jaythesouthernmag 0 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Caught a guy nicking in a shop I used to run, took him in the back while I rang plod, I put the phone down and he made run for the back door, streight at me. I just reacted and caught him clean on the chin, went down like a sack of shit. Copper turned up and I told him what happened and he winked and said self defence eh? . The scumbag was a known shoplifter and had just got out of nick This teenage cunt threw a punch at me outside a pub, I moved back but it caught me on the head. He moved in for another, I grabbed his head pulled it down and kneed him full in the face. Made a hell of a noise. Turned round and walked off leaving him on the deck Both of these happened a few years ago but I'd rather not get involved and have a better control of my temper now I'm older. Plus people don't tend to try and pick fights with a tattooed,sixteen stone skinhead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 14053 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I've not been in any but we were in a club once and this kid in a dickie bow tie ffs came up and pushed me for some reason. Apparently, I'd nudged into him going past or something like that. My mate was having none of it so slapped his drink out of his hand, pulled his dickie bow tie off and punched him in one movement and he hit the deck. It was like something out of a Laurel and Hardy sketch and was well worth getting hoyed out for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 About 2-3 times a week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Wacky doesn't believe in rape so you'll have to explain what you mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Geordie 1 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Never been in a fight (apart from the small scraps everyone gets into at school). Quite surprising considering the state I get into on some nights out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 In 1993 I had a swedge with a French bloke who'd stolen my tent and belongings the previous evening. Chased him for a few hundred yards then collared him. I grabbed his bag which had all my stuff in except my camera and Walkman. I repeatedly asked him where they were, and his pleas of innocence were starting to get the red mist creeping in on me. After giving him several more chances to tell me where my missing stuff was, I thought "fuck it" and went to rifle his coat pockets. He batted my hand away and that was that. Fucking Silverback time! Next thing I remember he's lying on the deck bubbling, and I think " Get up man, I've only slapped you". So I bend down to pick him up , realise he's got a shaved head , and so pick him up by his ears. Oops, nasty ripping sound and a squeal and see I've separated his lobe by an inch. About a 2 hours later I'm back at work, Gendarmes turn up and take me into custody. Clouseau explains he was picked up by a tourist who brought him in, where he pressed charges. After telling him what happened the cop explained that he'd been examined by a doctor and given a six day sick note, as a means of measuring the severity of his injuries. The cop asks me if I'm hurt at all, and I say no. He looks at my knuckles and says "they look broken", makes a phone call and the next thing I'm sent up the street to the doctors. One brief examination and I'm sent back to the station with a 2 week sick note ! The copper winked, said "we don't like thiefs here, bad for business" and released me. Vive La Justice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesperateDannyB 0 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Was at a Couteeners concert in Oxford a few months back. We were stood at the back like the ol boring bastards we are, when some p!ssed nob head starts bouncing around smashing into the wife and one of her mates. Her mate tells him to fuck off up the front. The pissed spastic decides to call her a cunt and she ditches a full pint right down the front of him. At this point I decided to intervene to "diffuse" the situation. As it may come accross on here, I am not the most diplomatic person in the world. It was like throwing petrol on a BBQ. Luckily I was 4 pints down rather than 8 so managed to dodge the windmill that fololwed, he was a big fat cunt and if had connected i may have been in bother. My mates bundled him he got a bit of a slap and was chucked out. Previous to that it was year ago. Although once I got jumped by two lads outside a club and got battered so bad my ear was half hanging off. Couldnt move and was miserable for a week. Wouldnt like to relive that particular kick in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Was at a Couteeners concert in Oxford a few months back. We were stood at the back like the ol boring bastards we are, when some p!ssed nob head starts bouncing around smashing into the wife and one of her mates. Her mate tells him to fuck off up the front. The pissed spastic decides to call her a cunt and she ditches a full pint right down the front of him. At this point I decided to intervene to "diffuse" the situation. As it may come accross on here, I am not the most diplomatic person in the world. It was like throwing petrol on a BBQ. Luckily I was 4 pints down rather than 8 so managed to dodge the windmill that fololwed, he was a big fat cunt and if had connected i may have been in bother. My mates bundled him he got a bit of a slap and was chucked out. Previous to that it was year ago. Although once I got jumped by two lads outside a club and got battered so bad my ear was half hanging off. Couldnt move and was miserable for a week. Wouldnt like to relive that particular kick in. Not guilty M'Lud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesperateDannyB 0 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Was at a Couteeners concert in Oxford a few months back. We were stood at the back like the ol boring bastards we are, when some p!ssed nob head starts bouncing around smashing into the wife and one of her mates. Her mate tells him to fuck off up the front. The pissed spastic decides to call her a cunt and she ditches a full pint right down the front of him. At this point I decided to intervene to "diffuse" the situation. As it may come accross on here, I am not the most diplomatic person in the world. It was like throwing petrol on a BBQ. Luckily I was 4 pints down rather than 8 so managed to dodge the windmill that fololwed, he was a big fat cunt and if had connected i may have been in bother. My mates bundled him he got a bit of a slap and was chucked out. Previous to that it was year ago. Although once I got jumped by two lads outside a club and got battered so bad my ear was half hanging off. Couldnt move and was miserable for a week. Wouldnt like to relive that particular kick in. Not guilty M'Lud ha ha, bit of a coicidence. Dirty low down trick aiming for the ears. Obviously a geordie manouver. My was kicked off rather than yanked though....i dont know what would be more painful tbh. Edited January 21, 2011 by DesperateDannyB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'd go for your nose first. Pwopa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesperateDannyB 0 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'd go for your nose first. Pwopa A jew's power is in his nose. Its our achilles heel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Thought that was your wallet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesperateDannyB 0 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Thought that was your wallet? No you massive racist its our exposed shlong end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I thought Judaism was a religion, not a race? Oy vey, you live, you learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesperateDannyB 0 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 G-ds chosen race my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) G-ds chosen race my friend. Is that according to the story book that says the earth was built in seven days? Edited January 21, 2011 by Monkeys Fist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17660 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 G-ds chosen race my friend. I thought you were the same race as the Palestinians and other local tribes/peoples, just a different religion?....isnt that where "anti semitic" comes from,and why its inaccurate, as you're all semitic?.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Why do you have Leazes avatar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17660 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 No its not, his is some square and compass freemasons fuckwittery...have a look.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Oh yeah, well it used to be his Fully expect some shit about N-O when he see's this innocuous comment btw Edited January 21, 2011 by Gejon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesperateDannyB 0 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 G-ds chosen race my friend. I thought you were the same race as the Palestinians and other local tribes/peoples, just a different religion?....isnt that where "anti semitic" comes from,and why its inaccurate, as you're all semitic?.. Can of worms fella. Its definitely a blood line, see the debate on admissions into Jewish faith schools in London. I am definitely not getting involved. Ask my old dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Having been doing jiu jitsu for 7 years I hope I think I'm better at defending myself than most, but obviously training in a controlled environment is a lot different from the 'real thing'. Got into a couple of scrapes since, and the most important thing is I've walked away from them all. In 2005 I went to a music festival in Spain with a load of my mates. There were always gypsies hanging around the place, selling drugs and so on. As we were leaving one night, we went past a few of them that had a little dog. The dog jumped up as my mate walked past, and the gypsies thought that he'd kicked it or something and tried to swing a punch at him. As they were pretty fucked and my friend wasn't really in any immediate danger, we tried to apologise/explain but they didn't understand, and more sober, but equally aggressive gippos were getting into things. One of my other mates tried to apologise, repeatedly saying "pardone" despite one lamping him in between. I decided to sack this attempt at international dipolomacy off as a bad job and yanked my mate back, and when they guy swung his punch at me I moved in, gathered his punching arm and kept his momentum going as I turned into a serviceable tai otoshi. Shoved another one off the path, dodged a kick from a third and put him on his back then legged it, hotly pursued by the little fucker of a dog that started it all, which gave up eventually. They could have had knives and all sorts so we were very lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43077 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Christmas Tree is a Brown belt in bullshit, he must have had a few scrapes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I've told this on here before, I think. I was about 21 and was just walking into a nightclub in Manc (upstairs in Jabez for them that know it) and there was a steamingly drunk knobhead of a bloke who staggered up to me as I waked through the door and said "how does it feel to be fat and ugly?" He had a pissed-up smirk on his face and after a split second of silence I just punched him in the face without even realising what I was doing. He hit the floor and I walked over him and went to the bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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