (Edit I've put mate a meant mate) through Port Glasgow and Greenock which are some of the best in the UK.

 

Those views will be of where I stay

Do you live near that mad bump? It looks like a mini volcano which though fuck it. I believe it's near Dumbarton's ground. Can dee it for miles.

 

I've put mate again in my edit for fuck sake I meant mate

 

It's saying mate again oh dear M 8

Edited February 4, 2011 by You FCB Get Out Of Our Club

[Besty 4]

[AgentAxeman 174]

Stoke

 

Aye

[Mac-Toon 1]

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent.

 

I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it.

 

Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

[Guest alex]

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent.

 

I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it.

 

Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

Helensburgh. I know a lad from there. Bit of twat, truth be told.

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent.

 

I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it.

 

Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

Helensburgh that is. Do you not get the impression with them over in the west coast of Scotland that insulting people is part of the culture. It's almost like they're taught from a young age they're taught to end sentences with an insult. They don't want a fight or anything just how they are. "That's wit a wis tellin ye ya daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaft cunt " and "wit street ye lookin fir ya wee prick?"

[catmag 336]

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent.

 

I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it.

 

Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

Helensburgh. I know a lad from there. Bit of twat, truth be told.

 

I went to a wedding near there. Dodgy fuckers, the lot of them.

[Mac-Toon 1]

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent.

 

I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it.

 

Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

Helensburgh that is. Do you not get the impression with them over in the west coast of Scotland that insulting people is part of the culture. It's almost like they're taught from a young age they're taught to end sentences with an insult. They don't want a fight or anything just how they are. "That's wit a wis tellin ye ya daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaft cunt " and "wit street ye lookin fir ya wee prick?"

Totally mate. Asked the taxi driver if Rangers would be on TV or Newcastle and he said 'Dinni menshun them bastids in 'ere'. I think they're more cautious of OOTs as they question our reason for being there.

 

The men are all either really really obese or unbelievably skinny and gaunt. They still have a love for the baseball cap up there too. I only saw 3 nice women. The rest were monsters of the deep.

[Scottish Mag 3]

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent.

 

I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it.

 

Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

Helensburgh. I know a lad from there. Bit of twat, truth be told.

 

I went to a wedding near there. Dodgy fuckers, the lot of them.

 

[Scottish Mag 3]

there are views along the mate (Edit I've put mate a meant mate) through Port Glasgow and Greenock which are some of the best in the UK.

 

Those views will be of where I stay

Do you live near that mad bump? It looks like a mini volcano which though fuck it. I believe it's near Dumbarton's ground. Can dee it for miles.

 

I've put mate again in my edit for fuck sake I meant mate

 

It's saying mate again oh dear M 8

 

Aye I am originally from Helensburgh but now live in the wee village (Cardross) between Helensburgh and Dumbarton.

[Gemmill 44525]

I was up Ritchie's way last year. Beautiful place. Went to Boots in Helensborough. Stayed at Cameron House. Canny.

 

I worked away in Lowestoft once which was canny shit. As was Wolverhampton. Had to put up with some twat at the client telling me it was one of the best nights out in Britain. It wasn't.

[Scottish Mag 3]

I was up Ritchie's way last year. Beautiful place. Went to Boots in Helensborough. Stayed at Cameron House. Canny.

 

I worked away in Lowestoft once which was canny shit. As was Wolverhampton. Had to put up with some twat at the client telling me it was one of the best nights out in Britain. It wasn't.

 

Very nice, how did you find the hotel, living so close I have never had the need to stay in it? I am a member of the gym etc and the in laws have a boat moored there.