The Fish 10963 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 50 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43067 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 I’ve just finished making a belt out all my old wristwatches. Complete waist of time. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 10377 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 1 minute ago, Monkeys Fist said: I’ve just finished making a belt out all my old wristwatches. Complete waist of time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 25 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: I’ve just finished making a belt out all my old wristwatches. Complete waist of time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3259 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: I’ve just finished making a belt out all my old wristwatches. Complete waist of time. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11561 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 14 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: I’ve just finished making a belt out all my old wristwatches. Complete waist of time. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 203 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 (edited) A prolific Swiss clock and watchmaker with a collection of hundreds of timepieces has sadly died at the age of 95. Solicitors acting as executors say it may take several months to wind up his estate. Edited January 31 by Wardi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33837 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 10 minutes ago, Wardi said: A prolific Swiss clock and watchmaker with a collection of hundreds of timepieces has sadly died at the age of 95. Solicitors acting as executors say it may take several months to wind up his estate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6783 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 12 minutes ago, Wardi said: A prolific Swiss clock and watchmaker with a collection of hundreds of timepieces has sadly died at the age of 95. Solicitors acting as executors say it may take several months to wind up his estate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43067 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 23 minutes ago, Wardi said: A prolific Swiss clock and watchmaker with a collection of hundreds of timepieces has sadly died at the age of 95. Solicitors acting as executors say it may take several months to wind up his estate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43067 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 I’m guessing there’ll be a second hand sale? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3259 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?” The Fairy Godmother replied “Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?” Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish “I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.” Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said, “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother”. The Fairy Godmother replied “It is the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?” Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: “I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again”. At once, her wish having been desired became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke, “You have one more wish, what shall you have?” Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: “I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man”. Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He lent in close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, “I bet you regret having me neutered now, don’t you?” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3259 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11561 Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 9 hours ago, Wardi said: A prolific Swiss clock and watchmaker with a collection of hundreds of timepieces has sadly died at the age of 95. Solicitors acting as executors say it may take several months to wind up his estate. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 35574 Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 12 hours ago, Tdansmith said: Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?” The Fairy Godmother replied “Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?” Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish “I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.” Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said, “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother”. The Fairy Godmother replied “It is the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?” Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: “I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again”. At once, her wish having been desired became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke, “You have one more wish, what shall you have?” Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: “I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man”. Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He lent in close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, “I bet you regret having me neutered now, don’t you?” Saw that coming a mile off. Still laughed 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 10377 Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 19 hours ago, Wardi said: A prolific Swiss clock and watchmaker with a collection of hundreds of timepieces has sadly died at the age of 95. Solicitors acting as executors say it may take several months to wind up his estate. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9943 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11561 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 3 minutes ago, Toonpack said: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 10377 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 19 minutes ago, Toonpack said: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43067 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 1 hour ago, Toonpack said: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9943 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 You are all being very unfair in these Sir Cumstances 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 5 minutes ago, Toonpack said: You are all being very unfair in these Sir Cumstances We have you Sir Rounded, you should Sir Render. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33837 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 Well this has turned to shit. What a Sir Prise. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 10377 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 These Knight puns are blagging my head. Sir Real. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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