Taxi Drivers

[Guest alex]

Was shitting it once on a tuk-tuk in Bankok. The driver went to this quiet spot saying he needed the loo. There was no one around then this other bloke came up to us and we thought we'd been set-up for a robbery. The bloke asked where we from and started talking about Alan Shearer when we told him. Then the other bloke came back from his piss and we left. Paranoia, but you know what it can be like in a strange city etc. Also, Bankok is generally heaving and the place where we'd been left was absolutely dead and quite eerie.

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

Was shitting it once on a tuk-tuk in Bankok. The driver went to this quiet spot saying he needed the loo. There was no one around then this other bloke came up to us and we thought we'd been set-up for a robbery. The bloke asked where we from and started talking about Alan Shearer when we told him. Then the other bloke came back from his piss and we left. Paranoia, but you know what it can be like in a strange city etc. Also, Bankok is generally heaving and the place where we'd been left was absolutely dead and quite eerie.

Well your story reminds me of one good taxi driver or tuc tuc driver to be precise. When I was in Bangkok we got tuc tucs everywhere and they seemed to make the fare up as they went along. This one neet we’d been to Phatpong most mental place I’ve ever been in my life by the way, and we were so fuckin pissed there was 5 of us 2 in one 3 in another. Me and one of me mates were blind drunk, we’d had no sleep for nearly 48 hours, and the driver didn’t have a fuckin clue what I was saying, I doubt a southern English person would’ve done I was that wrecked.

 

Anyway between us we couldn’t remember what our hotel was called or where it was. Anyway this fuckin Thai had no chance understanding us so he took us to this hotel, where there was this black yank waiting on the door like that was his job, so he asked me where we wanted to go, I said I think it was this big building near some shops. Now bearing in mind Bangkok probably has as many big buildings and shops as any city in the world, it was like saying I’m looking for a needle in a haystack.

 

So I was like oh ffs, this was around 2am iirc, and our flight to Phuket was in about 8 hours, and we had to leave in 6, anyway the driver drove us round for 90 minutes all the hotels looked the same and he was going to see if the OB could help us as he stopped and pointed at the ob shop, then in a moment of pure inspiration I just "FUCKIN SOI LANG SUAN!!!!!!!!!!!" and the bloke went "oooooooooh soi lang suan!!!" The name of the road where the hotel was just came to me, and we were only 500 yards away, as soon as we got on the road I was thrilled to bits cos I knew where the hotel was from there, and this bloke drove us round all night and only charged us a 10a, he could've taken a right liberty but he was absolutely mint, bowed when we got out and everything.

[Guest alex]

It's amazing how these things always seem to work out alright in the end when you're pissed. Unless you're drugged, robbed and murdered of course

[Kid Dynamite 7029]

Had a really racist south African recently, most uncomfortable minutes of my life.

 

[Holden McGroin 6585]

Most South Africans i've met are. I can remember speaking to one client.

 

SA bloke: "Im not racist or anything, but I woulndt let them in the same pool as me"

"Why not ?"

"Cos they shit in the pool"

 

 

I bumped into a lovely old couple in Perth (Oz) a few years ago who had emigrated to NZ from SA.

 

"Why did you leave SA?"

"cos of the blacks"

 

I thought they were joking at first.

[Kid Dynamite 7029]

I was in St Petersburg in FL with my family a few years back and we mentioned to an old couple by the pool that we were looking for a restaurant to eat in that night. They said not to drive past the shopping centre cos thats where the niggers live As if it was the most normal thing in the world to say! Americans are the best when it comes to casual racism like

[toughguymick@hotmail.co.uk 0]

Despicable, seedy characters many of them who have issues with body odour and bad breath, and who talk out of their arse from my experiences anyway

 

Its becasue geordies are tight twats and dont give no tips. The poor bastards cant afford bog roll never mind a bottle of Lynx.

[Kid Dynamite 7029]

Despicable, seedy characters many of them who have issues with body odour and bad breath, and who talk out of their arse from my experiences anyway

 

Its becasue geordies are tight twats and dont give no tips. The poor bastards cant afford bog roll never mind a bottle of Lynx.

 

Why thankyou, we are known as being generous folks

[toughguymick@hotmail.co.uk 0]

Despicable, seedy characters many of them who have issues with body odour and bad breath, and who talk out of their arse from my experiences anyway

 

Its becasue geordies are tight twats and dont give no tips. The poor bastards cant afford bog roll never mind a bottle of Lynx.

 

Why thankyou, we are known as being generous folks

 

Go and play smash someones window with your cricket ball mate.

[Kid Dynamite 7029]

Can't say I've heard of that one? Big in Liverpool is it?

[toughguymick@hotmail.co.uk 0]

Can't say I've heard of that one? Big in Liverpool is it?

 

No one plays cricket in Liverpool. I've never heard of a scouse cricketer. Its like a geordie footballer you dont hear about them very often.

[Jusoda Kid 1]

Can't say I've heard of that one? Big in Liverpool is it?

 

No one plays cricket in Liverpool. I've never heard of a scouse cricketer. Its like a geordie footballer you dont hear about them very often.

 

Who's the highest scorer in pl history?

[luckyluke 2]

Can't say I've heard of that one? Big in Liverpool is it?

 

No one plays cricket in Liverpool. I've never heard of a scouse cricketer. Its like a geordie footballer you dont hear about them very often.

 

That's because the stupid cunts can't read the rules let alone understand them.

[tinofbeans 91]

Not sure who are worse in London, the black cabs who won't go out of their way or the shady minicabs who'll go anywhere.

 

the trouble with the seedy minicabs is that a lot of them just want to rip you off. i've had a couple of rows with them in my time.

[Gemmill 44880]

Most South Africans i've met are. I can remember speaking to one client.

 

SA bloke: "Im not racist or anything, but I woulndt let them in the same pool as me"

"Why not ?"

"Cos they shit in the pool"

 

Read in an SA accent, that last line's a killer.

 

Had a Scouse taxi driver on the way home yesterday. Fuck me, what a bell. We were talking about the match, and instead of just talking about it, he kept telling me about jokes he'd made. Every incident or talking point was followed by "Or as I said to the lad,s XXXXXXXXXX" followed by laughter.

 

I can't remember what any of the jokes re the match were, but here's one he made about the chatter about Shane Warne making a return for Australia:

 

"Yeah I see Shane Warne's said he's very honoured by the accolade. Or as I said to the lads, Adelaide. Hahahahaha"

 

Cock.

[Guest You FCB Get Out Of Our Club]

Not sure who are worse in London, the black cabs who won't go out of their way or the shady minicabs who'll go anywhere.

 

the trouble with the seedy minicabs is that a lot of them just want to rip you off. i've had a couple of rows with them in my time.

Yep not being racist but they're normally black with poor English in my experience too. In contrast to the opening post like I got three taxi's yesterday two good lads, and a really good lass, I'm always surprised to see a lass taxi driver like. It's like when you go for a chinese take away and they have an accent like Rab C Nesbit.

[luckyluke 2]

Most South Africans i've met are. I can remember speaking to one client.

 

SA bloke: "Im not racist or anything, but I woulndt let them in the same pool as me"

"Why not ?"

"Cos they shit in the pool"

 

Read in an SA accent, that last line's a killer.

 

Had a Scouse taxi driver on the way home yesterday. Fuck me, what a bell. We were talking about the match, and instead of just talking about it, he kept telling me about jokes he'd made. Every incident or talking point was followed by "Or as I said to the lad,s XXXXXXXXXX" followed by laughter.

 

I can't remember what any of the jokes re the match were, but here's one he made about the chatter about Shane Warne making a return for Australia:

 

"Yeah I see Shane Warne's said he's very honoured by the accolade. Or as I said to the lads, Adelaide. Hahahahaha"

 

Cock.

 

That Warne one makes no sense whatsoever.

 

I've never seen a lass taxi driver. Bit dodgy that isn't it, driving around late at night and letting complete strangers into your cab? Unless they're built like David Haye I suppose.

[Gemmill 44880]

Most South Africans i've met are. I can remember speaking to one client.

 

SA bloke: "Im not racist or anything, but I woulndt let them in the same pool as me"

"Why not ?"

"Cos they shit in the pool"

 

Read in an SA accent, that last line's a killer.

 

Had a Scouse taxi driver on the way home yesterday. Fuck me, what a bell. We were talking about the match, and instead of just talking about it, he kept telling me about jokes he'd made. Every incident or talking point was followed by "Or as I said to the lad,s XXXXXXXXXX" followed by laughter.

 

I can't remember what any of the jokes re the match were, but here's one he made about the chatter about Shane Warne making a return for Australia:

 

"Yeah I see Shane Warne's said he's very honoured by the accolade. Or as I said to the lads, Adelaide. Hahahahaha"

 

Cock.

 

That Warne one makes no sense whatsoever.

 

I've never seen a lass taxi driver. Bit dodgy that isn't it, driving around late at night and letting complete strangers into your cab? Unless they're built like David Haye I suppose.

 

There's one in north shields, but she's in no danger of sexual attack.

[luckyluke 2]

[Jusoda Kid 1]

Theres a few on for walker taxi's, scarier than the blokes tbh

[Gejon 2]

Was shitting it once on a tuk-tuk in Bankok. The driver went to this quiet spot saying he needed the loo. There was no one around then this other bloke came up to us and we thought we'd been set-up for a robbery. The bloke asked where we from and started talking about Alan Shearer when we told him. Then the other bloke came back from his piss and we left. Paranoia, but you know what it can be like in a strange city etc. Also, Bankok is generally heaving and the place where we'd been left was absolutely dead and quite eerie.

Well your story reminds me of one good taxi driver or tuc tuc driver to be precise. When I was in Bangkok we got tuc tucs everywhere and they seemed to make the fare up as they went along. This one neet we’d been to Phatpong most mental place I’ve ever been in my life by the way, and we were so fuckin pissed there was 5 of us 2 in one 3 in another. Me and one of me mates were blind drunk, we’d had no sleep for nearly 48 hours, and the driver didn’t have a fuckin clue what I was saying, I doubt a southern English person would’ve done I was that wrecked.

 

Anyway between us we couldn’t remember what our hotel was called or where it was. Anyway this fuckin Thai had no chance understanding us so he took us to this hotel, where there was this black yank waiting on the door like that was his job, so he asked me where we wanted to go, I said I think it was this big building near some shops. Now bearing in mind Bangkok probably has as many big buildings and shops as any city in the world, it was like saying I’m looking for a needle in a haystack.

 

So I was like oh ffs, this was around 2am iirc, and our flight to Phuket was in about 8 hours, and we had to leave in 6, anyway the driver drove us round for 90 minutes all the hotels looked the same and he was going to see if the OB could help us as he stopped and pointed at the ob shop, then in a moment of pure inspiration I just "FUCKIN SOI LANG SUAN!!!!!!!!!!!" and the bloke went "oooooooooh soi lang suan!!!" The name of the road where the hotel was just came to me, and we were only 500 yards away, as soon as we got on the road I was thrilled to bits cos I knew where the hotel was from there, and this bloke drove us round all night and only charged us a 10a, he could've taken a right liberty but he was absolutely mint, bowed when we got out and everything.

 

 

My mate got lost abroad, he told the taxi driver it was the hotel with a pool and that's all he knew so they went round every hotel but no luck. He just got out in the end because he couldn't afford to carry on so he was even more lost. Took him 6 hours walking about to eventually find the hotel. He was on a big come down too after a night on any drugs he could get hold of and going through every prostitute in some whore house (he actually did, I think there were only 6 but he shagged them all ).

 

When he got in his feet were bleeding, he was crying and said he had genuinely contemplated just killing himself

 

I can't remember the exact figure but he spent something like 600 euros that one night

[McFaul 35]

The editor of the Ronnie just tweeted this. Doesn't surprise me like, knowing some of them who work for LA Taxi's and Newlem.

 

Five cabbies have been stripped of their licences in Newcastle as an investigation continues into alleged sex attacks

about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck

[Kevin 1]

So thats why CT hasn't been posting much